Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Major Stereotypes

This post is for Ben. He just started college and what better way to send him off to college than give him dozens of stereotypes?

My college years were weird. I started off in Psychology. As someone who likes to get out and meet people, I went to a lot of Psychology major parties and found them to be quite, dull. They all spent time trying to analyze what other people really meant and not enough time letting loose and enjoying themselves. Of all people, Psychology majors are the least likely to be happy.

I only spent one year as a Psych major and finished up college with a degree in History. Sure it didn't make me very economically viable at first, but I loved it. Of all the majors, I think History and English are the most fascinating. Plus English was the most likely major to have a Hot Professor to learn from. That's a nice bonus.

History though was 99% men. We had only a handful of females in my senior year and of course every one of them had a boyfriend (and for some strange reason, not one of them dated a fellow History major. So I got no loving from History girls).

History does have its stereotypes. There are three main types of History majors:
1) Someone going on to a Law degree,
2) Someone going on to a degree in something else,
3) Someone who is about to panic about the future immediately after graduation.

As you can see, nobody seems to do anything with their History degree, other than occasionally you will see someone on Jeopardy. That $14,318 they won on Jeopardy will probably be the bulk of their income for the year though.

I went back to college several years later in Computer Science. It was a big building with the Engineering students too. Man, talk about boring people. Here's one tip. If you want to get a chance for some action with someone from the opposite sex and you're either a Comp Sci or Engineering major, do two things:
1) Ditch every other Comp Sci/Engineering friend you have. They scare the opposite sex away. Trust me. "I can program in Java, C/C++, Perl, Unix Shell Scripting, and even some Fortran" is not a good pickup line.
2) Lie. To the opposite sex, you are anything but a Comp Sci/Engineering major. Not only do Comp Sci/Engineering students not get dates, there's a very good reason they don't get dates. Smelling like a European for one usually does not attract the opposite sex.

And not only that, in the corporate world, the Engineering staff stands out at the company party. They're the ones staring at their feet the whole time and leaving before the fun begins.

And now for stereotypes on other majors

Art majors are more often than not pretentious snobs. And I just love how "non-conformists" all look the same. You ever notice that? Not only that, of all majors, Art majors are the easiest to offend.

Economics or finance majors will go on to be your boss, usually useless idiots who do no real work but make twice your salary because they know how to tell you what to do. So whatever you do, Ben, wear a mask when you beat one of them up because that guy you just beat up might be your boss in ten years.

Nursing majors were the most likely to take their tops off at a party.

Education majors had wonderful hearts, but very rarely had anything upstairs.

I felt sorry for anthropology majors, so I won't go off on them here. They were usually such nice people, but I think that major was the #1 major for welfare recipients with college degrees.

Biology majors are only in college because their parents told them they had to go to college. They're also the most likely to complain about their major being too "haaard." I've taken biology classes. Believe me, that major is anything but hard.

Physical Education majors are the source of the "dumb blonde" stereotype. If you round up everyone with a Physical Education degree and shoot them, the average I.Q. of blondes around the world would instantly shoot up 50 points.

For some strange reason, Philosophy majors get all the babes. I've never understood this, but Dave explained it's because they know what they're talking about and they're confident. Sad thing is, they also excel in the corporate world as well. I should have majored in Philosophy, but I dropped my Philosophy class after spending several weeks discussing that stupid cave.

Math majors are all weird. They're usually goofy looking too.

So everyone, give Ben a hand. Tell him your major and what were "your people" like? If it was one of those mentioned above, were they as goofy as how they were in the colleges I went to? And of course if you didn't go to college, we're always game for an off color joke.


Blogger Mybrid said...

You missed out ARCHITECTURE! The coolest school of all. Where all the fun happens on a daily basis. Cool imaginative guys and gals getting together to create something really outrageous that could possibly get them kicked out of school. Many sleepless nights in studio with loud music on and lots of fun conversations. These are bright students, fun students, into philosophy (a WHOLE LOT), and not a speckle of geekdom in them.

This of course changes to the opposite after they graduate and enter corporate world.

P.S. My word verification was this outrageous: ufkwmwxc - can we not shorten it to two letters? I mean, com'n, I could hardly even type this without going cross eyed.

9/06/2005 10:38 AM  
Blogger Stephalupogus said...

I was 1 of the lucky folks who had multiple degrees and hung out with just about every group. And you pretty much nailed it. The art majors were pretentious snobs who all looked remarkably similar. Comp. majors were just geeks.

I was a history/english major & went on for a Masters in Recreation Admin which meant that I met some VERY unusual people who make their living at throwing parties. I can recommend these people and this degree because next to History majors, these people know their alcohol. And if you become friends with the sports rec. majors as well, then the parties tend to be highly entertaining.

After graduating with that degree & making a go of it locally, I discovered that I needed a steady pay check so I started another masters in education. It took 1 class to realized that the IQ necessary was too low for me to comfortably fake so I dropped out & went back to finding ways to plan parties.

