Tuesday, April 25, 2006

More P.C. whackiness

My theory

I have a theory. You know how when you wash your clothes, you take seven pairs of dirty socks and end up with only thirteen after you dry the clothes? Well, naturally, you'd assume the dryer ate one of the socks.

I'm now under the impression that dryers around the world don't eat socks. Instead, they teleport them up the butts of the politically correct. That's why they're so stuffy.

The other day, I was shopping at Trader Joe's with two friends. One of my friends asked me what vitamins he should buy. I suggested to buy the "Men's" vitamins, because they don't have iron. He asked what's wrong with iron. I told him that men don't bleed, and don't need iron. In fact, too much iron is bad for the stomach. My other friend threw in "yeah, and you're already backed up."

Well, some man-hater interrupted and called us "chauvanist pigs." We gave her a look like "huh?" Then she quickly took off. Absolutely amazing. I guess the world is out to get her.

"They're not like that!"

Back in the 90s, a movie came out called To Wong Foo which featured Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguziamo as drag queens. It was a comedy, designed to make people laugh. I rented it with my two roommates at the time, and laugh we did. In fact, we laughed so hard we watched it a second time before we returned it to the video store three days later.

At work the next day, a friend of mine asked what I did the night before. I told him we rented that movie and thought it was quite funny. Some P.C. whacko interrupted and said "I have three friends who are gay, and they're not like that!"

You got to love it when a straight college girl can be the spokeswoman for the entire gay community. I'm sure gay folk appreciate that.

Offended by Asian cartoons

Several months back, an entrepreneur wanted to open up a store in Portland. Unfortunately for him, he was of Asian decent. He wanted to use a cartoon of himself, and a bunch of white people got offended and sued him not to, for it was "offensive to Asians."

The P.C. whackos won, and he ended up taking the cartoon image of himself down. So the message in this was the cartoon face of an Asian is offensive to politically correct white people. Now, who are the real racists?

Illegal immigration

I've done illegal immigration to death but please read Neal's article on "Limbaugh Laws". Neal says it much better than I can.

And before I go, I'll leave you with these pictures. Yes, this was in America. Imagine doing this in any other country but America, and imagine what will be done to the perpetrators.

Oh, one more thing. The other day I saw a bumper sticker that said "Work harder - millions of people on welfare depend on you." They ought to change that bumper sticker to say "Work harder - millions of ungrateful illegal aliens depend on you."


Blogger SME said...

Heehee. I'm heading down to the university campus right now to approach all the humanities profs & ask for my socks back.

4/25/2006 6:46 PM  
Blogger lime said...

well dang. i always thought the lost socks transmogrified into wire coat hangers.

4/25/2006 7:03 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

SME - You might want to wash them twice. And yes, what is it about Humanities professors?

Lime - Hmmm...
I'll have to count the wire coat hangers and see if there's an extra one each time I do laundry.

4/25/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Perhaps I could interest you in a case of my new product, PC-B-Gone? Some people might need more than one dose...

4/25/2006 8:09 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Shawn - Lol! Sure. I could use it on the HR staff.

4/25/2006 8:36 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

The so called multi racialism in Australia is causing deep concern for everyone, ethnic rivalry has now extended to sreet bashings, house invasions and of course the mandatory drive by shootings which are becoming commonplace despite Strayer's draconian gun laws apposed by gun lovers.
A few years back I recall a Talk-back radio guy was told by a part indigenous aussie that all place,street and river names should be changed to Aborigine names, the aborigine guy requesting this was the now deceased politicion, CHARLES PERKINS, you can guess the reply he got without fracturing your brain.

4/25/2006 8:50 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - It was working here fine as long as people assimilate. It's when folks don't assimilate that we have problems. Illegals don't assimilate. Their kids end up in gangs and don't graduate high school, and their families end up on welfare and cause tons of crime.

Of course, someone will call me racist for telling the truth, without realizing that I'm the child of a legal immigrant (from a Third World country). My legal immigrant parent loves America and taught me to love America as well. So we called ourselves American, spoke English at home, stayed out of trouble, took school seriously, and now all the kids are successful. No coincidence there.

