Tuesday, May 16, 2006

What's that guy up to?

What am I reading?

Harry Potter 6 again. I read the book in one day, the first day it was out. I've been reading nothing but non-fiction (historical stuff) lately and needed a break from it.

What am I listening to?

Currently Garbage's Beautiful Garbage is in the car. I hated it at first but it grew on me. I still think Version 2.0 is better though. Lately, it's been HIM's Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights which I absolutely love.

What's my current guilty pleasure?

I've been eating Carl's Jr's Double Bacon Greaseburger once a week since working at where I currently work at. I think it's because I'm so used to eating healthy that I have to sin once a week.

Plus, I like this particular one. There's a half-retarded guy who right now really inspires me. As cheesy as this sounds, he loves his job and I'm trying to learn to love my job as much as he loves his.

I'm really trying to change the way I look at things, trying to enjoy simplicity. I was talking to my boss today and we talked about success. We agreed that contrary to popular opinion, it's not the one with the most toys. It's the one who appreciates what they have.

That brings me back to the half-retarded guy. He enjoys his job. I've seen him walk to work and he looks like he doesn't have much, but he seems to enjoy what he has. More power to him, and that's what I'm currently shooting for.

What am I watching?

The recent movie I watched was Jarhead. I actually thought it was not bad.

What's for dinner?

Giada's marinara sauce over pasta with shrimp which I'll do a quick fry with olive oil and garlic cloves.

Why am I laughing

Because a friend of mine sent me this joke. It's not very politically correct, but you all know how I feel about political correctness. Here goes:

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru? "

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute....."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot!

Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and....."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad!" Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

34 Comments:

Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Good to see you - have missed ya. MMM.... buuuurrrgers (in the spirit of Homer J. Simpson). :-P

5/16/2006 8:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. Althouse said...

That's a great joke... still. It's kinda funny - I start to hear a joke that I know I've heard before, but I still get taken by the punch line - then I say... "oh, yeah."

As far as the Carls Jr. guy, the conversation you had with your boss and striving to enjoy life on a simpler level - it's all pretty much the same thing. It is a worthy quest and one I think you'll find has no ultimate destination. I just keep discovering more and more facets of the same jewel.

Nice post,

~mike

5/16/2006 9:14 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Notta - You'll have to let me know who down there in S.J. area makes the best burgers.

Mike - Thanks. I'm realizing there's more to life than toys and money. Will take a little bit of de-programming though. :\

5/16/2006 9:36 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I've heard that one. Fookin' Protestsants!

5/16/2006 11:08 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Rat - Dang it. All right. It's back to the drawing board. I need to find a good Irish joke that you haven't heard yet.

5/16/2006 11:11 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I saw a clown performance at a fair once. It was the same old schtick--boring. I almost got up to leave, but there was one person in the crowd who laughed at every single joke, fell for the misdirection, clapped like mad for every tada. He was, as you may have guessed, retarded. I watched him for the entire show, captured by his innocence. I wondered then who was better off between that retarded kid and myself. What does it take to entertain me anymore? But this kid walks through life loving the lilt of the breeze, the call of birds, a helicopter overhead, watching jets land at the airport. He doesn't feel shame when someone laughs at him, and doesn't want to be anything more than he is. He is happy.

5/17/2006 5:11 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Love the joke! Awesome! Glad you're back posting...

5/17/2006 5:47 AM  
Blogger lime said...

you're a wise man to learn from the retarded fellow. wise indeed.

that joke is an oldie but a goodie....hehehehe.

my current guilty pleasure is not having to clean the kitchen due to my broken arm. woohoo

5/17/2006 6:23 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

laughing aloud--as usual!

oh yeah, and just so ye know, the correct term is mentally challenged--get it right ZS, GOOOSH (spoken like napolean dynamite)

5/17/2006 6:31 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

The recent movie I watched was Jarhead. I actually thought it was not bad.

I have that movie sitting in it's Netflix envelope right now. I'll let you know.

5/17/2006 9:48 AM  
Blogger icy_highs said...

lmao!

5/17/2006 11:27 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

I'm protesting on behalf of protestant prostitutes, that your Roman Candle funny "ha ha' was an R C - Re-Cycled pope up.
By using the word 'FRICKEN'as used by B A C's; which incidently is not in the Strayer-Nat- Dict and an alterative to the 'f word, as heard on TV', it is my duty to inform you all that, the afore mentioned porno religeous joke is so Fricken antiquated in fact, that the gift to her father was originally, a Gilded landau Carriage and a team of Four Nags.

5/17/2006 5:16 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Another old joke.
What did Charlie 1 say in 1649 to his executioner?
Answer: "Short back and sides please; but not too much off the top".

5/17/2006 5:25 PM  
Anonymous bruce said...

notta wallflower, couldn't get on your blog to answer one of your Qs about what are BAC's, I believe the answer is born again christians

5/17/2006 6:09 PM  
Anonymous Arfer said...

Nah!, It aint wot i fink they is i mean B A Cs, They's is -boring asian crabs, an they done arfitch.

5/17/2006 6:18 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

ZS - I'm not sure about good burger places around here. I will have to do some research and get back to you. :-)

5/17/2006 7:13 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

holy shit ZS that was hilarious, I'm still laughing.

5/17/2006 7:36 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

sadie lou: I have seen Jarhead too, you saying it was not bad brings me to saying it was not good either.

