Sunday, June 12, 2005

More P.C. lies - bullies

I'm so proud of Junior. He really does have a heart of gold. I already told you the true story of how he saved his buddy's life. I would have grounded him for going in the creek after the storm when he should have known better, but grounding was not necessary because he learned the hard way that a river is stronger than even the strongest of men.

He also recently almost got expelled. Why? For beating the s*** out of a bully. A warning of expulsion? He should have gotten a medal. Reason #5386 why I wish we were in a financial position where I could homeschool him.

There are two big lies that P.C. people will tell you about bullies. First, they'll tell you bullies are cowards. Huh? No, bullies aren't cowards. They're tough kids with a level of anger that they cannot control. If they were cowards, everyone else wouldn't be afraid of them.

The second lie is to never attack a bully. Instead, go tell a teacher. Yeah, that will work. Then everyone else in the school will call you a tattle-tale because kids would rather be friends with the bully than with the normal kid.

Always attack first. Attack hardest. And keep attacking until your enemy goes down or out.

Junior's bully loved to start trouble with other kids. He was used to everyone else backing down. Of course, he never got caught and all the teachers thought he was just swell because teachers have only two eyes and bullies know that. Simply pick on kids when teachers have their eyes elsewhere.

We had one bully in the ninth grade who would slap kids right in the classroom. In this case, the teacher didn't care because the teacher was his wrestling coach. He would sneak up on them and lift up their hair, then slap them hard on the back of the neck. I was always the curious fellow, so I'd immediately look at the teacher to see his response. I could have sworn he was hiding a smirk every time the kid did it as he pretended to grade papers.

Well, Junior was waiting in line for lunch, minding his own business when the bully walked right up to Junior, made an obscene jester, and cut in front of him. Junior did give him a warning. Bully should have heeded it.

So just as I taught Junior, he did a quick trip, got into the mount position (a wrestling position where the wrestler mounts his opponent - the best position for "grounding and pounding"), and proceeded to punch him in the face until a teacher broke up the fight.

The bully got off completely and Junior was made out to be the "bad guy." He was given a harsh warning - one more and you're not only out of the school, you're out of the district - an expulsion notice.

Now some people might think what Junior did was wrong, but I'll tell you why it's right. If a bully is never challenged, he will be a bully his entire life, until he gets his a** kicked.

Case in point. Work. Grown men are supposed to behave better. They don't. If you work in a large corporation, you'll meet people who are so good at kissing a** with their bosses that they get away with murder with the grunts. I worked with a guy who was about 6'5" and full of muscle, an alpha male. Nice guy to me, so I never had a problem with him. But he used to muscle around my boss all the time.

"This and this need to be done by Monday or else we'll have to step outside," he'd say in a joking voice. My boss knew he wasn't joking, he was being condescending. He was intentionally intimidating my boss because my boss at the time was a semi-Alpha male - good looking, in good shape, and moderately smart, but not as big as Alpha Boy. The problem with Alpha Boy is he needed a good a** kicking. He needed to cut in line in front of a guy like Junior, my son, my young hero.


Blogger Slade said...

I totally agree with you Z...good for junior! I always stood up against the bullies that would pick on my younger brother. I beat up a few boys in my days :-)

6/12/2005 9:23 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Slade - Awesome! Trust me, your younger brother is grateful, even if he doesn't say it. I still to this day look up to my older brother and am very grateful for knocking some sense into bullies when I was a little runt.

6/12/2005 9:25 AM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

ZS you have one great kid there. I know you won't let the factory rejects grind him down.

I'm proud of all of you.

Can't say that I beat anyone up (actually the reverse happened once) but I do use my too quick mouth to cut. Am trying hard not to do that anymore. Not to be PC but to not hurt.


6/12/2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger dusty said... me its a punk out the bully or just embarrass his ass in front of a bunch of classmates and then see if he attacks me..i like to push buttons and get the upper hand mentally..on guys like the bully..drives em up a wall it does..but hey..whatever works i always say..

