Sunday, July 31, 2005

To flatten or not to flatten

We spent this afternoon at the Santa Barbara beach playing volleyball. It was wonderful. There were some high school kids, some who played on their team, who we joined and we blended right in with them.

A few of us, I won't mention names, were in pretty bad shape, but a few more of us older folks held our own with the high school kids and didn't hold them back.

We ended up playing for three hours and I hope I didn't get sunburned. I didn't wear any sunblock, but kept my t-shirt on most of the time.

Anyways, before the game, my cousin and her hubby went to park along the beach road. They had their blinkers on and were in the process of backing into a spot when some punk kid zoomed in and stole the spot. It wasn't that he didn't see them, he clearly did.

Needless to say, my cousin's hubby was enraged. He was about to get out of the car and beat the crap out of this punk when my cousin physically held him back and calmed him down. "It's not worth it," she said repeatedly.

He was fuming when I met up with him. He told me the whole story and still wanted to beat up this punk kid but my cousin once again calmly explained why it's not worth it. I say he should have beat up the punk, because if he continues to get away with this, he'd do it all his life. Getting a good beating would put a stopper in this behavior.

So...who's right? My cousin, or my cousin's hubby?


Blogger United We Lay said...

I say beat the kid.

7/31/2005 4:58 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

ok, here's the thing, I'd say beat the kid. But... keep in mind punk kid= rich parents (probably) so they might sue because even though the kid's a jackass he techincally didn't do anything illegal. In other words is it worth paying the little shits hospital bills (I'd bet he would probably say yes but still) on the other hand he might have taught the kid a lesson. ZS, for comedic sake was he in a SUV or sportscar that was blasting loud gangsta rap and wearing a baseball cap backwards? Just curious I have had a lot of experience with these morons in my short life so far ;)

7/31/2005 5:43 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

I have had similar experiencies, in particular our supermarket parking lot.
On two occasions my solution to the problem was, I simply waited for the persons(Female)to disappear up the elevator; then I would walk over to the offending vehicle and deflate two tires, this is important as very few vehicles contain two spare wheels, then for more self gratification; leave a note under the shield wipers stating ; "Assholes like you should take the bus". To make one feel even more satisfied if possible wait for the person to return to his/her vehicle then drive past blow them a kiss and say "Have a nice day".
You will arrive home feeling much better knowing that you are not going to appear in court.

7/31/2005 6:38 PM  
Blogger Truman said...

I don't know, sure that kid was a douche bag, but it sounds like your cousin's "hubby" got way too worked up over a parking spot. Plus, instantly jumping to the "pummel" option is a sign of "I have something to prove" syndrome. The kid's going to be a jerk one way or the other. Not to mention the "hubby" might have gotten his ass flattened by a younger guy in front of his wife, or worse, put her in danger.

7/31/2005 7:05 PM  
Blogger exMI said...

UNless he enjoys going to jail for assault I would vote against pounding the kid despite the fact the kip probably needs pounding.

7/31/2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Well...I think that your cousin was right in this case. It's just best to not worry about it too much...unless, as Ben said, it's worth paying the hospital bills and facing assault charges.

That said, I'm more the passive aggressive type who wouldn't be against waiting till the guy was out of sight and then letting air out of two of his tires.

It's weird that you should post this today because I had a similar annoying thing happen to me in the parking lot of the mall...weird...and, no, I didn't do anything...I was leaving anyway...

7/31/2005 8:58 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Hi Z-Slayer. I have written a similar post on my blogsite, which contains an interesting road rage story, not to be missed. Visitors to the Zombie Slayer site please feel free to also comment at:

7/31/2005 9:49 PM  
Anonymous Dave, a friend of vest.. said...

If it is a female transgressor you cannot use violence or you will end up in the slammer, it is wise to be more subtle, a low voiced statement like," I'm sorry, I must go, I feel revulsed by your lavatory perfume smell and your ugly face, if I look at you any longer I shall probably throw up, goodbye".( NO WOMAN LIKES TO BE TOLD SHE IS UGLY) She will be seaching in the mirror for days after,'Wondering'

7/31/2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Well, if I wasn't such a sarcastic asshole, I'd say your cousin's hubby, BUT since that's not me, I say bitch slap him

Hey, I've been to Santa Barbara and I'm very jealous that you're in the area. VERY! Now go to your room and think about this.

