Friday, August 26, 2005

Creative writing professors

Slade works as an English Professor. That's cool in my book because I was inches away from getting my degree in English instead of History. I love writing and love reading other people's works so it would have been a good fit for me. But then again, I love History as well and decided the latter route probably because of all the majors, History is the most Heavy Metal.

Slade had an annoying conservative student bug her after class and insinuate that if he didn't get a good grade, he was being discriminated against. Well, you all know my politics, so I was highly embarassed for this guy, and especially bad for Slade because she's one hell of a cool lady.

He's under the impression that English professors are liberal. Huh? Every English professor I knew was apolitical. It was History and Poli Sci that were liberal. Geez kid, if you're gonna stereotype, at least get the stereotypes right.

So now I have an English professor story to share with you.

I've had many English professors in my past, and each one was weird in their own way, but in a good way. I got A's in all their classes, except one B with one professor that was so old school she docked for profanity. I won't use that as an excuse for a B, it was because my poetry sucks. I got a high A in the short story part and a C in poetry. I know this will ruffle a few feathers, especially since I do spoken word, but I can't stand poetry. It's too restrictive for me.

Now keep in mind, I went to school in a different time. I caught the last years of when college was actually fun and I was seeing the beginnings of the political correctness machine take over college and strip all the fun and humanity out of it.

"Catalina" was a player. Others might call her a slut, but I find that word unfair because it only gets applied one way.

Catalina was in her 40s and was absolutely hot. She knew it too and reminded you on a daily basis with her clothes and mannerisms. But man, she could write.

She gave us a lot of short stories to read like Joyce, Poe, and Kafka. She even included a few of her own, and this made her even sexier.

Every semester, it was known among the other Professors that she dated a student. My semester, Catalina picked a young, blonde pretty boy, who was kind of on the dumb side. I helped the guy with his writing and it sucked, big time. He was totally wet behind the ears, in college because his Daddy said he had to go to college, and you could tell not too experienced with the fairer sex.

I think that's why she liked him. She could have had me instead, but that wouldn't be a challenge. I'd be on her faster than Oprah charging a buffet line. No, she wanted a challenge. She wanted to leave clues that she had the hots for him, but she wanted to be subtle about it. It was like a game to her, and the game lasted almost the entire semester.

By the end of the semester, they were dating. Catalina was old enough to be his mother, but you know what? More power to her. She still had it.

I wonder if the kid got an A in her class. Of course he wouldn't have deserved it because he wrote at a 7th grade level (and really had no place in college). I could care less though because she didn't grade on a curve so his grade had nothing to do with mine. If the professor did grade on a curve, I think they should be punished severely for dating a student because then it's not fair. But in this case, it's all good, except she picked the wrong student. I would have rocked her world that semester.


Blogger Scott said...

That was a great story, and I would love to had Catalina as my teacher. I relate to your description of the last days before policital correctness. As I was finishing my BA, I saw the beginnings of what you describe.

8/26/2005 10:46 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Grade inflation is a HUGE problem and it's everywhere. From research I've seen, there are significant differences in grade expectations depending on the age of students. Not to sound "age-ist" but our entitlement generation, our children of the selfish 80s generation seem to be the problem here.

You pay for the right to sit in the classroom and the opportunity to learn. The grade must be earned.

As for "discrimination," most professors are mature enough to fairly grade students on assignments regardless of personal views or tastes. This political discrimination crap is a myth and I think it comes mostly from sheltered brats who are offended and/or threatened at having to be exposed to another's point of view. Sorry kids, that's what education is: learning to look at problems from multiple viewpoints, not just your own.

8/26/2005 11:16 AM  
Blogger sygyzy said...

"I could *not* have cared less" Zombieslayer.

8/26/2005 11:21 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

For the most part I had no instructors worth admiring, alas. I guess I got to turn the tables later. ;-)

8/26/2005 11:42 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Scott - Ah, you and I must be around the same age. I feel bad for kids nowadays. They don't have the level of fun we had. As for the last days before political correctness, there's an idea for a post. I've had teachers and professors fired in later years for saying the same stuff they said to us.

Laura - Yes, a college degree means nothing now, now that it's been dumbed down so much. I knew a kid who was allowed to take three hours for each of his tests in a special room because he had ADD. Give me a break. Who doesn't have ADD?

As for discrimination, everyone wants to feel discriminated against. It has become like the boy who cried wolf.

Sygyzy - Is your server down? I can't get to yours or Dave's page.

Jason - That's really too bad. Nothing like having a crush on a Professor. It's so wrong that it's awesome.

8/26/2005 11:47 AM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Sadly, all of my English teachers were of the "Old School Marm" variety who were all caught up in "The Scarlet Letter".

