Friday, August 12, 2005

What makes a woman sexy?

I get asked this all the time. "Hey Zombieslayer, what kind of woman do you like?"

I don't have a laundry list. But I can tell you what I find sexy.

I like a woman who likes herself. Not some narcissistic, egomaniac, but rather someone who's content with what she has and doesn't have such low self-esteem that I have to constantly tell her she's okay. That's too much work. I admire confidence, not weakness.

I like a woman who smiles. I've seen gorgeous sites in my life, from the pyramids of Mexico, sunsets in the Caribbean, to sunrises in the San Francisco Bay Area. Amazing. But as gorgeous as those things are, nothing is as beautiful as a woman's smile.

I like a woman who laughs. I think it's so cute. I intentionally try to throw a woman off, catching her off guard. I don't want just a smirk, I want an uncontrolled laugh out of a woman. If I'm successful at it, it gives me the warm fuzzies inside.

I like a woman with a backbone. I find it sexy when a woman is strong and tries to hold her ground at impossible odds. People, both men and women, give up too easily. I find it sexy when a woman runs into a brick wall, and instead of turning back, she navigates around it. Wow. That's another thing that brings me warm fuzzies.

I like a woman who's not afraid to get dirty. Tomboys have always attracted me. I find it so sexy when a woman aggressively actually tries to take the soccer ball away from me, then later that evening, I see her in a red dress and heels.

I like a woman who has a soft side too. Actually, I insist she must. No, no need to hide that trash romance novel from me. I find it sexy you read them. Because those who read them will not be faking a smile when I surprise them with a box of chocolates.

So what about you? For you ladies, what makes a guy sexy? For you gentlemen, what did I leave out?


Blogger hutytito said...

You get asked this all the time? Who are you hanging out with? ; )

Great list. You can just substitute man for woman and he for she in your list and you have my list for an attractive-to-me man. Oh, and he has to like sex.

And I love a man who knows how to flirt. One of my favorite things that a man has ever said to me was, "Your laughter sounds like angels." Now _that's_ a sexy man.

8/12/2005 9:38 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Me and my friend were just talking about this last night. I think a part of being extremely attractive is having just a twinge of mysteriousness. At first its a little hard to find a guy really hot if you can read everything they are thinking.

8/12/2005 10:25 AM  
Blogger dave said...

hey zombie, i would add one more thing to that list: a good listener.

8/12/2005 10:59 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Backbone is probably the most important quality for me of those you listed. Beyond that, it's tough. I like so many different types of women I can't pin it down. :-)

8/12/2005 11:05 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Hm... that's a toughy. Most of the things you said apply to men as well (except maybe the red dress and heels, but to each their own).

I've never been much for the GQ, clean-shaven types, though the ability to clean up on appropriate occasions is always a plus. Must have a sense of humor and not take himself too seriously. Must be able to put up with my absolute stubbornedness. Must be able to hold an intelligent conversation about something other than sports or cars. Makes me feel comfortable being me. That's about it... Well, aside from a nice ass... :-D

8/12/2005 11:16 AM  
Blogger Dina said...

That's one great list!

8/12/2005 11:58 AM  
Blogger Danius Maximus said...

a large chest and nice ass, end of arguement. And sweet jesus drinking pepsi! come over to my site and weigh in on the new theological debate over belief and sugar water...

8/12/2005 12:09 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I like a woman that can handle her own fights, that doesn't need a man to take care of her, doesn't let anyone take advantage of her, and knows who she is.

Dennis Miller once ranted about what men want from women. This is the only place I could find it online. Check it out, it's hilarious.

8/12/2005 12:20 PM  
Blogger Kunaxa said...

What the hell is going on in yoru comments section ZS. I've never been this confused in quite sometime.

For me, the most important qualities are Opacity and Ambition. Transparent women who aren't ambitious are just boring.

8/12/2005 12:23 PM  
Blogger Dominic said...

Hello, I stumbled on your blog through the "next Blog" button. I thought from the title that you might be interested in mY blog.
Hope you like it.

8/12/2005 12:34 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

ugh. more spam. I guess that means you're popular though.

8/12/2005 1:03 PM  
Blogger Reverend Dr. Will Trump said...

well, i definitely think that a woman spamming is NOT sexy ...

