Monday, June 06, 2005


I had a History Professor once tell the class that there were three cuisines in the world. You have your Asian cuisine, where there are too many people and not enough food so they basically eat anything and everything. You have your European cuisine where the meat's awful so you spice or sauce the h*** out of it. And you have your American cuisine where you actually have enough food so you eat lots of everyhing.

I originally thought he was joking. After graduating, I started making enough money to sample different cuisines. He wasn't joking.

Everyone has their favorite and least favorite cuisines. Here are mine.

First off, I looove good Italian. Sometimes I think I need to move to Italy. They still like heavy metal there. Their actresses are hot. They had a porn star in their Senate. And their food...

Second, I love Thai food. Mrs. Zombieslayer loves Thai best and Junior loves Thai iced teas.

Third's a toughie. I really like Sushi. I like Korean bar-be-que. And I like Pho and Vietnamese spring rolls.

What don't I like? Two cuisines I can't stand. Both are highly rated too and I don't see why. I hate French food. I see French food as cheesy yuck yuck. It's oversauced and they seem to rely more on their presentation than food quality. I guess if they can't make it taste good, at least make it look good, right?

And I hate Indian food. I loathe it. Tastes like dirt. Or more like they took some bits of chicken, overcooked it until it's mushy, and added mud. Yuck. You couldn't pay me to eat French or Indian food.

I used to hate Ethiopian food. I had an ex who I swear is in league with Satan sometimes who was a vegetarian. For one thing, vegetarian food to me is like going to an exotic ice cream shop and ordering vanilla. So one day she took me to an Ethiopian restaurant and ordered a bunch of meatless crap. It tasted like someone poured a bunch of flour into a plastic bag, added water, and shook it up then served it with different sauces.

Ten years later, I visited my buddy in Austin, Texas and he took us to an Ethiopian restaurant. It was yummy. Not my favorite, but still enjoyable. So maybe that first Ethiopian restaurant was a bad example.

I like Mexican food, but it doesn't like me. Every time I eat Mexican food, I regret it for days afterwards. So, no more Mexican food for me.

We all know the British can't cook, so I won't even go there. It's like saying William Shatner can't act or Britney Spears can't sing. No s*** Sherlock.

What about you? Fav cuisines? Cuisines you despise?


Blogger Laura said...

I'd have to say my list is as follows:

1) Italian (Southern over Northern, yes there's a difference)
2) Chinese (I could eat Potstickers forever)
3) Mexican (real mexican, like tampiquena (sp) not burritos as big as your head)
4) Cajun/Creole

After that it's not really ethnic favorites as much as type of dish. Seafood and steak are up there, as is pasta and pizza.

1) Sushi (as Dave Barry said once, I like my food cooked, not unconscious, and I don't like the rice vinegar)

2) Indian (I can't stand Indian food either. Most of it sounds good to me, but the mere smell of curry makes me nauseous. I've heard that's a sign I'm allergic to it.)

3) I'm not real thrilled about German food - too heavy.

Other than that, there's no specific cuisine I hate. However, I will not eat anything I cannot readilly identify or anything with tenticles.

6/06/2005 10:32 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I'm hungry now. My favs:
Mexican (authentic Tex Mex like my grandpa used to make)
Chinese (General's Chicken and egg rolls!)
Himalayan ( Butter Chicken...mmmm)
Italian ( I'm a sucker for carbs and I love a good, creamy saucy entree!)
I don't think there is any particular genre or cuisine that I despise. I don't like Japanese food all that much.

6/06/2005 10:35 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

I used to hate the Curry thing too, but now I'm a big fan. Weird how that happens. Same thing with Sushi. Good Sushi is awesome. Weird thing there is that I always spend almost exactly $25 every time I get Sushi and it doesn't matter what I order or how hungry I am...

So I guess this is my list:

Italian -- pretty good. It doesn't send me into raptures, but it seldom completely lets me down.
Thai -- good Thai is better than bad sex. That might not say much come to think of it, but I like Thai food even if it sometimes gives me horrendous headaches.
Mexican -- A step up from Italian.
Indian -- Good is good... bad is horrific.
Ethiopian -- You get to eat it with your hands and chunks of bread. That's gotta be worth some points.

6/06/2005 10:43 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

I love sushi and seem to eat a lot of Mexican, but I tend to like specific things rather than the whole gamut of any ethnic fare. My wife is Dutch, and if you want some tasty junk food I suggest spending time in Holland. Entrees are standard meat and potatoes, but they sure eat a lot of fat-filled snacks.