Now, one of my Psych professors... wow... This woman was H-O-T HOT.

8/26/2005 12:02 PM  
Blogger Slade said...

Thanks for the "shout out"! I enjoyed your MILF story...I recently found out that one of my professor's who is actually highly respected and known in the academic world had an affair with one of her students back in the 70s...this shocked me at first just because I never thought of her doing something so "scandalous" but we laughed about it and I realized that this must be the part where you come to the realization that your professors are real people just like you--I should have known this because I'm a teacher myself--but anyway, good post!

8/26/2005 12:20 PM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

None of my Professors were worth another look. I don't even think the women Professors were even worth another look. How sad is that?!

8/26/2005 12:40 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Jenbeauty - That's really too bad. I've had a few male professors that were ladies' men, but come to think of it, only one hot female professor (Catalina).

Slade - The 70s was the time to be alive. I'm not that old though, so I remember part of it, like how people would swim nude in public lakes and it was no big deal.
Also in the 70s, it was common place for professors and students to date. Today, everything's just too "professional" and cold. My old psych professor dated a lot of his students in the 70s, but he was Italian (what's with Italians?) so he got away with it.

ZL - I'd be intimidated by a hot psych prof. Even if she looked like Carla Gugino, I would keep my distance. But of course I'd still stare. ;)

8/26/2005 1:33 PM  
Blogger sygyzy said...

Yeah sorry about that. DDoS attack.

8/26/2005 1:42 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

ZS, I think you discovered where one of the English profs at my CC disappeared to. This woman would sit on her desk, in a mini-skirt AND pantyless, to lecture.
All the guys signed up for her class, while the girls signed up with the old codger that was BRILLIANT at creative writing.

8/26/2005 1:59 PM  
Blogger hutytito said...

Ok, here's the my creative writing professors story.

I was brilliant in English. Advance courses in high school, the whole schmear.

So my senior year, I took the advance placement test in English so I could skip freshmen English. I got my test back and made a high score, much higher than my wussy state university required. So I was set.

I go tor register for classes and the English department informs me that they haven't received a copy of my test, so I am not eligible to skip freshman english. I show them the documentation I had showing my score, but no-o-o, not good enough, and I have to go ahead and register for freshman english.

I dig my feet in, so they compromise. I can take another english course for the first sememster to see if they get the test before the secomd semester starts. So I pick a senior level course, Creative Writing. I have to go to the course instrutor, a wanna be novelist who has yet to be published and is making a living teaching writing courses at various universities. The man is jaded and bitter, but he lets me in.

Ok, so I'm a freshman and everyone else in the class is a senior, so I'm a bit intimidated and sit in the back of the class every day, saying nothing. Just turn in my assignments and keep my head down.

Well, one day this pompous jackass announces to the whole class in a loud voice, "Miss Williams, you never contribute to the discussions in this class. I hope you know you cannot pass this class on your looks alone."

I was MORTIFIED and wanted to floor to open and swallow me whole. But I refused to like this jackass intimidate. So I just remained quiet and handed in my assignments. I got the only A in the class. ; )

8/26/2005 3:03 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

SG - For some reason, that guy seems sexually frustrated (not the teacher, the dude). Cute story by the way.

Tshsmom - Dang, the big dilemna. Do I go to the class with the nice view, or the one where I'll actually have my writing skills improved? Hmm...

Sygyzy - That sucks. Well, you're back in business. We need to find some of these script kiddies and get medieval on them.

8/26/2005 3:44 PM  
Blogger SME said...

Kinda creepy. If you're gonna risk your career to date students, at least don't cherry-pick imbeciles.

8/26/2005 6:19 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

It IS A great story and she damn well did pick the wrong student.

Yours truly ummm got involved with a 23 year old. At that time I was about 51. He wanted to keep going, I never ever wanted to try that again.

Wonder what your teacher thought?

8/26/2005 7:25 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

hmmm.. this has the flavor of a "Sex with Professors" post ;) but much more actual then mine.

So this is what I have to look forward to as an English Prof? I am also working to be a school counselor... Hmmm should be fun, in a fantastical kind of way. I am 29 and I still get hit on by guys 10 years younger then me, but none that wanted to get a good grade, this could be interesting.

8/26/2005 8:30 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I'm a 27 year old english professor and I don't get to have any fun.

8/27/2005 7:50 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

PC - You might have to wait 13 years. ;)

Clothsofate - Heh, I fondly remember that post. Actually, that was the post that got me to bookmark your site.

Bridget - You going to post that on your blog? Would love to hear the rest of that story.

SME - Back in those days, it was no risk. Different days indeed. But she had a huge ego so she probably felt she had enough brains for both of them.

8/27/2005 11:42 AM  

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