Saturday, June 18, 2005

Stupidly rich

You hear all the time people saying how hard-core they are by saying "I know this one guy who killed someone," or "I know this one guy who was like the toughest street fighter in Brooklyn." Yeah, whatever. But have they ever met someone who's richer than
Paris Hilton?

I've always wondered, what would it be like to be stupid rich, i.e., so rich that even someone as stupid as Paris Hilton can't go through it and would die still being filthy rich? Well, I met someone stupid rich. His name is...let's call him Leroy.

Now, every time but once, I've seen Leroy with a big smile on his face. I'd be smiling all the time too if I never had to worry about money.

Leroy didn't work. Actually, I had no idea what Leroy did. An hour before a soccer game or a beach volleyball game, we'd call Leroy and he'd just show up, dressed up for whatever we were playing with his signature smile. A few times he didn't make the games, like when he had to pack to see what Europe was like.

So we didn't see Leroy for several months. He had a good time in Europe. He liked America better though so he was happy to be back.

He went through Police Academy once. I asked him if he wanted to be a cop. He said no, he couldn't be a cop. I asked him why, and that was the only time I'd seen him not smile. He said it's because if he got his hands on a child abuser, he'd probably kill them, so he couldn't be a cop.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, Leroy was not an abused child. It's more a sign of purity. Leroy hated to see something he sees as pure and good get abused.

The Zombieslayers moved far far away and I haven't seen Leroy in several years. Last I heard is Leroy Sr just had a new $30 million home built. I can't imagine a home worth $30 million, considering I already know I could get my anti-zombie compound done for less than a tenth of that including land. And my anti-zombie compound is gonna be da bomb. Fo' shizzle fool.

So, do you know any stupidly rich trust fund babies like Leroys? Care to share stories?


Blogger Bridget Jones said...

never mind babes, would Leroy adopt me?


6/18/2005 2:37 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

Seriously, my hisband's best firend invented the message board. Too bad he doesn't share the wealth.

6/18/2005 4:35 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

I know a girl whose dad owns a large telecom industry. But you know what, she's very cool. You would never guess she is so loaded, she doesn't dress super nice, just like a normal teenage girl would. I didn't even put two and two together until midway through my sophomore year. Not all trust fund babies are assholes, but I would bet that a vast majority of them are.

6/18/2005 9:03 PM  
Anonymous leroy said...

nah Brig, wrong side of50

6/19/2005 12:40 AM  
Anonymous leroy said...

nah Brig, wrong side of50

6/19/2005 12:41 AM  
Anonymous leroy said...

nah Brig, wrong side of50

6/19/2005 12:43 AM  
Blogger savage said...

Leroy has alot of time on his hands.
"I wonder what it would be like to be President; Dad? Could ya hook me up?"

6/19/2005 5:47 AM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

I have only met one 'leroy'.

An INSANELY rich (and very hot) I-can't-even-desribe-it girl.

To her credit, she is a great person in every aspect of the word. You would never think she is (dad) THAT rich.

Already taken :(

6/19/2005 8:03 PM  
Blogger Mokuyobi said...

what the hell? Why do rich people just wander about with the normal folk playing soccer? Shouldn't they be in their own little fenced in compound wearing polo shirts? forget stupidly rich, I only know ONE person who's middle class....everyone else I meet is poor!

6/20/2005 5:10 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Mokuyubi - I think it's because not enough rich people play soccer and volleyball and hang out in bars with normal people. He probably feels he's missing out on how normal people have fun.

Cultureshocked & Ben - they have no reason to be pretentious. They have nothing to prove. That's probably why your friends and mine are nice people.

Savage - Hmm...that's actually pretty funny.

Leroy - with all that money, you'd think you'd be able to figure out the internet.

PC - Wow. That is a huge invention. The thing about sharing the wealth is you're probably in a long line. Relatives get first dibs.

Bridget - Well, it's not Leroy who's rich. It's his parents. But the trust fund is enough he'll never have to worry about money again. So would they want another kid? I think you'll have to wait in line.

6/20/2005 9:34 AM  
Blogger savage said...

Yeah, I was being funny.
Still laffin'

6/21/2005 3:42 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Z: I was a trust fund baby once. I spent my childhood flying on private jets, spending my summers at my dad's beach house, buying whatever I wanted. He wasn't "Hilton" rich, but he WAS a millionaire. Still is. He used money to control me like he controls his employees. He cut me off without a second thought when I decided to marry my husband. And I'll have to say, it was extremely hard going from being a rich spoiled girl to 0.7 seconds. But I learned some valuable lessons and my husband and I worked our asses off and now we are doing very well for ourselves. And I love it because I EARNED it. Even if he came back today and said, "I'm giving you your trust fund back", I wouldn't take it.

6/21/2005 8:48 AM  

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