4/25/2006 8:59 PM  
Anonymous D said...

One thing I noticed was that it's not the illegals that are bad, it's their kids.

Funny story about those pc people.

4/25/2006 11:18 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

*grin* You've been gone much, much too long. But I don't even want to think about my favorite orange striped sock...*covers her mental eyes and tries to stop laughing*

Grr. That flag photo just might stop me.

4/25/2006 11:54 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

D - That's too funny you mention that. From experience, I've usually gotten along well with illegals. They come here and work hard. Their kids however are unappreciative losers, and it's their kids who get into gangs, cause all the problems, and hate America.

Miranda - Heh, do you really still want that sock or should we buy you another pair? ;)

Yeah, I know I've been gone but really, I wish I had more time. I'm shooting for a post a week. No guarantees though. I'm in paperwork H*ll right now with the business.

4/26/2006 12:10 AM  
Blogger neal said...

Thanks for the link. I posted my final say on immigration this morning. I may have to re post it though. I copied and pasted it and then some paragraphs got all whacked out and I don't have time now to go back and fix them.

I think next time I wash socks I am going to fill them all with thumbtacks and razor blades so that the one that gets shoved up some PC fools behind does some damage.

4/26/2006 4:13 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

how about "work harder--so the rich can get richer and the poor can get poorer"

Actually ZS, I disagree with you (surprise!) because I think the problem is that illegal aliens DO work too hard...we depend on them too much.

About the socks--W must have the whole fruit-of-the-loom stock up his!

4/26/2006 5:47 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

I'm a fence sitter on Political Correctness. The instances you mentioned are just plain stupid, I have to agree with you. Men & women have different dietary needs, and as for the other two - fuck em if they can't take a joke, right? Oh, and some drag queens really ARE like that.

But I also think that language and imagery are very powerful tools that are used by the dominant classes to categorize everyone and determine what is valued and what is not. I believe chairman ought to be chairperson. I believe that certain words are just too negative and too powerful and infused with too much baggage and hatred to be used openly (the N-word and C-word come to mind).

Sure it can be taken too far. But for me, it's not about making sure you never offend anyone - since that's impossible - but making sure you understand that the language you use reflects the beliefs you hold, and that we need to constantly question both in order to grow as people and a society.

4/26/2006 6:32 AM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

I loved To Woog Foo Love Julie Newmar....great movie and lots of laughs! Its not so much the gay community as the drag community. Lots of different lifestyles out there, they girl needed to get that sock out of her ass!!

smooch darlin!

4/26/2006 7:19 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Neal - I'll have to check it out tonight. And yeah, good idea. I think I'll fill my socks with tacks as well. Give them a real reason to be grumpy all the time.

Slade - As I've said many times, the world would be a boring place if everyone agreed with me all the time. ;)

the rich get richer and the poor get poorer when we outsource middle class jobs and have illegals continually undercut the working class. Keep in mind, the rich don't have to follow labor laws and safety regulations when they employ illegals instead of Americans. The Man loves that.

Laura - I'm a strong believer in what Orwell was saying in 1984. control the language, control the people. PC seems to me like language control.

As for chairperson, how about chairman and chairwoman? Just like mailman and mailwoman, depending on who's bringing you the mail. When the company I venture capitaled for gets big, the President will be Chairwoman also and that's how I assume she'd want to be addressed when they build a board. I'll have to ask her.

Jenbeauty - Yeah, I laughed really hard. I actually think John L pulled it off best. Swayze and Snipes both have hard, masculine looking faces, but John L's face was soft.

You are right. I stand corrected. Weird thing is, not all drag queens are gay, and cross-dressing is a small segment of the gay communities. But I regress, it's a comedy, designed to make people laugh. I wasn't looking for deeper meaning in it. It was more someone said it was funny so I watched it.

4/26/2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Whoops, I think the correct word is digress, not regress.

4/26/2006 8:37 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Always a pleasure to read one of your posts.
Those pictures you posted--were they supposed to invoke anger? Because they did just that.
I agree with the observation that it's the younger generation of "aliens" that are being all hardcore--

4/26/2006 9:02 AM  
Blogger lime said...

i think the thing that bothers me most about this immigration bill is giving a pass to illegals when i know so many legals who have jumped through all the hoops, played by all the rules, are productive members of society and yet INS makes their lives so difficult.