8/12/2005 2:01 PM  
Blogger Mybrid said...

What makes a man sexy?
His voice.
His walk.
His intelligence.
A man who shows his love to kids or pets.
His natural curiosity about life and yeah,!
And like southerngirl mentioned - a man who knows how to flirt and tease.

Oh wait, I'm married to one of these! ;-)

8/12/2005 2:02 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Spam and people shamelessly plugging their own blogs! Disgusting! Did you sign up for BlogExplosion or something--sheesh.
Sexy Man Traits:
A Hands-on Father-- there is something so sexy about a man that can roll around on the floor with his kids after a hard day's work.

Protectiveness-- I love it when a man wants to protect what's important to him, be it his family, his home, his dignity--whatever.

A God-fearing man

A man who can make me laugh

A man that can be ridiculously silly with me.

A man who can kiss and provoke butterflies.

A tender man that's not afraid to cry.

A man that doesn't give up easily.

A man that treats his mother well and doesn't talk bad about people.

A one-woman man

My hubby--in a nutshell.

8/12/2005 2:07 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

What makes a man sexy? His ass (if he has a nice one), decisiveness, sweat, the unknown (you think he's quiet, but then he is forceful in ahem.. other ways), a good dancer, and his adoration of his lady - the way he looks at her that is meant only for her, strong hands.

8/12/2005 2:20 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Geez. I walk away from the computer and get bombarded with blogger spam. Unreal.

I like your replies so far. And yes, I still get asked this. I guess guys want to know what other guys think is sexy in women.

I ask this question to you because sexiness is so much more than just physical attractiveness. To me, a woman could be hot, but not sexy.

I've even seen women who were physically plain that had an aire of sexiness to them, you know, the plain Jane type that you can't put two in two together of why you're crazy about her.

8/12/2005 2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, Zombie, you want to know what a 40-something male thinks is sexy in a woman? I agree with a lot on your list, but with slightly different nuances. This is what I think is sexy:

A sense of humor. Hey, if she can laugh and make me laugh, it is an instant connection. This is in agreement with your statement about a woman who laughs

Intelligence. If she can talk about a lot of different things -- current events, politics, history, science, music and the arts -- it makes for great conversation and interaction. There is nothing worse than a woman who is has a lower IQ than a squirrel.

Enthusiasm. A woman who gets excited about life exudes positive energy. I can't stand women who lose their "Joie de vivre." Maybe this is the smile part of your list?

I agree with liking herself. I don't have time for insecurity and low self-esteem. If a woman needs someone to "blow sunshine up her ass" to make her feel better, then she should go to a therapist.

A woman who is confident sexually. Enough said.

A woman who is not afraid to take chances and take control. This is similar to your "backbone" item. I like a woman who is willing to challenge the status quo, who is not content to just sit and watch life go by.

8/12/2005 3:32 PM  
Blogger Watitiz said...

What makes a man sexy? A fine line between being a dick head and a pussy. Now that we've all stopped laughing, we can be serious. Simple my friend everything you just said about a woman for a man but i can not emphasize enough the love for his self. Not that jerk love for his self either but that I am perfectly content with whom i am and have every reason to be. If you do not love yourself how can i love you? And always remember there is nothing sexier than self confidence and no bigger turn off than cockiness.

8/12/2005 3:47 PM  
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8/12/2005 3:52 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

In leui of the hair regrowth anonymous poster, a sexy man is one who doesn't use hair regrowth products, but who accepts himself whether or not he has a full head of hair. :-P

8/12/2005 3:59 PM  
Blogger dave said...

hey everyone, is there a place where we can vote for blog of the month or something? because if there is, i think zombie takes the prize, hands down.

can i get a witness?

8/12/2005 4:06 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Dave B - Awwww. Now I'm blushing.

Jen - I was just about to delete it, but I guess I'll keep it just to make fun of it.

Watitiz - Problem is a lot of men mistake cockiness for confidence in themselves. Huge difference, and women usually see right through it.

Coach Dave - How could I forget intelligence? Good thing you brought that one up.

