Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The greatest game ever - Spoons

Okay, I have a confession to make. When you're playing, don't just try to get four of a kind. Your odds for getting four of a kind are against you. It's better to keep one eye on the spoons and one eye on your cards. That's exactly why Savage lost, he kept trying to get four of a kind instead of watching the spoons.

Whoops, lost ya. You're thinking, "what in the blazes is The Zombieslayer talking about?"

Spoons, baby! The greatest game ever invented. Greater than chess, greater than checkers, greater than Monopoly, greater than even poker.

If you don't know how to play, I'll tell you. You need at least four people, but five is more ideal and eight is too many. So ideally, you want from five to seven players. Let's just say there are five players. So you take a deck of cards and take only the Aces, Kings, Queens, Jacks, and tens from the deck. The rest of the cards you set aside.

Now take four spoons. You want to be short one spoon so since there are five players, there should only be four spoons.

You shuffle the cards and deal them out. Anyone who goes to pick up their cards before all of them are dealt gets swatted hard on the back of the hand. Naughty naughty. They must learn to wait until the dealer finishes dealing.

After all the cards are dealt, you pass one card face down to your left. You keep passing one card to your left until someone gets four of a kind. When someone gets four of a kind, they grab a spoon. If you see someone grab a spoon, you better grab one before everyone else does. Whomever fails to grab a spoon gets a letter by their nickname. Real names are forbidden.

When someone gets enough letters to form the word, they lose and they shall be punished according to the punishment you decided before the game began. You could choose any word, depending on how long you want the game to be. "Loser" would be a short game. "Buttmunch" a longer game (yes, the Zombieslayers liked the Beavis and Butt-head show).

We have had a multitude of punishments in the past. We have done everything from the loser had to wear two different colored shoes to school the next day to the loser had to ding-dong doorbell ditch the scariest house on the block. When we got older, we played spoons as a truth or dare game and in college, it became a drinking game. I have heard some swingers play it as a swinging game (no, the Zombieslayers are not swingers, I'm just repeating what I heard).

There have been spoon injuries. One of my cousins had long nails and accidently cut Papa Zombieslayer's best friend with them while they both reached for the same spoon. To this day, there is blood on that card deck. Ah, the fond memories.

Being ticklish is not a good thing. You will have moments when fighting for a spoon takes more than thirty seconds. Everyone else will back off, knowing to give them space. One will resort to tickling the other until the other releases the spoon.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu comes in very handy in spoons. Barring you're not being tickled, you will know which way the arm doesn't bend and that knowledge comes in very handy when trying to get your friend to relinquish his hold on the spoon you are both fighting for.

The Zombieslayer has never lost. Ever. My secret? Keep an eye on the spoons. Your hand doesn't matter. Odds are someone will get four of a kind before you do anyways. It's simple statistics.

So when the zombies come and the compound is secure; when our supplies are fine, our weapons are at the ready, and it's someone else's turn to be the sentry, our biggest enemy will be boredom. Anyone up for a game of spoons? The word is "stinky" and the punishment is one song of karaoke, winner's choice.


Blogger tshsmom said...

We used to play this when I was a kid. Only we used pennies, they're WAY harder to grab, and we used all the cards in the deck. We didn't have punishments either. You guys are sadistic! I'd better brush up my skills before we're all stuck in the compound.
You're right, ZS, you're better off watching the spoons.

6/29/2005 11:51 AM  
Blogger Levi Nunnink said...

Ah, spoons. A truely great game.

I've seen some wicked wrestling matches over the last spoon...

6/29/2005 12:16 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

Can you cheat and grab the spoon before you get 4 of a kind? What happens to you if you do that?

If that's prohibited, can you fake someone out, reach for a spoon (but don't touch it) and in their panic cause others to grab a spoon and touch it without having 4 of a kind?

6/29/2005 2:13 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

ZS, I have played that game with my friends and I sucked at it, I didn't know it was this popular. Funny stories though.

6/29/2005 3:46 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Tshsmom - yeah, I think we were slightly sadistic as kids. ;)

Levi - Ah, you're an experienced one. You have encountered the wrestling matches.

Cultureshocked - Depends on house rules. We usually just give someone a letter if they grab first without having four of a kind. By our rules, the first person to grab has to show after the spoons have been all grabbed. As for fakes, we allow it, some houses don't. Needless to say though, fakers don't win popularity points.

Ben - Care to share your stories?

6/29/2005 4:34 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Hehe! I would always win.

6/29/2005 4:56 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

WOW what a KEWL game. Never heard of it before and am really glad I did. Thanks ZS, this is great!


6/29/2005 5:30 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

ZS, in time my friend.

6/29/2005 5:40 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Wow, I've never heard of this. It sounds very cool. We always play Spades. Sounds like we're missing out. I'm going to copy this post so I can remember how to play next time we have a party. Cool!

6/29/2005 6:04 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Ah yes, Spoons... a fine metaphor for life if you ask me. That and Dodgeball... I always liked playing spoons. I think I learned it at a girlfriend's family's house in high school.

Can't claim an undefeated record that's for sure. However, the game of Risk... that's where I always excelled. I always loved capturing Kamchatka... I wonder if that says anything?

By the way, Zombies hate playing Spoons. They have slow reflexes you now. That and they're always losing hands and arms while wrestling for the last spoon...

6/29/2005 6:42 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

Hey! How did you fix your template. I'm having issues with mine.

6/29/2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

PC - I noticed Ben was having a problem with his. I never had a problem, so I didn't do anything. I think it's a problem on Blogger's end.

Shawn - I loved Dodgeball too. But Risk, I was never good at. I'd get frustrated and overextend myself then get wiped out. I don't think I'd be a good general. As for zombies losing parts, yes, and of course you wouldn't want to play spoons with lepers either. That can get ugly.

Melanie - Love spades too. That and Pinoccle, which we played without meld. Hearts was the other card game I liked.

Ben - all right. I'll look forward to hearing them.

Bridget - You should get to practicing. If you don't, you might find yourself singing karaoke. ;)

Red - well, if you win, you'll be the one choosing the songs for others to sing.

6/29/2005 9:46 PM  

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