6/06/2005 11:38 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Asian is definitely first, Italian second. I could eat sushi, pho, and/or thai everyday of my life.

Never had Ethopian. The only Mexican I like are fajitas. And margaritas. Not a big fan of the enchilada or burrito.

My old roommate was Malaysian and she used to cook for a group of friends every 4th Wednesday. The smell was horrible. I've never had it, but Malaysian would be at the bottom of my list just for that reason. The smell would sit in my nose for days.

6/06/2005 1:29 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

I guess American food would top the list at our house. My family loves seafood, steak, chicken and turkey.
We live in a small town, so we don't have any ethnic restaurants.

Once a week I cook an ethnic food.
Asian is at the top of the list for hubby and me. I love Mongolian Beef!
Italian; we like mainly lasagna, pizza and spaghetti. Although our kids will eat anything on pasta.
We also like some Mexican foods.
I don't like curry, so I've never made any Indian dishes.
My husband's Grandma taught me how to make a fabulous German Potato Salad!
Other than this, we lead a pretty sheltered life when it comes to exciting food.

6/06/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

Ethiopian is the hotness.

Mexican is cool, Don't particularly care for Italian. Chinese is played out ... and Japanese is always too expensive?

6/06/2005 2:39 PM  
Blogger phil said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6/06/2005 2:41 PM  
Blogger phil said...

oops, sorry Zombieslayer. accidental deletion. So, to recap:
Looks like porn's swamping the Italian senate from all directions.
Regarding the grub, although i understand your disregard for most vegetarian cuisine, i must say a juicy falafel seems to satisfy my deep animal-flesh-desires (not the bestiality kind, since porno's on everyone's minds), minus the animal-flesh. just a thought.

6/06/2005 2:46 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

I love any food as long as it's stereotyped...

6/06/2005 2:47 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Hey ZS, good stuff! Love Italian the best, and like you Mexican makes me pretty sick. Agree re Indian. I like curry but only if I cook it. Know too much to like Chinese anymore, and my buds who have worked in Chinese restaurants won't eat in them either.

Any american fast food is great with me. Also adore Thai. Have had Ethopian also and agree with your first write up. Survivable but why bother.


p.s. my late out-laws were British. To punish me, they'd have us over for dinner. There is NOTHING they wouldn't boil the stars out of. Nothing.

6/06/2005 4:32 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Okay, I'm starved now.

#1 Italian. Spaghetti and meatballs, all the way home.

#2 sushi

#3 steak and baked potato (what culture is that?)

#4 Tex Mex, especially that coming from Don Pablos or Chuys.

#5 Chinese or Thai

6/06/2005 5:13 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I love Italian, sushi and Mexican (no burritos here either, the good stuff)!

6/06/2005 6:19 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

A perfectly cooked, medium-rare steak with a baked potato and some veggies tops my list. I suppose that's American.

Secondly, Serbian Food: Chicken Paprikash especially. My mom has made me fabulous Serbian meals all my life and I can't get enough.

Thrid: my best friend's Ecuadorian food. Marinated meats, lots of spices, lots of rice, and different mixtures of seasonings with vegetables that I would never expect. Delicious. And the fact that it's made by my lovely best friend helps, too.


No specific cuisine falls in my putrid category. Only individual foods: Radishes, beets, sauerkraut and anything served on Fear Factor.

6/06/2005 6:37 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

p.s. my late out-laws were British. To punish me, they'd have us over for dinner. There is NOTHING they wouldn't boil the stars out of. Nothing.


Next you'll be telling me that there's not enough food in Asia?

6/07/2005 3:25 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel - I'd have to agree with Bridget. Although never been to England, been to New Zealand and the food was absolutely awful.

Plus, if you'd open an English restaurant in America, it would go out of business within a few months. And no, Long John Silvers doesn't count.

Their beers however are excellent, especially Newcastle Brown Ale, which you could find on tap here in California at many fine bars.

Simply put, not all cuisines are equal. And not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but no, there's not enough food in Asia.

6/07/2005 9:06 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

You'd have to agree with her and yet you've never been to the UK to eat the food? Where, incidentally, we have the best restaurent in the world (The Duck at Bray) and another 3 in the top 10. Right...

And NZ has nothing to do with the UK apart from language so not quite seeing the thread there.

Finally, I think you'll find that many UK chefs are already cooking food in the finest eateries in the US.

Some times the stereotypes get so think and fast round here I can hardly breath.

