Ethnic jokes - Mexican

This is the first in the series of ethnic jokes. I've already told French jokes and American jokes, and I've made fun of Canadians earlier. So I guess to be fair, I'll touch everyone. I'm sure some of you good people out there are feeling left out.

My disclaimer is simple. If your ethnicity has not been hit yet, wait. There's plenty of love to go around. So if you know some, feel free to add. We'll have to be entertained somehow when the zombies will be moaning outside the gates. Charades gets old fast and so does poker when money becomes meaningless.

Oh, one more thing, in the post itself, I'll either not have profanity or censor it with asterisks. But for the kids, I'm warning you in advance that the comments section will not be censored so if your kid learns a bad word from the Zombieslayer blog, "no es mi culpa." (It's not my fault - important words to remember for Restaurant Spanish speakers).

So for our fast talking and slow driving neighbors down south, here are Mexican jokes. Enjoy...

Jose all his life has been saving up to see the Dodgers play a baseball game. Finally, after ten years of hard work, he saved up enough money to cross the border and bus his way to Dodger stadium in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, when he got there, the game was sold out. So he complained his story to the ticket guy and the ticket guy got sympathetic. "Well, I guess you could sit on top of the flag pole for $5."

So Jose did. He sat on the flag pole, watched the game, enjoyed a few beers afterwards, and went home.

When he got home, all his friends gathered around and asked him questions.

"Did you make it to Dodger stadium? Did you see the game?"

"Yes, yes."

"How was the game?"

"It was nice. Dodgers came back and won in the 9th inning."

"Wow. How were the American people?"

"Oh, they were so nice. Before the game, everyone stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and sang 'Jose can you see?'"



How many border patrol agents does it take to arrest a Mexican?
Three. One to arrest him, and two to carry his oranges.


Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you ever seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?


You know the first words a Mexican hears when he comes to America?
"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."


And of course, the one joke everyone's already heard...
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everyone who could run, swim, and jump is already in the United States.