4/26/2006 9:02 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Sadie - Yeah, anger works. What I saw was a complete lack of respect. I'm not crazy about disrespectful people. As someone who loves going to Mexico, I don't do that to their flag, I try to respect everyone, and I try to speak Spanish (although I'll admit, I have a horrible accent). Why can't they be respectful here?

Lime - Completely agreed. There are so many loops and hurdles a legal immigrant goes through. They make sense, because we're trying to weed out the criminals, the terrorists, or people who will just end up on welfare. With illegals, it's a crap shoot. You can't weed out the bad ones.

Illegal immigration is such a slap in the face to legal immigration. It shouldn't be tolerated.

4/26/2006 9:22 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

ZS said: "I'm a strong believer in what Orwell was saying in 1984. control the language, control the people. PC seems to me like language control."

Very true. But someone always controls the language. The fact that we "freely" express ourselves has always been an illusion. Who decided which form of English was "standard"? The dominant class and culture. Who determines what words are considered "obscene"? Who determines what is considered normal? Same people. A grassroots movement to challenge the hegemony of language isn't the 1984-type control I fear, because it's visible. I fear the form of control in which people don't even realize they're being controlled and simply accept the status quo at face value.

Chairwoman is just fine. But the problem with that is that it denotes a dichotomous division between people rather than an inclusiveness.

4/26/2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/26/2006 2:36 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

you just don't have anything good to say. *wink* ZS doesn't delete comments very often.

4/26/2006 3:50 PM  
Blogger neal said...

I might even fill my socks with explosive devices and a remote detonator...

Those images just flat out pissed me off. I would like to fly a C-130 gunship past all of them and just hose the whole group down with cannon fire.

In all my comments on immigrants I will not deny that a good many of them do work hard. The problem is that they aren't paid much and therefore they sometimes require aid in the form of social service programs. Those programs should not be used to help support ANYONE who is here illegally. I just don't understand why folks can't grasp the meaning of illegal.It means they broke a law to get here and therefore are criminals. Send them home or put them in jail but they do not deserve the same benefits that naturalized citizens or legal immigrants recieve.

Finally I think that any immigrant who comes here should be held responsible for the action of their children. If their kids join gangs or get into trouble with the law, send the whole family packing.

I may sound like a hardass but those are my thoughts.

4/26/2006 4:19 PM  
Blogger neal said...

You gotta read this.

lonsberry on Bush and illegal aliens

4/26/2006 4:50 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I LOVE THIS POST! It's no wonder I miss reading your blog.

That first lady, uh, you know, since there's a spare sock, I'd like to shove it in her mouth. I'm just sayin'...

As for the straight gay defender, she wants me. I just know it!

Now for the Asian cartoons, I like Asian Anime and anyone who doesn't like me liking it can bite me.

And you know me and politics, but that flag thing really lights a flame under my ass.

Did I tell you I met the Lama? We partied. I showed him how I do. :P Funtimes.

4/26/2006 5:07 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Hmm, I believe in some PC, especially in certain situations, but when I'm not at work, I'm a little bit careless about what I say. My theory is because I have to be overly cautious at work, so it leaves me less energy to focus on wording in other situations.

4/26/2006 5:18 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Zomb, how come destress essentials doesn't include vibrating aquatic mammals?

4/26/2006 6:37 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Laura - My bad. It went right over my head that you were correcting my typo. That was a typo, I assure you. I fixed it.

As for dichotomies, this is one I think I'll just have to respectfully disagree with you. I like our differences (between men and woman). I do believe in equal opportunity, but I'd rather not see us lumped together. It's just so unsexy.

Sadie - He's the only one I've ever deleted. ;)

For those who are wondering - DHG didn't get enough attention as a child and really is screaming for it from me. Maybe he wants me to be the father figure he never had. Who knows? I just don't have time for that bag of neurosis.

He's an unemployed actor with too much time on his hands and is jealous of the world for his lack of talent.

