Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Celebrities you want to see devoured by zombies

All right. Let's be totally un-PC. No holding back. Let it all out. Since you're reading this site, you're obviously cool enough to be let into my anti-zombie compound when the big zombie plague comes. I've already had my list of the types of people I'd let in and the types of people I'd let the zombies feast on.

Now, your turn to be specific. Who would you enjoy seeing the zombies devour the most? High on my list - Paris Hilton, J. Lo, Rosie O'Donnell, former members of New Kids on the Block (now five old kids getting eaten by zombies). I'm sure there are others, but I'm about to go to sleep and my brain's done for the night. Come on, baby. Dish it.

One rule - no political figures. Just straight up celebs.


Blogger Vest said...

I would enjoy knowing that fat juicy Oprah had been devoured by Zombies, then Spewed down her gold plated Dunny (Can).
After Oprah for the warm up, gather up all past participants on the Jerry Springer show, to be Din Dins, for marauding munching masticating Zombies, then be spewed out as manure in Rural areas in need of a bit of muck spreading.
A grand Finale Pacific Island style 'Long Pig' BBQ with J Springer providing the tasty crackling for ravenous Zombies.Enjoy.

5/17/2005 5:33 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

Hmmm, oh this is a good one. Top of my list would be the Olsen Twins. About ten years ago I wanted to start a website about 'Freeing the Olsen Twins from bondage' but now I see they like it too much. I am with ya on Paris Hilton, and lets not forget Nick and Jessica, oooo how about Brittany Spears, can't leave her unmangled. I would say Michael Jackson, but I think he may be the zombie leader. And ALL teh boy bands across the world, bon apetite!

5/17/2005 8:15 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest, how did I forget Oprah? If anyone's the leader of the zombie movement, it would be her. Geez, she says she likes a book and it instantly becomes a best-seller. She chooses a new diet and a quarter of the American housewifes follow suit. She's like an evil version of the Pied Piper. As for Springer, I cringe when he's on, knowing that foreigners are going to think Americans are like the trash on his show.

Clothosfate, MJ has been dead for over 10 years now. That's a white woman who's been taking his place. It's just somebody's idea of a bad joke. As for the Olson Twins, their 15 minutes is up. I don't think the zombies will be able to get much meat off of them though. Poor zombies. I'm hoping Nick and Jessica's 15 minutes will be up soon, as Britney's needs to be and every one of those boy bands in existence as well. I'm almost looking forward to the zombie plague, just to see the look on all their faces when we don't let them in.

5/17/2005 1:55 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Other than the ones you mentioned, which I agree by the way, I would have to say (in random order):
Brittany Spears
The Spice Girls (all of them)
The Keebler Elves
Ronald McDonald
Michael Jackson
the little Wal-Mart smiley-face guy
Brittany Spears
Elijah Wood
Bert AND Ernie
Calista Flockhart
Brittany Spears
Angelina Jolie
the Pillsbury Dough-Boy
Leonardo DiCaprio
Enrique Iglesias
Did I mention Brittany Spears?

5/17/2005 2:11 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Martha Stewart? I forgot Martha Stewart. I hope my Mom's not reading this blog because she loves Martha Stewart. Sorry Mom, would rather have drapes that don't match than let her in my anti-zombie compound.

5/17/2005 3:46 PM  
Anonymous Moni said...

Regis Philbin really grates on my last nerve, so yeah there would be a certain amount of pleasure in seeing him eaten by a zombie. BTW nice to meet you Zombieslayer. Nice blog.

5/17/2005 4:40 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Paris is #1 (I keep wishing that she would get in a bad car crash, and suffer 3rd degree burns, and that the fire would destroy her face)

J. Lo is #2 (same car crash fantasy)

a tie for #3 would be Lindsey Lohan and Hillary Duff, because they're twins

#4 would be Kate Holmes because I have never liked her or really gotten why she was a big deal, (and now she is dating Tom Cruise so she's everywhere)

#5 would be Jennifer Love Hewitt and Tara Reid, because they have no talent, and are the same person in my mind

#6 would be Aaron and Nick Carter because they're pretty much twins too

#7 Star Jones from The View (lots of good meat there)

#8 the entire cast of the TV show Desperate Housewives

#9 Sarah Jessica Parker (I'm sorry honey, but you aren't pretty)

#10 Anthony Fedorov and Constantine from American Idol

5/17/2005 6:08 PM  
Blogger Jasonsan said...

Okay, maybe a little out dated, but I hate Will Smith, can he please be left for the zombie feast?

5/17/2005 6:16 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Onced loved as the sweet natured girly in 'The Buds of May'(Brit 80s prod), D grade Welsh actress Catherine Zeta Jones, probably might provide desert like prunes and sour cream and her aged ugly hubbie would have to be boiled a fair bit with lashings of garlic and exotic herbs, to get the taste of his corpse to the acceptable level of "That tastes like shite"
"Hey Oprah". Read, 'Waving goodbye to a thousand flies'.