6/12/2005 10:40 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Way to go Jr! You've just gained a lot of respect from this bully's victims. Unfortunately, most of them won't have the guts to tell you this.
This story is soooo WEIRD! The exact same thing happened to my son. Only it was 3 bullies and they slammed my son into the wall to cut in line.(I guess that counts as an obscene gesture) My son had a size disadvantage; he's got a late summer birthday, and his bullies had been held back a year(big surprise!). Adrenaline and the element of surprise were in Z's favor. It took 2 teachers to pull him off the bullies.
Unfortunately for ZSJr and Z, the retribution happened in a public place. Bullies count on this. Now the bully can cry foul and our kids are made to look evil.

6/12/2005 10:54 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6/12/2005 11:11 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel - Stop wasting my time already.

6/12/2005 11:28 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Way to go Junior!!! I hate a damn bully. I've never been one to let someone bully me. Too much of an "alpha-female" I guess:) But my son, who is seven, just doesn't have that in him. He's already gotten bullied a couple of times this year and he's only in the first grade!!! One boy even attacked him in the bathroom and tried to molest him. That's when I want to go hurt somebody. Hey, this reminds me of something. I think I'll go make a post about it. See ya.

p.s. and you've taught junior well, btw...

6/12/2005 12:01 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

How did I know that Daniel would respond to this post? I must be psychic!

6/12/2005 12:03 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

I still don't regret my big junior high bully moment...

It started when the class weasel guy knocked my books out of my hand in the hall between classes and then took off running. I went to go pick them up and the school bully -- who seemed to be about 27 -- started kicking one of them down the hall.

I was an honors English kind of kid, so I think it caught him off guard when I shoved him into a door and called him an a$$ho!e. He turned and proceeded to start beating the crap out of me, but I unleashed my secret weapon...

I had braces and I just smiled at him when he went to slug me in the mouth. He had to get stitches. I had to go to the office and they sent me home, but I think the principal was secretly proud of me and my parents never mentioned it again.

He didn't ever bother me after that and when he went to a different high school the next year, I was pretty happy...

Anyway, throwing down isn't usually the best way to go, but sometimes you just have to step up.

6/12/2005 3:20 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Is that the picnic nitwit?

6/12/2005 3:51 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

My son had a bully. His name was Cody. They are in the same second grade class. This kid had a mohawk--what are parents thinking letting their child take on the persona that comes with a mohawk? Do you know any nice second graders that sport mohawks?
Ryan would come home with these stories of Cody pushing him around. It really bothered me because Ryan is bigger and stronger than this kid.
We gave Ryan the permission to hit the bully if the bully started anything with my son physically. Ryan obeyed.
Cody stopped for awhile but then it was like this kid's ADD kicked in because he went back at it like he forgot.
One day he punched Ryan in the neck while I was watching from my car.
I got out of my car and followed the kid to where he waits for the bus. I drug him by the collar of his shirt to the principal. The principle is VERY anti-bully so this kid got read the riot act. I also told Cody that I'm watching him and I know his home phone number.
It's summer now, but I hope the third grade is bully-free for Ryan. Props to you ZS for training your kid to stick up for himself against people who disrespect him. I fully agree with your parenting.

6/12/2005 6:06 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

As a teacher, I agree. Your son gets a standing O. Though I hate to ever see it come to violance, sometimes a bully needs to be bullied. Otherwise, they'll eventually get to the point where they torment someone to the point of coming in and killing a bunch of people. You are right, bullies are not cowards, some will kill you when confronted, and they need to be addressed at an early age. We do our best, but we can't be eveywhere and see everything. We do have some rest int he knowledge that there are kids like your son, who will stand up to these jerks, even if it comes to blows. Again, I don't condone violance, but, dude, great kid!

6/12/2005 6:58 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

Yeah, looks like junior reached his breaking point and dished out a well-deserved ass whooping. You've read what I did to 'AKAT' (a bully when I was 6 years old).