8/01/2005 3:28 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

We were just talking about appropriate displays of agression. Is beating someone up over a parking spot REALLY necessary or appropriate? I lived in one of the most densely populated areas of chicago for many years - parking was at a premium - no one had garages and it was mostly apartment buildings. Sometimes you had to park 3 blocks away from your house or drive around for a half hour just to find a spot. And I still say - over a parking spot? grow up. Beating the kid is not going to make him understand WHY what he did was wrong. It's going to make him think that YOU are the asshole and he was justified in stealing your spot.

8/01/2005 4:51 AM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

What's right (letting it go) and what I would do (get pissed and throw a hissy fit) are often two different things. I am reminded of a particular scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where two young gals steal Kathy Bates' parking spot while saying "We're younger and faster" and she simply rams the girls' car with her own while stating "Let's face it, I'm older and I have more insurance".

8/01/2005 8:04 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

My guts always want to "beat the kid" especially when I'm behind the wheel. However, since I follow Christ--it goes without even saying it, that Jesus would have gone on his way and even would have said a prayer for the kid. While I don't always find the strength to "pray for my enemies" I have always found the strength to refrain from the perverbial "beating of the kid". My run- in with the Worst Waitress in the World, yesterday was a lesson in self control.

8/01/2005 8:39 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

beat the lil fucktard...but its bad form to say the least..use the one from the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes"..I am older and have more insurance..flatten his ride..not him..

8/01/2005 9:25 AM  
Blogger dave said...

i think he did the right thing in not fighting. you never know who you're messing with now-a-days and i don't think it's worth getting hurt over a parking space. sure, what that punk kid did was wrong. but i think it takes more strength to choose to walk away.

8/01/2005 10:41 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Not worth it. You can't read too much into parking space stealing, but if he's really a bad kid, he'll get his soon enough.

8/01/2005 1:08 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

I would probably exact revenge somehow but still manage to foil an assault charge.

Maybe pour several of buckets of sand in the punk's (surely, a convertible) car.

And maybe urinate in it afterwards, if he's STILL Piss-ed.

Given the circumstances though, I think your cousin had a point to calm him down.

8/01/2005 2:45 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

It's definitely NOT WORTH going to jail over this punk.
I used to carry self-stick stickers with me for just this purpose. Wait until the driver leaves the car, then plaster stickers all over the windshield. A hot windshield makes the stickers stick REAL good!
When the driver returns, he'll have to remove the stickers before he can drive the car.
In the computer age we can now print our own messages on stickers for this purpose. Be imaginative!

8/01/2005 4:43 PM  
Blogger savage said...

One more vote for administering that beating.
@ssh()|_[=s are everywhere.
Some old woman almost ran Mrs. Savage (ha!) over in the Safeway parking lot. All she had to do was NOT go when the car in front of her started when the light changed. Instead, she started moving. The biggest problem with that is that M and I were already in front of her vehicle. I can still see her (in my mind) with her old bitter expression, shaking her head back and forth. GRRR. I also remember yelling that it is a crime to run over pedestrians who ... have the right of way ...
If I had paper, I would have gotten her license plate no. I wanted to administer a beating myself. I can see (energetic and imaginative mind's eye) you, ZS, laughing. But yes, I, too, get mad as hell.

8/02/2005 1:41 AM  
Blogger savage said...

Reading other comments...
I have to go along with the flattening tires approach. If I had any notion of where that old hag lived or would later park, I think the stickers deal sounds good.
I'm like that. Too cowardly to be much use in a physical confrontation. But I tend to hold a grudge about petty nonsense. Like when people go over the line and think they'll get away with it because you're 'not important enough' to do anything about it (besides, when you do, they'll sue, etc.) ... so, yeah...
some kind of sabotage is in order...
really like that stickers idea... (ruminates)

8/02/2005 1:52 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

OOOh the stickers is a great idea. In addition to his windows, I say stick them on his mirrors and tail lights too!

8/02/2005 8:20 AM  

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