Everyone - Sorry I wasn't able to reply to everyone today. It was like a battle against spammers on this post. A big mess. You wouldn't believe how many I deleted. Weird. I'd really hate to do this, but I'm thinking of turning off anonymous posting. Some really cool people don't have blogs and post anonymously, but if I keep having days like this, I'll have no choice.

Oh, and for some strange reason, I like scratchy voices in women. Why I have no idea.

8/12/2005 4:46 PM  
Blogger Slade said...

how about red hair, ZS??? hehe

I like a good sense of humor

8/12/2005 7:38 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

A man is sexy if he can debate with me, win, and still make me laugh. ;)

What else is good?

A good singing voice, nice shoulders, fuzzy chest,
doesn't touch fake-blonde hair-dye.

Has a geek side, is religious without being a priest. Is growly.
Has good daddy hands. Likes Patton.

That'll do for now!

8/12/2005 7:49 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Wow ZS great list. It's true that most of them can apply to men as well. Confidence (comfort in their own skin), sense of humor, love of animals/kids, integrity, intelligence, good ties with family, that kind of thing.

Red hair does do something to me but that's beginning to fade. And height (tallness).


8/12/2005 9:14 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Slade - Mrs. Zombieslayer's a red-head. Love 'em redheads.

Miranda - Like General Patton? That guy's my hero. I was telling Ben the other day I even have The Last Days of Patton DVD.

Bridget - You know, people who like animals definitely have a caring side to them. I don't think I need to tell you this, but beware people who beat up on animals. They have some serious issues.

8/12/2005 11:24 PM  
Blogger Stephalupogus said...

I would add someone who is not only confident, but someone who knows their own minds, morals, strenghts and weaknesses is rather sexy.

A great body and (for me) a husky, deep voice always helps too. And if they look like Bill Gates, then that size of a checking account helps as well.

8/13/2005 11:32 AM  
Blogger Miranda said...

Patton's my hero too. *Grin* And you can bet he never used blonde hair dye!

8/13/2005 10:49 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Have you been peeking in our windows? My husband read this and said you just described ME!

BTW, my husband is now your latest fan. Previously he only read Waiterrant and our daughter's blog. He doesn't even read MY blog!

8/14/2005 6:37 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Tshsmom - That's wonderful. I got another reader. :)
Uh oh, the pressure's on to continue to be interesting. ;)

Miranda - Yet another thing we have in common. One thing I loved about Patton is he wasn't afraid to say what's on his mind. Offensive, yes, but if you fight a war to win, Patton's the guy you want leading your troops. Sad how he died though.

Stephalupogus - Heh. Yeah, my wife was flat broke when I married her. I guess our marriage would have been easier if I had money too. I'm glad you had the courage to admit that money matters. Most people are scared to admit that because it's so un-PC.

8/14/2005 2:14 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

i think you'll meet her at the next corner..Good luck with that

and for girls ...think someone like you will

8/15/2005 12:15 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

Wow.. commenting on this piece is almost intimidating due to the sheer number of comments so far. Yet I cannot possibly resist.

I have to say, your list of qualities for a sexy woman, was a very sexy thing in itself! For me, a man who can express himself in an articulate way is incredibly sexy. I guess that is intellect, imagination and confidence all wrapped together.

Mischevious, flirty eyes are very sexy. A nice ass is always a treat, but definitly not necessary. I absolutly love men who can dance, and I don't mean just couple dancing although being good at that is very sexy. A man who can dance generally has a good sense of rythmn... *raised eyebrow*

I think that aggressive men, not pushy, self-centered asshole types, but men who are not afraid to grab and kiss a woman he knows wants him to. I find it incredibly sexy if a man initiates an intimate encounter. Even just standing very close, purposfully, without even touching. Yumm.

One last, very important sexy aspect is happiness or self-satisfaction. A person, man or woman, who makes themselves happy and does not expect or need it from others is a very sexy person indeed.

8/16/2005 3:48 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Clothosfate - Your description of sexiness is very cool. I understand the difference between aggressiveness and pushy/self-centered. Agressive folks know what they want and make a move for it. Pushy/self-centered types would step on an innocent person to get it. Big difference.

Tenxin - Thanks. As for me looking, no, I'm done. Been married for quite some time now. Like you though, I just love to write.

8/16/2005 6:32 PM  

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