Neal - In any other country, if an immigrant has punk kids, the whole family gets booted. Nobody wants trouble makers. I don't understand why we put up with it.

Jenn - She was cute too, but that was ten years ago. Hopefully she mellowed out. And yes, she would want you, she just doesn't know it yet.

Asian Anime is cool, but it's really Mrs. Z and Junior who are the big Anime nuts in the Zombieslayer household.

As for the Lama, that's so cool. I'm going to email him. Now there are two things that I'm jealous of you of - you're going to see HIM, and you met the Lama.

Notta - I try to watch my mouth at work, but it always gets me in trouble anyways. The funny thing is, I've become the popular guy at work because I say what other people want to say but are afraid to. Kind of weird that it worked out that way. Plus, for some odd reason, the people at work think I'm funny. :p

But yeah, in your situation, you should be more sensitive. You work in a situation that requires more sensitivity. Well, actually, I take that back. I work with computer nerds, who are about the most over-sensitive people you'll ever meet. :(

Bridget - Lol! I'll have to email the business lady who owns that and ask her. I want a giant vibrating dolphin, d*mnit!

4/26/2006 8:02 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I heard a guy complaining about how movies of the 80's had such freedom, and I realized how right he was. Could anyone get away with making Sixteen Candles anymore, playing a gong every time Long Duck Dong's name is mentioned?

4/26/2006 8:13 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Scott - A lot of things from the 80s would be censored. Remember the movie Airplane? One of the funniest movies ever made. That whole movie would be censored today.

4/26/2006 9:12 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I WANT to go see HIM, it's in the workings. And whatever he tells you is a lie! All lies! :P Except for the part where I made Mr. I Don't Dance, dance.

4/26/2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger Mr. Althouse said...

I agree that all this über sensitivity has us walking on egg shells (well some of us, personally, I'll crunch right through them!). A lttle common sense and respect with a pinch of humor would go a long way.

I heard the Limbaugh laws when he read them on his radio show and although good ole Rush and I have rather little in common, I have to give credit where credit is due - it was a compelling piece. Starting to feel like a doormat over here - don't know 'bout anyone else...


4/26/2006 11:47 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...


here's a suggestion for you loosin socks... next time wash two pairs at a time.

'bleedin' as u say isn't the only way you loose blood... some guys do donate blood. i know one who does it every three month. I guess he'll be needin those vit with iron.

4/27/2006 1:07 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Jenn - HIM isn't even coming to Northern California. :(

Will see Ministry though next month. :)

Mike - Yeah, know what you mean. I'm feeling like the middle class is being taxed to death and all our jobs are unsafe, yet nobody cares. We're always concerning ourselves with everyone else in the world, but what about Americans?

TC - Donating blood is supposebly healthy. Forces your body to make new blood, which is a good thing. I'm scared of needles though, so never did it. That's my phobia.

4/27/2006 8:33 AM  
Blogger Moni said...

Ha! Do the socks get stuck to their butts, or up their butts?

You know what my problem with anyone disrespecting the flag is that if they don't like the U.S. then go live somewhere else!

Also, what they fail to realize is that when a flag is hung upside down it's a sign of distress...morons! Sorry, things like that make me angry. :)

4/27/2006 2:38 PM  
Blogger Truman said...

Ha ha ha! You haven't changed one bit! If you liked "...Wong Foo...", you should check out "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert". "...Wong Foo..." is a remake of that movie starring (believe it or not) Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce, and Terence Stamp.

4/27/2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Farewell, once again, Daniel! ;)

ZS, be careful what you wish for! You could easily wind up with the vibrating dolphin on your doorstep. ;) It MAY wind up in SME's luggage first.

4/27/2006 4:04 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

gee, tshsmom, am beginning to think that you don't like the little critter ;)

p.s. no I don't want it...yet....not THAT single tee hee hee!!!!

4/27/2006 6:31 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Surely; Some out there must love DANIEL HOFFMANN GILL ?
Although I was not impressed when he re-introduced himself by saying " How ya going you old bastard" after an absence of six months on my blog.

4/27/2006 6:35 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Moni - Ha! Do the socks get stuck to their butts, or up their butts?

Inside. So, I'd throw the sock out when I get it back.

