Sunday, August 07, 2005

I can't stand Windows

My new job entails both Unix and Windows environments. I'm going to confess something to you. I can't say this at work because they'll have a cow.

I hate Windows. Windows is as exciting as a traffic jam. It's like covering up your favorite fishing hole with a concrete slab and putting a strip mall there. That's Windows for you.

In the old office in Bellevue, WA, across from Seattle, we had a problem with one of the urinals. You'd flush it, and it would just keep flushing. So we'd call the owner of the building and let him know the urinal's Microsofting again.

Windows has viruses. You have to worry about attachments. You have to worry about security holes. You have to worry about someone breaking into your computer. These are flaws, and the reason is simply Microsoft does not hire the most talented. In fact, it generally hires the least talented.

I know this from experience. I used to live there and turned down a job with them. They're wackos, like an overgrown cult. They want someone who will conform and never question his or her boss' decisions. They want people who will give their every waking hour to Microsoft. They expect you to work 60-80 hours a week for the first few years. Screw that, I want to live.

If you want proof of this, download videos of Steve Ballmer jumping up and down like a monkey. Or visit the campus yourself. Microsoft employees all have that look, like they just came out of the pods in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You could spot them across the restaurant.

From a technical standpoint, their operating systems suck. The performance is horrible. My main machine to this day is a PII 300 mhz box running linux. It's fine for everything. Trying sticking Windoze XP on that box and it will die a horrible death. Actually, don't. I love that old box.

Compile a java product, side by side, with one box running FreeBSD or Linux and the other a Windoze operating system. Hit 'ant' at the same time. The Unix box (FreeBSD, Linux, MacOS X, Solaris from Sun, they're all Unix - in fact everyone's now Unix except for Microsoft) will complete about three times faster than the Windoze box.

It's no coincidence that Apple went to Unix. It's also no coincidence that just about every real server on the internet is running some flavor of Unix.

Oh, and you don't have to worry about viruses either when you run Unix. The only time you have to worry about viruses is when you're holding something with a virus in it and you send it to your friend running Windoze. Whoops, sorry buddy. There goes your computer. Poor guy. When I get rich, I'll buy you a Unix box and you'll never have to worry about that again.


Blogger Laura said...

Ever used Linux? I don't know enough about it to use it. I tolerate windows. Good antivirus software and Norton Utilities keeps me up & running. I used to use Macs when I worked on the student newspaper - back then Quark didn't run on Windows. Most of the stuff I do for work can't be done well on a Mac and schoolwork really doesn't matter what you do it on. But yes Microsoft will destroy the world...

8/07/2005 8:36 AM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

It's so funny you posted this. My ex worked at Microsoft and he DID come from the pod of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I know all about their corporate policies, which just encourage their employees to become more unhealthy than they already were in the first place. I shake my head in dismay at the type of culture they promote. One of my friends recently interviewed there and did not take the job, which was for the best. The quality of his work would not have mattered if he did not spend every waking minute at the office. But, hey, you get stock options (which are worthless), free pizza for staying late, and all the sugary soda you can drink!

8/07/2005 8:48 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Laura - Yeah, my main box is a PII 300 Mhz linux box running an old version of Mandrake. it does everything I need it to. It's been working fine since '98 and I never needed anti-virus software, any Norton tools, etc. Linux is so much cheaper to own it's unreal. You don't even need a fast machine, unless of course you want to play Doom 3.

Jen - So you know from experience. Their corporate policies are absolutely evil. For the record, I've worked in only one company that didn't supply free drinks. It was Earthlink, which had 25c Cokes/Dr. Peppers/Mugs/Sprites and waters. Free coffee and tea though and also free hot cocoa mix. Monday was bagel day and Thursday was doughnut day too. Oh, and everyone had free food for staying late as well.

Microsoft likes to believe they offer their employees perks but they don't. And yes, that stock is worthless now.

8/07/2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

ZS, I couldn't agree with you more. Of course, I'm sort of biased since my main occupation is a Solaris sysadmin....

I even gave the ol' PC to the zomblings (most of the games are for PC... no way around that) and bought a powerbook. I've never been happier with a computer. In fact, it's the powerbook that kind of has me interested in computers again.

And microsith isn't the only wacko company out there. I turned down a job with Amazon back in the day for the same reason. Those people were more zombielike than yours truly! Scary....

8/07/2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

ZL - I'm jealous. I looove Solaris. If I had a Solaris box, I'd probably sleep with it. It would drive Mrs. Zombieslayer nuts. She already worked hard for me not to sleep with my guns anymore and to sleep with her instead.

Yeah, I used to take the bus with a guy who worked at Amazon. I was careful not to let him get within biting distance of me. They're nutty too. Actually, that whole area's nutty. Microsoft, Amazon, Boeing. They're all zombies! Aaahhh!

Glad I moved back to California.

