Monday, February 05, 2007

The beauty in the girl next door

It seems that no matter how many times we tell you this, you don't believe us. We think you're beautiful, just the way you are. We know you are not perfect. We don't care. We love you for the whole package, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We get blamed for your insecurities and it's not right. Sure there was that one guy who made fun of you in high school. But he's a goober. Why do you still let it bother you? Let it go.

So, we have magazines and movies that show women who are more beautiful than you. Let me let you in on a secret. It's fantasy. We know it's fantasy. You should too. You don't have six figure making make-up artists and hairstylists following you around where ever you go. Neither do you have a touch-up artist covering up every mole, stretch mark, zit, and other imperfection you may have. Nor do you have a professional photographer or camera man who knows how to shoot all the right angles. These girls aren't real. They are fantasy. They're about as real as The Lord of the Rings movies.

We figured that out in high school. Well, some of us it took longer, but you know what I mean.

You know what we think? It's those d**** women's magazines. They're always telling you that you need to be thinner; that you need to buy such and such product and you have to have such and such an attitude to attract men. Spoiled horseradish, we say. The sooner you dump those rags, the sooner you'll feel better about yourself. Except Vanity Fair. That does have some interesting articles and interviews. And your cooking mags. We've enjoyed a lot of the recipes you've cooked from those. And your trashy romance novels. We love the cute smiles you get when you finish reading one of them.

When all is said and done, we married you - because you are the most beautiful of them all. You make us laugh. You make us feel. And best of all, when we think of you, we get warm and fuzzy inside.


Blogger Bhakti said...

Oh my GOD! I can't believe you are back!!! Today was the very first day that I posted a "Bhakti" post in about 6 months. What great timing, Zombieslayer! I needed to take some time to regroup--and I needed to get a laptop so I would be physically able to type a lot. Plus, I needed to trust my spiritual voice, which I now do. I trust in sharing what is dear to me--because there is only One, and we are it!

Love to you, my friend!

Welcome back to both of us, on this beautiful February day!!!!!

2/05/2007 8:22 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Thanks for your comments--so freakin' timely I couldn't have thought of a better post for you to share your two cents worth.
I have to say that this particular post of yours is very timely too. I was just holding my son (he's almost 18 months now) and he was poking at my belly and lifting up my shirt and I was thinkin' "ew. I need to do some sit ups" but then I caught my husband looking at me and his eyes were saying something completely different.
Great post, ZS. You truly speak for the real men out there.

2/05/2007 8:55 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Aww - what a nice post. It's good to see you back. Hmm... as usual, I don't 100% agree with you about why we women are as crazy as we are. Most of us have had just enough stupid assholes in our lives to make is question the truths you just mentioned. But then again, I know some guys who've had their share of raving lunatic girlfriends. Usually,though, the issues that even the crazy girls have with their guys have nothing to do with looks. Having said that, though, you're right about one thing. The magazines and models don't make us feel any better about the standards we'll never achieve.

2/05/2007 9:04 PM  
Blogger Mr. Althouse said...

Hey! You're back! And look... There's Bhakti and Sadie Lou too! Ok, now that I'm over my initial shock...

Your post is powerful, and right. The Madison Avenue brainwashing has created an aesthetic second class. But it does require our cooperation... we don't have to buy into it.

I hope you plan to stick around a while,


2/06/2007 12:55 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

I had given up on you my friend. Now I really have to update my links.

You might want to update this post with a video from youtube. Check out this post on a friend's blog. It is so apropos to your topic.

2/06/2007 4:57 AM  
Blogger exMI said...

Wouldn't you know that two weeks ago I finally took you and the zombielama off my links list and here you are. Noae I'll need to edit again.

2/06/2007 7:50 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

THANK YOU for this post!! It's just what I needed to hear today. The only thing you need to add, is that you guys need to TELL US this secret more often!

As you can see, we ALL have been pining away for you!!

2/06/2007 11:49 AM  
Blogger SME said...

Hey! Welcome back!! Thought the zombies finally got ya.

2/06/2007 3:17 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Bhakti - Heh. Too funny. Welcome back to you too then. :)

Sadie - Your husband knows he has a good woman, and a real man can appreciate what he has.

Notta - Yeah, there are those, in both genders, but they're best to be ignored. The more we ignore them, the sooner they'll go away.

Mike - Will do. I won't post as often, because still busy, but man, I missed blogging.

Scott - That's too funny. I tried to leave a comment on her page but google's being dumb.

Exmi - I hope he's coming back. I missed his writing.

Tshsmom - Thanks. I missed blogging. Hope soon I could really devote some time to it.

SME - No way, baby! I'm ready. :)

2/06/2007 6:42 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Welcome back!

I have some Zombies that need exterminating in the ritualistic fashion.

Any chance you can get right on that?


Ben O.

2/07/2007 7:02 AM  
Blogger chester copperpot said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2/07/2007 9:47 AM  
Anonymous dave said...

welcome back, bro. it's nice to see you writing again.

2/07/2007 9:50 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

Hey Zombie man, I loved this post, as did at least 99% of your female readers I'm sure.