Teachers shouldn't get all-up and fussy because they should understand more than anyone else that schools are there to learn more than just what the books tell you. It's comparable to a lesson in life.

Pay attention to it and eventually you will meet every single person you will ever meet at school/ college.

Again, kudos to junior for standing up for himself - just stay away from that district expulsion. Yikes ... a little harsh?

6/12/2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

ur kid rocks ZS, screw the district, that was stupid. All of his classmates will love him, I'm not sure how old he is but he might get a gf out of this ;). We all know he did the right thing, and I've had my own experience with bullies, it's amazing how they turn the victim into the attacker and how the retarded ass teachers believe them every FUCKING TIME (sorry I'm on a little rant here). He needed to be put in line. I would like to say there is legal recouse you could take but I don't think you have the resources and the school didn't "technically" do anything.

6/12/2005 8:11 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

I guess some will see this as a metaphor for America's "first strike" mentality, but I just see a kid who got what was coming to him. Good for junior!

6/13/2005 5:18 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Looks like you've made it to the front page of Daniel's blog this week. Lucky you...

6/13/2005 10:31 AM  
Blogger kitkat said...

I agree with Dusty. I'm all about using words to hurt people and take them down a notch. Public embarassment is awesome.

6/13/2005 12:28 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Thanks for all the compliments everyone. I was fuming when I wrote this, especially since it was Junior who was made out to be the bad guy. You all made me feel a lot better about the situation, putting human sides to the bully situations and showing that it seems like almost everyone had to deal with this bull**** sometime in their life.

6/14/2005 4:23 PM  
Blogger Mokuyobi said...

First, now that im using the moniker "Mokuyobi" who's Dusty??

Second, I am all for finding non-violent solutions. However, I have met more than a handful of people who will never learn through any other medium than violence. Although I'd like to advocate that like, everyone can reach a higher level and discuss things like real people, there really are people who only understand a good ass kicking.

The thing i wonder about is the parents of bullies. We all know the bully with the broken home, like Nelson Munts, and the bully who's parents are bullies too, but what would you do if your kid was a bully? Would you know about it? My mom didnt know about half the things i did, at school and with my friends. What would you do if you found out that YOUR kid was the one beating up the geeks? How would you deal with it?
(I mean, you as in the communal "vous")

6/16/2005 5:07 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Mokuyobi - As a parent, you have to put your foot down early. He knows that if he ever starts a fight, there better be good reason for it and he better have witnesses.

6/17/2005 12:58 PM  
Blogger savage said...

Just like the "real world," ZS -- you have to have a reason and it's better if you have witnesses -- especially video tape ... or else it's assault.
That is one of the things that annoys me about schools and (some) parents today. All this touchy-feely stuff. Like they act like bribing and threatening are such horrible things, don't do that! It's bribing! or Oh no, you can't THREATEN him, he's just a kid!
But that's how the real fucking world is run. You live your life, truth, justice and the pursuit of happiness, etc. but you can't do it without the bribes (you don't work for free -- and you have to pay bills) and threats -- what happens if you don't pay that gas bill?
The way I see it, the better you demonstrate reality to your kid(s) the better off they'll be.
I should mention that I've been "in charge" of many kids in my life and I've never EVER had to hit one. But that does't mean I haven't had the pleasure of threatening and bribing them.
Example A: "If you clean your room, we'll go for ice cream."
Example B: Two little girls, 10 and 11. The 11 yr old was satan. The two girls were sitting on the couch, talking, playing, watching TV, whatever. I was doing god only knows in another room -- probably computer related. Anyway all of a sudden, I hear screaming! I mean bloody-murder is going on or something. I come to the living room, all alarm, ready for anything...
anything but what I found:
Two girls sitting quietly, though guiltily, on the couch. I said: "Please don't scream, adults think it's an emergency and they come running. Only scream if it's an emergency, do you understand?"
The 10 yr old nodded. I looked at the 11 yr old, she hesitated, she nodded. I said thank you. I turned around and...