6/08/2005 4:29 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel, I encourage free thought here. I discourage hiding back words that may offend anyone. The reason for stereotypes is because many of them are true. See, in America, we value freedom and if it offends someone, that's just too f***** bad.

My older brother has been to every continent except for Antartica. He's taught at the University of California system, Canberra (Australia), and Madrid (Spain). He's also hands down one of the top three cooks I've ever known, ever. And I used to make enough money to try out the finer restaurants. I'll take his opinion over yours. Sorry, that's how it is. If he says English food is bad, then I'll take his word for it. I love your heavy metal music, your Shakespeare, and your Monty Python. But I'm not in a hurry to try your food.

6/08/2005 12:56 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Oh, and one more thing. I know you will respond that I should make my own opinions. I'd counter that anyone can learn from their own mistakes. A truly wise person can learn from other people's mistakes.

If I see someone eat food then get diarrhea from it, I'll pass. I don't need to sample it for myself to see if I too with get diarrhea. I'm not implying that you'll get diarrhea from English food, but nobody raves up and down how great English food is. People will rave about how great a certain steakhouse is, a Thai restaurant, a Sushi place, a Cajun restaurant, etc. But I've yet to see a place that had English food in its name and the simple reason for it is in America, we open businesses to make money, not to go bankrupt.

6/08/2005 1:03 PM  
Anonymous dave said...

to daniel hoffman-gill:

i was in england for 10 days. not once did i have a good meal. no wait, i take that back. the bread and jam was really good. other than that, the food sucked.

i'm not saying that to bag on your country. in fact, i really enjoyed my time there.

but i guess if you go to a gourmet restaurant in any country, you'll probably find something good on the menu. however, we're not talking about posh $150 meals. we're talking about regional cuisine.

and as far as the regional cuisine of england goes, bangers & mash, jellied eels, and bubble & squeak just don't sound appetizing.

here's an example of a traditional english breakfast dish:

Black Pudding

It goes without saying that to make black pudding you need blood. This is not for the faint hearted and under current regulations is difficult. Of course, if you have your own pigs the abattoir will allow you to collect the blood together with the rest of the pig.

Those of us who do not live the River Cottage dream will have more problems. You may find a butcher who makes his own puddings and is prepared to sell you some. Abattoirs used to be happy to sell a bucket of blood for a few pounds (very good for tomatoes apparently) but are now most seem unable to do this.

The alternative is to buy dried blood and re-hydrate this with water. Trade supplies such as Scobies Direct (link to ) can supply this.

Assuming you have the blood a basic recipe is.

2 litres blood
Casings, beef runners of large hog casings (optional)
3 onions, finely chopped
1 kg of suet or diced pork fat (back fat or bacon fat)
500ml double cream
500g oatmeal, soaked overnight in water)
500g barley, boiled in water for 30 minutes
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon mixed herbs or ground coriander
1 teaspoon black pepper or cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon ground mace

the proof is in the puddin', englishman.

6/08/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Zombie and Dave you're still chucking stereotypes at me re: UK food.

I'd stay away from stereotypes, they're lazy and enable people to pass easy judgement on the victim of the stereotype which also don't allow anyone to break the mold without being patronised.

I'd never wade in and say that all Americans are fat, arrogant fucks who have no respect for the environment, International law, a failure to grasp the wider International picture, are right-wing Cristians who demonise Muslims, never leave their country and believe Saddam actually had something to do 9/11.

You gets me blood?


6/08/2005 2:46 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel - Totally disagree. I use stereotypes all the time and it's far from
being lazy. It's because I live in the real world. If I were to hire an accountant, I'd want one who dresses in a decent suit and has a nice,
conservative car like a Saturn or a Ford Taurus. Then I know he knows his numbers.
As for English food, I still am in no hurry to try it. Sure, you might have some wonderful chefs, but that's on an individual basis. Huge difference between individuals and groups.
As for Americans, Texans usually drive big cars and own lots of guns. There are lots of old people in Florida. New Yorkers tend to be rude. Californians are flakes. People from New Jersey talk funny. Lots of gays live in San Francisco. In Los Angeles, folks are obsessed with money and their status.
Bostonians can't drive and take their sports just a little too seriously. Houston is polluted. People in Dallas also can't drive.
But there are exceptions to every rule and as long as you understand that, that's cool. If you're offended by anything I just said, you're too thin-skinned.

As for Dave, we've eaten over 100 lunches together. If he says something's bad, I'll take his word for it.