8/07/2005 11:25 AM  
Blogger exMI said...

Ok, enough of that now. The Zombie slayer can't get too cozy witht eh Zombie Lama. There are sure to be union rules against that or something. I'd be willing to switch but all the games run in Windows. So I am stuck.

8/07/2005 11:43 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

It's not just Winblows that sucks either, but it seems that most of software wrtten for it has gotten bloated too. It seems to me that something is wrong when I can do complete install of SUSE linux and all the goodies in the same space as a raft of Adobe software...

My current peeves with MS include all the things you mentioned and some others.

I hate all the files created behind the scenes. Every few days I run CCleaner on my Windows computer and clear out several MBs of randomly generated crap like DAT files and temp files that just get left there.

I hate dealing with b.s.of having Windows just decide that I would be better off using something like Explorer instead of Firefox, or maybe I should just always Windows Media Player...

By the way, it's not just MS products that do that now, I finally took Norton off my computer because it kept popping up a 'friendly reminder' to renew and would open my browser to help me out. Let me get this right, I'm supposed to pay for an antivirus program that acts like spyware?

Meanwhile, I inch slowly toward living without MS and just using Linux...

8/07/2005 12:32 PM  
Blogger Dawner said...

I just can't wait till the day emerges that we are controlling the computers instead of the computers controlling us. It sure is bad when it use to be that a cold cup of coffee at work was the only major fall back. HEE! HEE!

8/07/2005 2:36 PM  
Blogger Slade said...

funny about the urinals...yeah, it's true!

8/07/2005 4:09 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Man ZS, you sound like I used to when I worked at Generous Motors. Exactly the same problem(s) too. The tendency/requirement for management to hire clones of itself sowed the seeds of the Motors' near meltdown in the early 80s. None of the big shots experienced the nonsense that the car buying (in your case, computer buying) public did, and the problems got bigger, more common and more serious with time. I still don't think they woke up.

The place I'm in now is a lot dumber than the Motors, however it's bigger, so sooner or later the same thing will happen (error, error, ERROR, ERROR, CRASH). Guess the trick is to get out prior to everything going to hell. I'm kind of famous for that.

Wish I could say or do something to make it better, but even if I could, fat chance anyone'd listen...Bridg

8/07/2005 4:54 PM  
Blogger exMI said...

Dumber than General Motors and bigger? You must work for the government.....

8/07/2005 6:48 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

yup! my computer had spywire cause i downloaded those cute Sponge Bob screensaver!
But now its system is clean and i don't download...
i HATE pop-ups...they get into my nerves like hell, they really do
BUT then i think i'll get bored to death if there was't a wondow....its an irony..
me think...we take eveythin for granted and complain a lot abt everythin'...comeon we really do...imagine no more virus, pop-ups, virus infected attachments...then we would say 'boy! the window is making me seein jellyfishes all over this god damn town'...heheh

think abt it!

ps: so what do you love abt window...?

8/07/2005 10:43 PM  
Blogger savage said...

Windoze is a human sickness, too. I remember when you'd walk past those large-windowed (glass storefronts, not software) offices and you'd see people have left their computers on (why?) and ALWAYS you'd see the blue screen. Back then, the blue screen simply meant WordPerfect -- probably version 5.x ... Microsoft leveraged itself to destroy competition. When Windows was first being tested and people were "upgrading" (back then it was really just a fancy menuing system; in fact it was at its best when it resembled macOS) … anyway, when it was first being sung into offices everywhere, Microsoft ALSO released Word for Windows and WordPerfect practically died.
It isn't just that MS knows it's "software" better, it is also that they don't deliver on their promises and engage in deceptive tactics. They were expected (contractual agreements -- WordPerfect, IBM and Novell.......) to deliver specs for ALL operating systems. They started calling Windows an Operating System when it was really a DOS extension (DOS was never really an operating system; it is more like a bootstrap; like a simple "hello" program. It isn't even as good as the UNIX/LINUX shell --any flavor-- As a person familiar with Assembly code for Intel 80x86s, etc., I can tell you that DOS is SAD indeed. WordPerfect and Lotus and everyone else did their own Look and Feel.
Bill, you stole from us and you delivered a shoddy package that you make us pay you if we want to program for it. We have to pay you if we want to service computers using it. We have to pay you if we even want to SAY we HAVE services said computers.
Sick of it.
Let IBM and everyone else do all the work and then steal the product and/or publicity. OS/2 anyone? Can you believe there are supposedly servers still running it?

Sorry So Long -- just a touchy subject with me. ZS knows this. Maybe he wanted to see if I was awake. "Yeah, I'm awake. Thank you."

8/08/2005 1:44 AM  
Blogger savage said...