5/17/2006 10:53 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

"I'm really trying to change the way I look at things, trying to enjoy simplicity. I was talking to my boss today and we talked about success. We agreed that contrary to popular opinion, it's not the one with the most toys. It's the one who appreciates what they have."

Welcome to MY world ZS!
Remember: QUALITY of life is more important than QUANTITY of life.

LOVE is our greatest gift. Love is nurtured, not bought.

5/18/2006 4:45 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

tshs: Well spoken, I totally agree.

5/18/2006 8:49 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

My fav jewish guy (joke) put down.
"Hey you--The fella with the big Smella".
I often use it on my izzy friend.
And I offer no apoligies if you are offended.

5/18/2006 8:58 PM  
Blogger SME said...

Now that's one of the many reasons I so admire Spongebob. He LOVES his job. And he, too, works at a greaseburger store. Ya gotta dig that.

5/18/2006 10:28 PM  
Blogger mckay said...

"What's for dinner?... Giada's marinara sauce over pasta with shrimp which I'll do a quick fry with olive oil and garlic cloves."

! is that Giada from 'Everyday Italian'? her marinara sauce is the BEST. that's the one i make! yummmm

5/19/2006 1:17 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Funny joke... ;o) I like Garbage and Harry Potter, and the latest book is the best, by far! But no red meat for ME, thank you very much. Of course my eating habits aren't perfect; there's always room for chocolate!

5/19/2006 4:54 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Hey ZS was that one of mine? cool!!! Missed ya, sweetie!!!

5/20/2006 2:12 AM  
Blogger snavy said...

I'm reading H.P. 5 again then I will reread 6.

Love the joke!!!

5/22/2006 11:17 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

Met this guy from Longbeach Cal in my club on Sat. Say's Budgewoi beach on the pacific coast NSW OZ stretching nearly 10 miles long is pristine and uncluttered, loves it here, wouldn't live anywhere else.
In any case Australia is doomed to become the 52nd State.

5/22/2006 3:50 PM  
Blogger lime said...

zs, glad you like my storytelling. if you want to hear a trini accent you chan check my feb 7 post ;)

5/24/2006 4:02 AM  
Blogger Moni said...

You know I think Carl's is actually Hardee's on my side of the coast.

Funny joke...too funny! ;D

5/24/2006 4:48 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

what am i reading?
some book called lila... but am in the first page!! i could still read HP6!

listining to:
the raveonettes album pretty in black

guilty plessure:: watchin' Americian Idol...heck!

Watching:
jellyfishes in the air^_^ i see many

Dinner:
i am cookin'

I am laughing:
cause you made me^_^

more jokes please!!!

5/25/2006 12:22 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Scott - That's actually quite beautiful. Yes, I've lost my innocence. I can't laugh at that kind of stuff anymore. I think it's so cool that the half-retarded guy at Carl's Jr seems to love his job. the guy can enjoy simplicity, which there's definitely a beauty to. Same thing with your story about the retarded guy at the fair.

As for clowns though, they scare Mrs. Z so funny or not, I can't see them when she's around.

Melanie - Thanks. I'll post more.

Lime - Funny you already heard it. Was new to me. Hope your arm heals soon. If my arm broke, we'd have to eat my wife's cooking at that wouldn't be a good thing.

Slade - Mentally challenged? I think we're all mentally challenged. ;)

Glad you liked the joke. I'll post more when I hear (or remember) them.

Sadie - Saw your review on your site and commented.

Icy - Always happy to make someone laugh. :)

Vest - That joke was actually funny, in a sick way. As for mine, it was new to me.

Bruce and Arfer - Or Boring *ss Celebrities.

Notta - Please do. I think you have In and Out somewhere. I'll have to ask Joe. he lives by you.

Ben - Awesome.

Tshsmom - Remember: QUALITY of life is more important than QUANTITY of life.

LOVE is our greatest gift. Love is nurtured, not bought.


Very true on both points. And yes, nurture love and it will grow.

Vest - My old Jewish Professor told me what schmuck meant. I had no idea. Now if you really want to insult someone, call them a schmuckle.

SME - Spongebob is a stud. I think James Bond wishes he was as cool as either Spongebob or Bugs Bunny.

McKay - Sure is. Love that book. I love her smile too. People who smile like that rule.

Saurkraut - Lime's a huge chocolate freak. I love it too, but wouldn't necessarily call myself a conneseur.

Never knew you liked HP. Very cool.

Bridget - I must have missed it if you posted it. No, got it from a former co-worker who's now in San Jose (about a forty-five minutes from us).

Snavylyn - Awesome. I'll try to dig up some more. Oh, and 5 was my fav.

Vest - Depends on your immigration policies. ;)

Lime - I'll check it out...

Moni - I've seen Hardee's, and did not know that. Carl's last name starts with a K. It's something like Keutchner. Did they merge?

TC - More jokes coming hopefully soon. I have to shake my brain until one falls out though...

Never heard of the Raveonettes. What country are they from?

5/25/2006 12:46 AM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

the raveonettes !! got no idea but they are NOT from US... they are alternative rock band

don't shake your head too hard... all good ideas may fall off:)

5/25/2006 11:43 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

TC - When it doubt, ask wikipedia. So, they're Danish. I'm listening to The Christmas Song. Very pretty. :)

5/25/2006 11:53 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

Oh no! That's terrible!

5/28/2006 9:21 PM  

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