5/17/2005 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enimem, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Ben Affleck, Rosie O' Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ellen DeGeneris, Paris Hilton, Carrottop, J. Lo, Jennifer Love Hewitt

5/17/2005 8:31 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Hi Heather, pretty sweetie, lovely face nice hair.
Be careful you gorgeous thing, you may become a celeb yourself, I would not like to see you eaten--er hang about, I might like to eat you myself.

5/17/2005 10:13 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

this is going to be fun for me.
Martin Sheen
Jenneane Garoflo (sp?)
50 Cent
Michael Jackson
Rosie O' Donnell
Ellen DeGeneres
Paris Hilton (but she should have sex with the zombies first)
The West Wing cast
Anyone who has stepped foot on two and a half men set
Jim Beluschi (your NOT FUNNY!!!!)
basically anyone who thinks that their high school education gives them a right to be commentaries on how our government is run.

5/18/2005 6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zombies must eat:
Rush Limbaugh
Robert Novak
The entire republican senate except McCain whose brain was damaged during incarceration and doesnt reallize he is a democrat.
many more to follow.
oh what the hell how about all cardinals and bishops and ayatollas.

5/18/2005 7:07 AM  
Blogger McFox said...

Dr Phil

No need to throw the Olsen twins to the Zombies. I'd be perfectly happy to munch on them myself :)

5/18/2005 7:15 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Thanks Vest, for the offer to snack, but I'm married and don't plan on becoming a celeb anytime soon.

5/18/2005 9:24 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Urgh. I forgot Tom Arnold. That guy has no talent and no charisma. What in the world is he
doing hosting a sports show?

5/18/2005 10:02 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

Only one of these names would I let off the hook, provided that. she pleaded with me.
The remainder are boring celeb and deviate names associated with real fitcuwks. Cyrus, Samuel, Jennifer,
Sarah, Benjamin, Larry, Josh, Issaac, Rebecca, Rachael, Aloyisious, Angelina, HEATHER, Lazarus, Cedric, Cecil, Cyril, Bertie, Basil, Esra, Shane, Wayne Dwayne.Hob gobbling Zombies; Enjoy.

5/19/2005 2:41 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Julia Roberts
Paris Hilton
Pamela Anderson
Ben Affleck
Colin Ferrill
Russell Crow
Britney Spears
Carmen Electra
Hillary Duff
Jessica Simpson and her Hubby
Jessica Simpson's wannabe rocker sister too

5/20/2005 10:26 AM  
Anonymous Dagenham dave from Sydney Australia said...

I would like to hear that the whole filthy bunch of morons operating on the blogsite 'The Spin Starts Here'based in Melbourne Australia, had their arms and legs also their tongues removed and be left to die slowly being eaten by scabby yellow eyed pox giving zombie rats,on their local garbage tip.I really mean it, that mob are supervile.

5/21/2005 2:20 PM  
Anonymous tony w (melbourne) said...

'The spin startshere',repugnant and disturbing,'Daily Telegraph'.
'Extraordinary vicious'the West Australian.
'Sicko's'The daily Star.
'Foul mouthed and offensive'The Age.
It's like having today tonight on the internet. Discourteous ranting from a one legged nineteen year old fat lesbian slag from Alphinton, and failed Aus Senate candidate; foul loudmouth Jess Healy. I really hate those F&*^%$^*#@#&*ts. this poisonous mob need the max attention from the zombies

5/22/2005 2:29 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

Checking around it seems Dagenham Dave exists only in song and London folk lore, The other prick Tony W, could be the geezer who dabbles in; After Death Communication Research. I am deeply concerned that, these pair of anonymous ghouls may be the fifth column or advance party preparing for the imminent invasion of green skinned lady snackers and large lipped long hair knob wafflers.Watch out sport they will be cumming.

5/23/2005 8:09 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Coming late to the party... I will offer to trade Tom Cruise to the Zombies in exchange for Katie Holmes, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Jessica Parker who earlier were callously tossed to meet their demise.

They may stay in my Zombie-proof fortress which is surely less luxurious than Zombieslayer's, but it would be better than being eaten by the undead.

Also, I would trade Simon Cowell and a truckload of nameless politicians for the return of Terri Hatcher in an uneaten state...

5/23/2005 12:17 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Sorry Shawn. Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Love Hewitt are already infected and will need to be taken out. It's for your safety, of course.
But if you want to throw Tom Cruise out there with the zombies, I certainly won't stop you.

5/23/2005 1:39 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Ah, well... you can't save everybody.

I sort of feel bad for Matthew Broderick, but since he did 'The Music Man' I'm pretty sure he's already a Zombie anyway. I guess there's no saving Ferris...

5/23/2005 3:48 PM  
Blogger neal said...


Aside from everyone already mentioned by you esteemed folks I would add:

Anyone who is featured on the television shows Access Hollywood And Extra. Those shows are showcases of the entire elite celebrities and they all should be fed slowly to the zombies.

12/03/2005 7:36 AM  

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