You know what my problem with anyone disrespecting the flag is that if they don't like the U.S. then go live somewhere else!

Exactly. And yes, it's okay to be upset at stuff like this. As I said, imagine if they did this in any other country.

Truman - I'll have to check it out. I'm kind of a movie geek.

Tshsmom - Heh. Will the giant vibrating dolphin become the gift that everyone dreads getting? I could see this thing being passed around more than once. ;)

Bridget - I'll have to look out for a giant vibrating moose for you. ;)

Vest - Yeah, the guy has no class. He obviously didn't get enough attention as a child and will do anything for attention today. Some people never grow up.

4/27/2006 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to wong foo rocked. I sent off that CD a while ago. Did you get it?

Dusty the rock star/mokuyobi

4/27/2006 9:08 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Dusty - Forgot to send you an email. yeah, drove my neighbors nuts with it! Thanks. :)

4/27/2006 9:37 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Zombieslayer:(Notta I try to watch my mouth at work)

Be always of the opinion of the learned, if they speak first.

4/27/2006 11:22 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Zom I forgot to mention its called 'Grovelling your way to the top'.

4/27/2006 11:27 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - Heh. Or just agree with everything the Director of the department says and you'll get promoted. ;)

In American corporations, if you offend anyone, you have to watch a Human Resources video on sensitivity and you might have to go to sensitivity training. That is, if you don't get fired.

Yet another few reasons I can't wait to work for myself.

4/28/2006 8:31 AM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

hey ZS just thought of why the socks go where they go

because that's where our feet, shoes, boots and other foot apparel should be, obviously.

Planted up their butts as far as they can go.

Our SOCKS have some sense.....

4/28/2006 7:30 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Tc ; seems that the medieval practice of 'Blood Letting' had its merits afterall.

4/29/2006 2:12 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Bridget - I have a new respect for socks. :)

Vest - Actually, I've heard several doctors say that you should give blood, because it makes your body create fresh blood. So yes, granted no infections occur, bloodletting is a good thing. I still won't play rugby though.

4/29/2006 11:28 AM  
Blogger savage said...

zombieslayer institute of technology? So the copyrights are held by "Z.I.T." ?
Just wonderin'

4/29/2006 2:43 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Savage - Yes, the Z.I.T. is the research foundation I work at. We research proper techiniques in zombie survival.

4/29/2006 4:54 PM  
Blogger savage said...

yes, but...
Send some of these people over to my blog, would ya?
*wink wink*

4/30/2006 12:07 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Been there, Savage!

4/30/2006 11:51 AM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

Wow! people can't seen 2bgettin enough of you... whoa! the pressure!! har har:)
its holiday morrow...late third king's BD...yippy!
cee u on wednesday!

4/30/2006 10:57 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Only smart asses will answer this one.
What John lost his family jewels when he got into the wash and nearly drowned?

5/01/2006 1:42 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

It was King John of England.
Click on Google, 'King John in the Wash'.

5/02/2006 5:11 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

To people who are "offended" easily by something I've said or done, I reply breezily "Well, I'm offended that YOU'RE offended!"

But I'm not offended that you're back posting. Not at all. It's about time!!!

5/02/2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Savage - You have to post first. ;)

Tshsmom - You tell him. :)

TC - Yeah, I need to do a new post then.

Vest - I know that King from the Magna Carta. Nice to know a little trivia with it.

Saurkraut - Yeah, hopefully we'll get more than two posts this month out of me. As for offense, that should be my response next time.

5/02/2006 6:53 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

I found my orange sock!

I bet that man-hater lady is in the same family as the lady that always looks at my fiance and I in an odd way when we go into the natural foods store. I think she can tell I eat meat.

5/02/2006 11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Zom - check out We Hate Gringos

5/03/2006 9:00 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Miranda - Yeah! A reunion with your fav pair of socks. :)

I got Mrs. Z off a vegetarian diet. She'd complained about being anemic. Eating meat fixed that.

Anon - Thanks. Already seen it though. I hope others do, so they see what's going on. Like I said, pull that crap in any other country besides America and very bad things would happen to the perpetrators.

5/03/2006 10:40 PM  

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