9/06/2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

Ahhh man, for a minute there I thought you were refering to me when you said "hot professor" in English...and then I remembered your post a while ago.

Let's see...it is the damn truth about History majors...my husband went on to get his masters in Latin so he could teach it in high school.

I hang out with 2 different groups of friends...ones in the English department and then ones in the Latin and languages department...what I've noticed is that the Latineers all drink wine and the Englisheers are all beer drinkers...whatcha think about that?

9/06/2005 10:55 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Slade - My buddy Dave's an English major and I can't get him to drink a beer with me. :(

Never knew a Latin major though. As for you and hot English professors, do you notice any stares? I know that one I mentioned loved the attention.

Stephalupogus - Wow, a major that plans parties? Can someone make a living doing that? How come nobody ever told me about that when I was in college?

Mybrid - One of my best friend's parents are architects. Fascinating people they are, but stressed like you can't believe. I wouldn't want to cut either of them off in traffic. They're the only architects I know though, since the schools I went to really weren't strong in architecture.

As for the word verification, sometimes I can't tell if it's a j or an i. I didn't write this software. ;)

9/06/2005 11:49 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

"Nursing majors were the most likely to take their tops off at a party."

The nursing major I know would have never even been at a college party!
Great stereotypes Zombie!

9/06/2005 11:53 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Undergrad: Psychology - yep, it's a bunch of nerds and people with their own problems. Except those who went on to non-clinical fields (like me). I was more drawn to the social psychology - people interacting with groups. Of course, behavioral psych classes did help with dog training.

Graduate: Sociology, Women's Studies, and Political Science. For the most part, women's studies classes are hen circles where clueless girls say "men suck" - though it's getting better with the inclusion of multi-cultural feminist critiques on the white, middle-class, heterosexist theories. Sociologists (as you see in many of my comments & posts) deconstruct everything. Nothing is as simple as it seems... Political Science = nerds who couldn't stay awake through history but still want to go on to Law school ;-)

9/06/2005 12:45 PM  
Blogger zydeco fish said...

I got a couple of history degrees and then went back for the MLS (the virtually unknown Master of Library Science degree). Now that is a good use of a history degree. But, I have to say that I've met a lot of nurses and nursing students, and I have yet to see that sterotype come true.

9/06/2005 1:21 PM  
Blogger exMI said...

Awful lot of history majors reading this it seems. I am another one.

9/06/2005 2:39 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Exmi - The big question is are you using your History degree for something job related?

ZF - Heh. I love nursing majors. The ones I knew were usually big time partiers and the strippers I knew who were in college were almost always nursing majors or art majors. And no, they weren't lying to me, these were ones I knew personally.

As for Library Science, never knew one LS major.

Laura - Those are awesome, especially the Women's Studies stereotype. I've had some female friends who went into WS and came out very weird. I ought to do a separate post on WS majors.

Keep in mind though, I went in as an undergrad in Psychology. Some very interesting post-Grad work is done in Psychology.

Sadie - I think the only women I knew that were any fun at the college parties were nursing majors. ;)

9/06/2005 2:43 PM  
Blogger dave said...

i was an english major but i didn't have any hot professors.

but my favorite professor was this one cat named dr. vandermey. he taught me how to pimp it like an OG. he played the piano, drank fine wine, and wrote romantic prose. that guy had like 5 girlfriends at once and another 12 in the queue. i copied his style and a lot of his rico suaviness. he made me who i am today.

so i would like to raise my cup of herbal tea to you, dr. vandermey. thanks for teaching me all things pimp.

9/06/2005 3:33 PM  
Blogger sygyzy said...

I have an econ degree and I'll gladly tell you what to do.

I kid!

9/06/2005 4:13 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

lol Zomb you were right on about bio majors (yours truly being one). That is why I went into it. Didn't become difficult until 3rd year, which is probably why I should have gone to classes for the first two...Bridg

9/06/2005 4:39 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Good luck, Ben. My major was Communication Disorders and the majority of us were women (cute ones too, I might add). SLP majors, as a group, are pretty social (we have to be - it's part of our job), work hard, but know how to play. Although, unlike nurses, we usually keep our shirts on. :-P

9/06/2005 5:26 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Dave - Heh. That's too funny about the Dr. English majors are the one major that I just can't dog on, even though you know I want to.

Sygyzy - Hey, you should be a boss, instead of one of us grunts. Where did you go wrong?

Bridget - I did know some smart bio majors, but they were both doing bio-chem. My roommate in college was a bio major. He was a dumb pretty boy, smarter than a PE major, but that's not saying much. ;)

Notta - Communication Disorders? You need to come to my jobsite and teach these engineers how to speak English. And yes, the majority of them are native speakers, but that stereotype about engineers and poor communication skills is true.