6/08/2005 3:04 PM  
Anonymous dave said...

mr. gill,

you're right, stereotypes are bad. i used to think english people were smart and cool because of their accent. but you're a retard. so that can't be right.

aside from that, i don't understand why you think we're stereotyping you. it's not like i made that recipe up. i got it here:

notice the uk link? these are recipes from your ancestors. it's YOUR problem, not ours, if you don't want to claim your english culinary heritage.

i suggest you go to one of the three good 5-star restaurants you have in west end, have a £6 cup of coffee, and think about reclaiming your true english culture. it might be bad, but hey, at least it's your own.

and if you decide otherwise, i'm sure you would fit in with the other retards in france.

6/08/2005 3:37 PM  
Anonymous dave said...

sorry, mr. gill.

here's the proper link, for your reference:

6/08/2005 3:38 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Dave, thanks for calling me a retard, you're a clever boy. Do I really have to repeat myself that the UK you're describing and using crappy web sources for are stereotypes and not a genuine reflection of the modern UK?

Zombie Lord, we have to agree to disagree, I'm never satisfied with stereotypes, I think we can higher than that.

6/08/2005 4:40 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

I eat it all.

Except eggplant... is that a cuisine?

6/08/2005 5:16 PM  
Anonymous dave said...

alright, danny boy, here's a link you might find helpful:

i'm sure you won't have trouble finding an apartment that welcomes retards like yourself. and getting there should be easy. i think they have a section for special needs people on the chunnel.

viva la france! they got another retard! woo-hoo!

6/08/2005 5:17 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Way to go Zombie!! Loved the "learning from other people's mistakes lines".
You're cool under fire!
You're so right about stereotypes. I thought all Californians were flakes and anti-hunting, until I met you.

6/08/2005 7:27 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Tshsmom, thanks. Californians are flakes and anti-hunting. I'm a mid-Westerner who moved to California. I won't be here when the zombies come though because everyone here is too unreliable. Gorgeous place though. Wish they'd start doing something about the immigration problem though.

6/08/2005 9:09 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

A problem occurred in the Army cookhouse in Hong Kong.A senior officer ordered his SGT to instruct his men not to abuse the Chinese cook and apoligize to the cook and inform the cook it will not happen again. This having been sorted out, Cookie Boy replied "Good, I no more pee in the soup"

Having lived with my all English Family in Singapore for two years and Hong Kong for over two years; a few years back, whenever possible we avoided the local food and kept to a 95% western style diet. Boring you may say, but with children involved, it prevented coming in contact with illness which others had become afflicted with. The unsanitary conditions were even less favorable then as they are even now; which could stand a bit of updating. dodgy foreign foods ? "No thanks".

6/09/2005 3:17 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Oh Dave you daft bigot, first you use 'retard' again to further show off your vocab and then you dis-respect the French. You're really helping me defeat my stereotype of the toddler nation that grew too fast too young and is out of control.

Let me guess, you voted for Bush?

Infact with people saying things like 'dodgy foreign food' and 'Wish they'd start doing something about the immigration problem though.' I reckon there's a few more here...

6/09/2005 1:33 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel, seriously, you live in a fairy tale world of political correctness. That PC thing I wrote wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at some dumb a** that I would have beaten the crap out of in Seattle had it not been that
he was very high up in the company. However, it can apply to you.
The French get what they deserve. They're snooty and snobby. Dave and I had to deal with them every week when they'd come to Santa Barbara. Their women however are exceptionally friendly and warm. I wonder why they put up with their men.
As for you, we all know you hate America and Americans. Have the balls to say it. I won't hate you for it either. I'd actually respect you more for saying what's on your mind instead of being a PC wuss.
I'm trying to exchange ideas here, and ideas cannot be exchanged if people hide behind political correctness. PCism is a lie that shelters people with thin skin, who can't handle the truth because the truth scares them.

And yes, we do have an immigration problem. PC people have their head so far up their a**** that they can't see it, but most rational people see it.

As for Dave, he's one of the warmest, friendliest, most sincere people I've ever met. If he doesn't like someone, they really have to go out of their way to piss him off. Excellent bass player too.
Dang, I love America and Americans.

6/09/2005 2:09 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - I've had parasites twice, once from Asia and once from Mexico. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So I'd agree with you for turning down dodgy foreign foods. I like having intestinal control too much.

6/09/2005 2:17 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Daniel, the gentleman that used the "dodgy" term, is an Englishman currently living in Australia. So maybe it's you that have an anti-American stereotype problem!

