Sunday, September 11, 2005

Hot Mexican Babe - Salma Hayek

I screwed up. Big time. I waited too long to list Salma Hayek as a hot babe and now The Zombie Lama called dibs on her. However, I'm a reasonable guy. I'm willing to make a trade. Ms Hayek for Sarah Michele Gellar.

Now that might be one that will get that undead brain of his spinning. Nothing is more exciting to a thrill seeking guy like ZL than to turn one known for putting undead souls out of their misery. So what says you, Zombie Lama? Trade?

As for Ms Hayek, I first got obsessed with her after seeing Robert Rodriguez's Desperado. I've said this many times, but if anyone can direct sexiness, it's Rodriguez. Lesser directors, like whomever directed that Wild Wild West movie will just waste that gorgeous body of hers. And what a body it is. What other actress has curves like Ms Hayek? Well, there was Anna Nicole Smith, but Ms Smith might as well be a zombie with her brain level. Besides, Ms Smith tries to be sexy. There is no try in sexiness, there's just do or do not.

She also interviews well. My wife has that Vanity Fair with Ms Hayek on the cover, I think it was a few years ago. She's an interesting person. Starred in Mexican soaps for years, but came here for the big money she could make in the States.

Ms Hayek also had one of the sexiest scenes in the last twenty years in the movie From Dusk 'Til Dawn, directed by Robert Rodriguez. How did you guess? I love how Quinten Tarantino wrote himself into that scene (he wrote the screenplay). I want to get killed in a movie by Salma Hayek.

I've already decided. I'm going to have either Antonio Banderas or Morgan Freeman play me, but I'm going to have a cameo scene where I'm just some stupid guy who gets killed by an undead Salma Hayek. She'll be walking around topless in the movie too. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I think Mrs. Zombieslayer might mind though. Well, I guess I have to write the movie first.

If they cast Tom Cruise in the leading role, I'm sabotaging the set.

Anyways, for your viewing pleasure, the deliciously intoxicating Salma Hayek.


Blogger tenxinchoden said...


Woo...i didn't know Salma could be this HOT

hehehe...look at me i sound wacky!

9/11/2005 8:32 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

She's much better than Sarah Michelle Gellar - SMG should not even be mentioned in the same post as Salma Hayek, IMHO. :-P I get annoyed by SMG though - it's mostly her voice - very nasaly.

9/11/2005 8:59 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Hmmm..... Throw in Kate Beckinsale and we have a deal....

9/11/2005 9:26 PM  
Blogger SME said...

She WAS hot, until she played Frida Kahlo and we all had to look at that goofy one eyebrow. For a while my neighbor had a Frida silkscreen hanging in his/her window...staring at uni-browed Commies while drinking my coffee is NOT my idea of relaxing!!!

9/11/2005 9:55 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

don't hate me but am not a Salma fan....i mean am not so crazy about her actin'...heheh:)

9/12/2005 1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sara Michelle is NOT worth Salma! Just NOT. AND the Lama wants another? I just don't get it. I just don't...

9/12/2005 3:03 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Damnit, I was that last anonymous post.

9/12/2005 3:04 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

You'd trade Selma for BUFFY?? Yick.

Is it just me or does that picture look like she's telling you to get the fuck out of her face? ;-)

9/12/2005 7:15 AM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

There are two woman that if I could look like I would. The first most definitly is Salma. She is one of the most beautiful brunettes EVER!

If ever there is a movie based on me, I want Salma to play Jen!

9/12/2005 7:31 AM  
Blogger Thomcat said...

good pick ! i usually don't drool or covet actresses ... but salma ... oy yoy yoy ... :)

9/12/2005 8:04 AM  
Blogger hutytito said...

Salma is my hero. She's brilliant and hot!

{If they cast Tom Cruise in the leading role, I'm sabotaging the set.}

LOL! I'll help!

9/12/2005 9:33 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

TC - She can. You just need to see her in a movie directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Notta - Shh! Don't tell ZL. He's in love with her.

ZL - Let me get back to you on that.

SME - That wasn't Salma. That was her evil (and hairy) twin sister Alfreda playing Frida. By the way, I don't even like Kahlo's artwork that much either.

Jenn - Yeah, tell ZL. I think he lost too many brain cells when he died.

Laura - It's the photoshoot. When I shot models (amateur, never made a penny at it), we'd keep two to three pics per roll. I heard pros keep even less. They take all these pics then decide which one to keep. I still think it's a hot pic though.

Jenbeauty - That could be a good post. Which actor/actress would you want to play you?

Thom - Well, still working on a deal with ZL trying to secure her a spot within the anti-zombie compound. I know I know. I should have called dibs on her earlier.

SG - Awesome. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks he's disgustingly overrated. He's good at being a meathead or a jerk, like Top Gun or Rainman, but put him in any other role and he screws it up.

9/12/2005 9:55 AM  
Blogger exMI said...

If you toss Kate Bekinsdale to the Zombies I'm going over the wall too.....


9/12/2005 10:04 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

ZL - Okay, I thought about it. You can have Buffy and that cute redhead witch, the one who was in band camp in those awful teenage movies that my younger brother liked so much. But you can't have both Kate and Salma. That's like buying a CD and getting a free quart of Hagen Daas. You're asking for too much.