Guess what, it made me get one of those cute smiles that women get after reading trashy romance novels. You my friend are a romantic, and I agree with you about the women's mags, including Vanity Fair, which is one of the only ones I read.

I am thrilled at your return, the cosmos works wonderfully because I too was just about ready to return to blogging, all I needed was a kick in the pants... thanks <3

2/07/2007 3:01 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Very nice post. It made me go awwwwwwww. Then it made me ask some questions:

While I do agree that these myths and fantasies are fabricated, we cannot stop there. We must ask ourselves, why? Where do they come from? Isn't the function of a fantasy the fact that someone out there desires it? If so, who? Why is that someone so powerful so as to be able to so thouroughly penetrate our consciousness? You can't put the onus solely on women for buying into this crap without also realizing that there must be a critical mass of men who buy into it as well for it to be as pervasive as it is.

Nice to have you back. I would have responded to some of your comments at my place except that the email notification has been flaky lately - I didn't know you were there :/

2/07/2007 7:39 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Ben - You're all the way in Colorado. If you need any tips though, let me know.

Dave - Thanks. Hoping you do an update as well. Missed your writing.

Clothosfate - I really hope you do. I love your energy. It's actually contagious.

Laura - No doubt there are men who buy into that crap. They're called "perpetually frustrated." Not the type of man you'd want anyways.

As for the fantasy, the thing is too many jobs (and talents) rely on it. You have the make-up artists, who are talented in their own right. But they do too good of a job. You have the brush up artists, now done in Photoshop. You have the photographers who know how to shoot all the right angles. As an amateur myself, I could take an average woman and make her look beautiful in pictures on angles and poses alone. And I'm just an amateur. Then the hairstylists, the folks who work the lighting, etc. All those people contribute to taking an actress or model and making her impossible in the real world.

So they're all to blame. The producers, the publishers are to blame. We're all to blame too, both regular men and women. But as I've always said, self-esteem must come from the self, and women need to start believing us when we say you're beautiful just the way you are. The last sentence is what I was aiming for.

2/07/2007 8:19 PM  
Blogger Bo Salisbury said...

You're alive! Wow, I just asked Sadie if she'd heard from you on February 2... So, what's new?

2/07/2007 9:21 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Bo - Yup. Still kickin'.

Work has brought me to San Francisco now. The Zombieslayer family is all missing Chico, but we're making a lot of money and we're finally living in the same house together during the week.

Besides that, still working on the business and won't make a dime from it until early next year. It's been a blast though. We're going to be living our dreams soon.

2/07/2007 9:24 PM  
Blogger lime said...

WELCOME BACK!!!!! you've been sorely missed.

thanks for that post. now if every husband would say that to his wife and let her know what it is about her that he finds most beautiful it would go a long way, a very, very long way. we could probably topple madison ave if they did.

2/08/2007 3:38 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

ZS, I agree - I would also add the makeup industry, fashion industries, and the food and diet industries. Have we missed anyone? Is there any industry that doesn't, in some way (directly or indirectly), rely on these myths? If not, we could safely say it's an ingrained part of our social and capitalist structures... what better way to turn women and men into consumers than to make them believe they can buy their beauty in a box?

2/08/2007 4:17 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

I should specify - by "these myths" I'm referring not only to the fantasies about the ideal woman, but also the fantasies about ideal masculinity as well - after all, in a binary world, one can't exist without its counterpart

2/08/2007 4:20 AM  
Blogger Mybrid said...

Welcome back, ZS! What a wonderful birthday surprise for me.

As for your post - now I understand why I don't have this problem - I don't read the women's magazines! Not only that, but in spite of not looking like the model on a front page, or in Hollywood, I've had a good share of men attracted to me. So I figured it's not about the looks. Obviously, there's more to it.

2/08/2007 4:35 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!! I missed you! You are wrong, ZS, it is reading your blog that puts a smile on my face, not trashy romance novels.

2/08/2007 2:33 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Your post is on the money.

Good to see the zombies didn't get to you.

2/08/2007 4:40 PM  
Blogger Songbird said...

YAY You're Back!!! and huge numbers of comments right off the bat how lovely!!! (((((((hugs))))))

And of course a sensitive great post.....

You da man, Zomb!!!!

I used to be Bridget Jones.....

2/08/2007 7:24 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Lime - Heh. Madison Ave would be out of business.

Laura - You are right it's going both ways. I'm surprised how many guys I know buy tans now, especially in California. Now, get this - guys can buy butts. They're getting butts surgically put in.

But I've always believe beauty can't be bought. It comes from the inside and flows outward, not the other way around.

Mybrid - Do you know why? It's because you're cool. Coolness goes a long way, for both sexes.

Slade - Too cute. Okay, I won't be a stranger to this blog.

Joe - Nope, still alive baby! And congrads again on your engagement.

Songbird - I'll drop by right away. How's Canada treating you?

Hey, I can't get to your page. Link?

2/08/2007 7:41 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

ZS, Songbird's address

2/09/2007 5:33 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Tshsmom - Thanks.

2/09/2007 5:57 PM  

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