"AAAAAH!!!" I turned back around. I knew the 11 yr old just screamed but the 10 yr old refused to rat her out. (Good, loyal sister. Or scared of satan, whichever.) 10 yr old was scared as hell that I'd do something (I hadn't figured out what I'd do yet) and was squirming uneasily in her seat. I still remember it vividly. The 11 yr old was stoic. I can't believe it. I knew it was her but I needed ...
I said (to 11 yr old): "It was you, wasn't it?" She said nothing.
I turned to 10 yr old. I said: "Don't lie. If you lie, that's the worst thing. Do you understand?" She nodded. I said: "Was it you?"
She flinched, looked at her sister and shook her head.
I then got an opportunity to be impressed by the 11 yr old. I grabbed her and held her immobile. I told her to apologize and to promise not to do it again. That little girl really heald out! I'm somewhat claustrophobic, so I would have caved in like ... seconds. She held on for several minutes! I was even having a whole other conversation with her sister. Eventually she gave in. I expected to hear hell from the mother; abusing the 11 yr old or something. But at that time, I told the 10 yr old that when her mom gets home, if anyone asks anything to just tell the truth. Surprisingly...
a) The mom told me I did the right thing. (They all knew I had a moral problem with hitting. I had to leave the room when the mom had to spank them once for being loud after bed time...)
b) a few weeks later satan had a friend over and that friend was Satan (capital S) worse than our 11 yr old! I couldn't believe it. I must be out of touch?! Kids are really hellions these days?!?... anyway a situation arose -- of course -- with the 'guest' and she started, mark this, talking back to me!
At that point, I remember VIVIDLY, the 11 yr old told her friend, "you don't want to mess with Rob"
I'm not kidding about bribery and threats. It's how it works as adults. *shrugs*

PPS: You really feeling better, ZS? Two days of flu and you're calling Kavorkian... ;0

6/19/2005 6:29 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Savage - you're an awesome babysitter. Good way you handled bullying between sibling. And yes, I feel great, thanks. As I told Vest, I'm a total pansy when it comes to colds. I get the flu and think of calling Kervorkian. I guess I just hate the feeling of being helpless.

6/20/2005 9:40 AM  
Blogger savage said...

Holy crack; I'm the same way!
Hense all those 'anti-sleep' rants.
I mean what the hell will happen if the zombie plague starts and I'm fuckin' unconscious. That is unacceptable!
Where's my nodoze and coffee, no fallin' asleep on the damn job!

6/21/2005 5:12 AM  
Blogger savage said...

(Except I seem to have a relatively good immune system)
Except now. Now I'm an obnoxious gas factory. Anyone wanna come over to watch videos?

6/21/2005 5:13 AM  
Blogger savage said...

I think ZS called me an awesome babysitter because he's trying to convince me to kidnap his kid for exercise. I'm trying to convince Mrs. Savage (ha!) that it's a good idea. The last couple times we played (badmitton how the hell do you spell? The little birdies come in a pack, I'm not joking, called 'shuttlecocks') anyway, the last couple times we played, a kid asked to play too -- different kids.
Yesterday, (before seeing ZS and poetry night), in fact, a little girl came over and asked us if we had an 'extra' racket. Eh, no. But I gave her mine. Mrs. Savage (ha!) insisted that the little girl take /her/ racket and so I had to play against the kid. But the poor little girl wasn't as good as the kid the day before and soon had to go. But Mrs. Savage (ha!) thought the kid was "really cute" so maybe soon...
PPS: Does Junior have a racket? That may help.

6/21/2005 5:21 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Savage - I love badminton.
Let's play tomorrow, for I'll be unemployed for a week or two. Hopefully not longer. I'll call you.

And yes, that's my intention. Junior needs to get out. His friends are lazy and out of shape. You should have seen how awful they looked at the water balloon fight.

6/21/2005 9:37 AM  

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