Exmi - Yeah, really. Now waiting to hear back from ZL...

9/12/2005 10:46 AM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Oh, I don't want Kate AND Salma... well, ok, I do, but I'm not THAT greedy... well, ok, I am, but...

No, I meant I'll trade Salma for SMG and Kate Beckinsale. It's only fair... you DO have Monica Bellucci, after all.

9/12/2005 10:56 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

ZL - It's only fair... you DO have Monica Bellucci, after all.

You snooze, you lose buddy. ;)

I think if I lost Kate, they'll be an insurrection at the compound.

But then again, look at it this way. Buffy and that cute red-headed chick in the hot tub with the Zombieslayer after a hard day's work. The cute red-headed chick will be working on her spellbook while Buffy and I would be working on our second margaritas.

Or it could be you with Buffy and the cute red-headed chick while I only get Salma. You get a free spellbook too.

9/12/2005 11:33 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Anna Nicole Smith IS a zombie, no ifs, ands or buts!

I want Catherine Zeta-Jones to play me.

9/12/2005 2:19 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Why does she look like she's about to take flight in that picture? I've seen her look more ravishing.

I love Salma's personality off-screen. I think she's lovely.

For the record: From Dusk 'till Dawn is an awful movie. It's such a man's movie.
*rolling eyes*
I want to have Morgan Freeman over for dinner.

9/12/2005 4:42 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Wow, good call with this one.
Salma is way hotter than all those chicks on the Telemundo talk shows. WAY HOTTER.

And her strip tease in "Dusk til Dawn" was damn good,.. DAMN GOOD. Even better than Jessica Alba in "Sin City." That was Robert Rodriguez' direction too.

9/12/2005 5:07 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Joe - I found Carla Gugino sexier in Sin City than Jessica Alba. I do like Ms Alba, don't get me wrong. And yes, that scene in From Dusk 'Til Dawn was one of the finest moments I've seen in film.

Sadie - Morgan Freeman's just too cool. I have yet to dislike him in a movie. And From Dusk 'Til Dawn a guy's movie? You think? ;)

As for the Salma pic, wasn't the best picture I've seen of her, but since a lot of good folks still have modems, I needed to find a picture under 50kb.

Tshsmom - Catherine Zeta-Jones has her moments of sexy to unflattering. Loved her in Zorro. Wow, she looked good. I'd readily admit though when she's hot she's hot. I don't like her in those commercials though, but then again, nobody looks cool in commercials.

As for Anna Nicole Smith, you don't have to worry. Not only her, but her entire family won't be allowed in my compound. They'd do something stupid to get us all killed. I saw two episodes of her show and it scared me.

9/12/2005 5:44 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

You actually WATCHED her show? EWWW! Next thing you'll tell me is you watched "Growing Up Gotti". hehe

9/12/2005 6:56 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Well..... I know you like Salma... Tell you what... SMG and Scarlett Johansson and we have a deal. I'll even throw in Kiera Knightley so we're both trading 2.

9/12/2005 8:27 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

ZL - One of my buddies is going to hate me for this, but it's a deal. He's in love with Miss Scarlett. I just won't tell him. "Did you rescue Scarlett Johanssen?"

"Huh, what? I thought you got her."


I'll just play dumb. I'm good at that.

As for Kiera, I dig her.

Tshsmom - Well, ten minutes each time was all I could stomach. The second time, I was trying to give it a second chance. It was so awful. And nope, never seen that Gotti show.

9/12/2005 8:34 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

SHWEET! SMG and Scarlett zombies.... (drool)

9/12/2005 8:42 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I am in full compliance with the Salma factor. I was a little shocked that you mentioned SMG too, but hey, she has a little something, doesn't she?

9/13/2005 5:43 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Scarlett is a woman's woman. She's pretty without being a tramp about it and she's very hip & cool without trying to "act" like she is. Plus: She has a swell voice. I dig her. She's talented.

9/13/2005 7:37 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

I think I've already told you this, but Salma is #1 on mr. slade's list....and #3 on mine..hehe

9/13/2005 7:48 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

Wow... she's gorgeous. That is one sexy woman. Have you listed Catherine Zeta Jones on your list yet? If not you better check her out in Chicago... OW!

9/13/2005 9:12 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

"Ms Hayek also had one of the sexiest scenes in the last twenty years in the movie From Dusk 'Til Dawn, directed by Robert Rodriguez. How did you guess? I love how Quinten Tarantino wrote himself into that scene (he wrote the screenplay). I want to get killed in a movie by Salma Hayek."

Enough said....

9/14/2005 4:30 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Mel - Heh. You too, huh?

Clothosfate - She was hot in Zorro but I have yet to see Chicago. I need to rent that one.

Slade - I've never ranked them, but she's definitely in the top ten.

Sadie - Scarlett has an "old" look to her. I like that. She'd be great in a film noir remake.

Scott - Yeah, SMG has something to her. But I'd take Hayek over Gellar so I had to make that trade with ZL. Choosing who we'd save is going to be tough when the zombies come, so it wouldn't hurt to do it a little bit now. ;)

ZL - The things we had to do to save Salma Hayek. She better be grateful for it. I'll mention it in my next letter to her.

9/15/2005 3:32 PM  

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