Which Operating System should a zombieslayer use?

I had people ask me the other day which OS a zombieslayer should use.
I simply reply, anything not made by Microsoft. Why?

Well, let's just say you're in a situation where your best friend is
online chatting, and suddenly she spots a zombie outside of her window.
No problem. She types "brb" in her instant messenger client, goes and
locks the doors, and grabs her shotgun. She's just about to alert you
when you get the Blue Screen of Death. Or worse, you get a virus.

Well, so much for being alerted through your instant messenger client.
Now she has to call you on the phone. You see how dangerous it is to
use Windoze?

Every other company has already switched to some form of Unix. Apple
has with their OS X. Novell is using Linux. Everyone but Microsoft.
Why? Because Bill Gates hates to admit he's wrong. He's one of those
stupid people like Columbus who despite everyone telling him he's wrong
will swear up and down he's right. Columbus went to his grave thinking
he found a new route to Asia. That's why we call North and South
America North and South America instead of North and South Columbia.
Yes, we named the continents after Amerigo Vespucci.

See, Bill Gates has that attitude. And that is the attitude you don't
want when dispatching zombies. Instead of closing the gate, he'd argue
left and right that it wasn't him who left the gate open. And he'd
argue left and right that Unix isn't superior to his stupid operating
system, instead of just abandoning it in favor of Unix like Steve Jobs
of Apple has with the Mac OS.

Oh, by the way, if you're still using Internet Exploder,
try this instead.
Firefox is not only cool, it has tab browsing, and popup blocking built in. It's also more secure.

When someone finds a security hole in Firefox, it gets fixed right away and
a patch gets released ASAP. When someone finds a security hole in IE,
good luck getting a patch within the next month. I like that attitude.
Firefox people, you're welcome in my anti-zombie compound anytime. As
I've said in a previous post, Microsoft employees and former employees
aren't. And don't try to sneak in either, because I could tell. They
all have that look.