9/06/2005 5:34 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

ZS - I know all about engineering guys. My best friend is married to one and my hunny is a computer engineer. Computer guys I've known fit your stereotype to a T. Luckily, H does not fit the "stereotype" - he is pretty socially adept and he's fun to be around. :-)

As far as teaching adults social skills, I hate doing it. It's usually painful for them and they're already set in their ways. That's why I work with kiddos. :-P

9/06/2005 5:49 PM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

I haven't been to college yet, but I do accounting for a living, and man there are some good stereotypes on our peops. Rightly so.

9/06/2005 6:40 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

I hated high school and more so the college!
the excitements just kills me!

9/06/2005 8:24 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Political Science = nerds who couldn't stay awake through history but still want to go on to Law school ;-)

Close Laura...but it was actually pretentious nerds who couldn't wake up in time for early morning classes but still wanted to go to law school.

I like to think that I had a double major without doing anything extra. I was poli. sci. with an emphasis on the Soviet Union... The whole, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down the wall..." thing quickly turned me into a history major and I never even changed departments...

I kind of got ripped off on the English prof front...most of mine were better suited for teaching high school than college. I had one prof that actually gave us worksheets with crosswords and find-a-words. He was also the one who told me I would never be able to pass his class if I wasn't there every day. I took that as a challenge to show up about four or five times and still get an A.

On the other hand, I did have one English prof who was awesome...Dr. Potts taught a small class on James Joyce and this guy loved the subject and sharing it. Chuck Potts looked a bit like a tall Hobbit and our class couldn't been more than eight people. We met in a conference room. He would pack a pipe while talking, light it, and then get so animated about Joyce and his writing that he would forget that he had lit his pipe and start packing it again. One of the coolest things about him though was the fact that although he was beyond being an expert in the field, he was always fascinated by our responses.

9/06/2005 11:50 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Another history major here. I figured if I had to go to school it would at least be for something I enjoy learning about. Not really the smartest decision, but oh well. I say I want to work in a muesum, but most likely it will be as a janitor or in the gift shop. The number one question I get when I tell people I'm a history major is "Are you going to be a teacher?" Without fail, every single person who I've ever told has asked me that. And no, I'm not. Once I get my BA I'm never looking back. I also may never get a job, but I'll worry about that later. Enjoy college though Ben. My freshman year was probably the best year of my life. I'm sad my 4 years is coming to an end already. I feel old goddamnit.

9/07/2005 1:11 AM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

Most of these were right on for me. However, I was a Poli-Sci major, minor in Real Estate. Thought I would be a lawyer...HA!

The only difference in your list is that the Philos majors were weird. Most of our Biology and Chem guys were actually cute, smart and knew how to party.

9/07/2005 6:12 AM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

Literature - we tend think critcally, be more liberal and open, and enjoy philosophizing over a glss of wine. When we're not at a Frat Party!

9/07/2005 8:08 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

PC - I didn't know any Lit majors in college, but met a few after college. Fascinating people.

Jenbeauty - Your chem guys partied? Now that's weird. Most of the chem guys I knew were dorky.

Katie - You'll be fine. Think of History as something that gives you more opportunities. The problem I had is I tried to actually get something with the degree. Instead think in terms that you are educated and you know how to get what you want with the degree. I loved History and might go back for a Masters when I get rich.

Shawn - You're a lucky guy. I loved reading Joyce. That hot English professor I was talking about was heavily into him. As for that crosswords guy, what a drag. Doesn't he know the difference between high school and college is college you're paying for so your attendance is your own business?

TC - High school was a drag. I spent four years trying not to fall asleep in class.

Bsoholic - I dropped a guy off in San Francisco friday and he was an accounting graduate with a fat salary waiting for him when he graduated. He kept complaining that accounting wasn't what he wanted to do. I told him if he only knew what it was like to have your job outsourced and be out of work for almost two years. Of course, he'll never know that because he's accounting, which is about the most secure thing you can do.

Notta - I hate working with adults. I'd much rather work with kids. Adults are already molded and stuck in their neurotic ways. Kids still have a chance.

9/07/2005 9:44 AM  
Anonymous Michele said...

I've never noticed the educational stereo types, except for engineers. They always talk slowly, carefully, and sort of boringly.
But, TV stereotypes, I know! Have you ever noticed all the smart, deep kids watched Star Trek, and all the shallow kids watched Lost in Space?

9/07/2005 2:35 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Michele - I hated Lost in Space. As silly as the first generation of Star Trek was, it was way ahead of its time. Lost in Space on the other hand seemed like it was written by kids.

9/07/2005 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Michele said...

Well, there you have it. That's what kind of person you are. Sadly, I was all about Lost in Space. I even harbored a little crush on Bill Mummy.

9/07/2005 6:16 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I was all about the philosophy majors. You're right, they do get all the chicks. Unfortunately, they were also most likely to still be in college in six years (at least at the graduate level).

9/07/2005 8:51 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

I am taking a Psych major, and I have been analizing people for as long as I can remember... and I am still HAPPY!!

Glad to not be a stereotype!

9/08/2005 8:04 PM  

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