…and Tenxichoden:
Microsoft and Windows ARE NOT FAMILY nor FRIENDS nor NEIGHBORS. You CAN and SHOULD live without them. This in't a say something nice to undo the negative atmosphere, don't want little Billy to be upset, he may cry and then his mom would be upset with the teacher. It isn't like that. This is a product and you can OPT OUT. That is, don't buy it.
You act like after I say Wal-Mart destroys the morale of its employees and passes the savings on to you that I should then congratulate Sam Walton for bringing us all those low prices! Go to Target for F---'s sake! Or geez: do some local shopping.
There is only one thing about Windows that is worth speaking to and that is it prevalence. The "everything is running on it and so'm I"-ness. But WHAT are you doing that you think you can only do on Windows?
Games? Geez people do you have this much free time? If so, then it may interest you to know that MANY MANY MANY games exist on LINUX/UNIX platforms.
You like the point-and-click GUI (graphical user interface)? You think UNIX/LINUX is a command prompt? It isn't! Even our servers usually have X installed (that's a windowing software, but some of us don't even like to use the word 'window' ... no reason).
Word Processing -- HELLO? K. KDE comes with office software. People who like widgets can get SunOffice or whatever there are several suites. OpenOfficeOrg is the one I like. In fact, like Moz/Firefox you can get it for PC/Windows, too. Gimp, too (graphics software)!!!!
Networking -- UNIX/LINUX is where NETWORKING was BORN AND RAISED people. It is still godfather/godmothered/babysat by UNIX/LINUX servers ALL OVER THE WORLD.
I should do an anti-ms rant, too. These are just too easy.
Ducks in a barrel dept.

8/08/2005 1:57 AM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

ok Savage....will take your word for it...and boy! i feel damned for using the metaphore..but i don't know much abt linux...
AND just so you know i don't play games on computer..

8/08/2005 3:03 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Um....I like Windows don't hit me.

8/08/2005 3:16 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Shawn - yep the software is a big contention with me. Why is it when Microsoft updates Office, they get rid of all the good features in favor of more fisher-price esque features? I can see that with Word because everyone writes letters. But I want an audience with Pope Gates to tell him to leave ACCESS ALONE!

8/08/2005 6:07 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

My husband and I belong to the church of the iMac. Every "real" man in this church owns at least two very expensive Apple products. My husband is on his way--He just bought an iPod.
I must admit: I can't wait until we buy an iMac. I selfishly desire to make quality movies with my pictures...
I don't know much about software or computers in general but I do know that "cool" people love Apple and I am surrounded by Apple people--it's time for us to get with it.

8/08/2005 8:22 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

so true, my dad hates em with a passion, and hes been a programmer since 1976.

8/08/2005 1:39 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

Yeah jenn, I like windows too.

But I'm still holdin' out until zombieslayer gets rich and buys us all things.

8/08/2005 2:45 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Marketing and timing = big advantage MS.

8/08/2005 3:07 PM  
Blogger savage said...

Stopped meaning "you" specific after I left the topic of say-something-nice-to-offset-the-bad dept.
Meant "you" general.
Because Linux/UNIX is native 32/64 bit, whathaveyou, sometimes you can get some awesome effects in games. Ask ZS: I'm not the type to say 'awesome' so I really mean it here.
I honestly don't care, since I'm forced to think about it, if people use their computers to play games. Sometimes I get bored, too. That's odd, though, since I have so much reading to do (plus there's porn on the internet...) oh, sorry, where was I? -- ... I used to think that using a computer to play games was really horrible, because "it's an office machine" ... but I'm not really that elitist about the machine itself anymore.

8/09/2005 2:41 AM  
Blogger savage said...

It's ohkay.
I won't hit you.
However, you may find it interesting to note that the computer I use to post these comments HAS NEVER CRASHED ONCE.
Granted it is new and rarely used (we sleep alot) ... still.

8/09/2005 2:42 AM  
Blogger savage said...

Access is a Toy. Even Fox is a toy. Microsoft thinks we're in the kiddie pool.
People familiar with my resume will think I'm the world's biggest hypocrit (I can not spell, either) [hippo-crit?] ... oh well.
You don't have to necessarily like something to be an 'expert,' ... this is actually news to me.

8/09/2005 2:45 AM  
Blogger savage said...

(Where's ZS?)
Does the Zombieslayer need me to channel him or something?
Schedule of Channeling fees to be posted soon for your convience, ZS.

8/09/2005 2:47 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

Fantastic and funny..god i love this post..don't most people KNOW that windows is a screwed up mess?

8/10/2005 8:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

some of you may have watched a recent o'reilly "spin zone" where he had 2 republican senators on an asked this question to them- If terrorist snuck a dirty bomb over the mexican border, would that be reason to impeach bush?
they both responded - YES!
well then why dont the republicans do something about our borders?...

8/10/2005 12:55 PM  
Blogger savage said...

What does this have to do with Hating Windows?
I don't see Bill asking such an obvious question. He's an asshole. A shill.

8/10/2005 11:47 PM  

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