6/09/2005 3:27 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

*deep breath*

PC world is a figment of the conservative mind, I live in London where I have all the urban reality I need. I've cut my teeth in some of the hardest environments you can imagine, prisons, crack houses, homeless shelters. I love truth, born and raised on it, it's you that's using fictious terms and lives under a fictious president (sorry couldn't resist). It hasn't made me hateful like you it seems. You robsession with PC is keeping you wonderfully distracted from issues that really matter.

I'm not PC I'm just a decent human who has spent a lot of time helping others.

And yes, you'd love it if I hated America because then this would fit in with your stereotype but I don't. I love it, been many times, even drove across it from SF to Boston taking in all that's in between.

Mighty fine Nation you got just a shame about the people that run it and some of the people who call it home.

Dave may be nice but he uses the word retard as an insult and I work with children with learning difficulties who have to put up with that shit all day long and stand tall. So not funny or grown up.

May I point out on your immigration tip that your Nation is one big immigrant and that it's always easy to blame the poor guy trying to get in rather than those that already have their feet up at home.

6/09/2005 3:45 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Daniel - I value open space. If we keep letting everyone in, we won't have open space. As I've said many times, I do not want America to look like India or Bangladesh.

Now, you may have been to America, but have you worked in a large American corporation or gone to our schools and colleges where we've had PC rammed down our throats constantly? If you haven't, you wouldn't understand.
PC isn't something made up by some scary right-wing conspiracy. It has more to do with the squeeky wheel getting the grease. People will whine and whine until they get their way like a bunch of dang babies, instead of working for it like I had to do, or like the good people on this blog.
My assignment for you is to get a job with a large American corporation. Five years later, come back to me and we'll discuss how much we hate PCism together over a nice room temperature pitcher of Newcastle.

6/09/2005 4:21 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Hello Fellow English person(male)(end of PC)Daniel Hoffmann-Gill, What a delightful middle/class name you have. You take the bait too readily and Mann you Sure do get into a Huff.
There is a cliche used in Australia, 'Pommie Whinger' I am terribly sorry but it applies to you sport, having an unmistakeable accent I get clobbered with it occasionally but Retaliate with 'Bludgerygalah'. I have dual Brit/Aus citizenship.
I am not young and have an expired U B Date, travelled to over 80 different countries some revisited.
I have experienced many different cuisines, some I had the option of choice, some a 'lump it or like it' situation, in which case you either eat or dont.
After a good night out on the Grog and a rumbling tummy any form of sustenance is welcome.
Myself, A Brit born during the depression, I am fully aware of the advances made to improve what and the way we eat.
I recall chicken at xmas; Probably rustelled,an egg once in a blue moon, dripping on toast, mystery soup and dumplings and the vision of middle class people enjoying Roast beef, potatoes yorkshire pud ,vegies and gravy.
From age 5 I was institutionalised in D B H, the food was dreadful.
Pressed into the Navy At 15 point five years, the chow was an improvement.
Some of my dislikes are: Indian food,jellied eels,black pudding,semi-dead fish, oh and Pigs trotters and chitterlings.
For din dins we are having, real beef sausages sprinkled with onion and bacon pieces, fried spuds and mushrooms, green peas and beans and carrots, and tonight me and er Will be out to the club ,Bye.

6/10/2005 12:26 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

The most evil smelling fruit/vege, is the Durian, it was said that, an Englishman in Singapore committed suicide rather than eat it.
Another English man savoured the taste of sauted post bullfight fresh bull testes . On the third night when ordering this gourmet offering, he complained that the size and taste was different, The Chef explained, "Senor today all the Bulls Win".

6/10/2005 1:35 AM  
Blogger dave said...

zombie, you're too kind.

i don't understand that daniel hoffman-gill guy. we were having a friendly converstaion about how much english cuisine sucked and then he had to go all pseudo-political on us. i mean, who knows, danny could be a nice guy. in fact, danny, let's put our differences aside for a second. i apologize for calling you a retard.

that still doesn't change the fact that english food is diabolical.

and it's okay if you bash me and zombie, but you had better watch how you talk to the ladies on this board.

6/10/2005 12:06 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Dave: Please be critical if you wish. My beatiful lady Rosemary myself and two sons will be enjoying Roast Lamb; coated with mustard & rosemary,Before being cooked, roast potatoes,roast onions, Choice of veg Broccoli, Brussells Sprouts, B/n Pumpkin, Steamed fresh carrots, sliced beans and minted peas, with R B G and Mint Sauce.
Desert, Apple Pie and FRENCH vanilla ice cream,"RIGHT NOW" YUM.
Boringly English but it makes a change.

6/10/2005 11:03 PM  

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