That spider had more than one hit point
Last night, I was minding my own business, playing a game on the computer when one of those spiders with the big bodies popped out and wiggled his little tongue at me. Ha, mock me spider, time for you to die.
I wouldn't be so adamant about killing spiders had not Mrs. Zombieslayer been allergic to spider bites. Therefore, any spider making it inside the house gets a death sentence.
So I quickly grabbed something to kill it with and lo and behold, he went onto our mattress. Now that gets me mad. I can't exactly just swat it because he'd leave behind his guts and guess who would have to clean it up? So I tried to grab it.
Ha ha. Caught him. Now to throw his carcass out. Huh? The spider's now
crawling on my arm. Stupid spider.
Out of reflex, I shook my arm and the spider fell off into Mrs. Zombieslayer's books then quickly went behind the bookshelf. He got away.
This morning, I bet he's having a beer with his stupid spider friends, bragging that he escaped from the Zombieslayer. Well, brag all you want, buddy. You better be living it up for you're in the jungle now, baby, and you're gonna die.
Oh, by the way, thanks all for your kind words, prayers, support, and offers of help. I got a job. And Mrs. Zombieslayer's thinking of going back to school as a cosmotologist.
posted by The Zombieslayer @ 9:37 AM
17 Comments:
I'm glad to hear that you have a justifiable reason for killing them. Maybe I need to develop and allergy to all bugs, so I won't feel guilty getting rid of them the easy way! I can't believe it crawled on your arm. (Shudder) So gross.
Congratulations on the job! I'll stomp a spider in your honor next chance I get.
Good to hear you're employed again, ZS. You don't seem the type we want out on the streets too long. Tell Mrs. Z. that I try to talk my daughter's (Levi's little sisters) into cutting hair all the time. It's a great way to make a living. You can work from home, or in any town. People always get their hair cut. Pretty good money.
Did you see in the news yesterday that the average person swallows like, I think, 8 spiders in their sleep during their lifetime?
Michele, that's actually not true! Check out snopes.com.
Along with my crippling fear of sharks is my crippling fear of spiders.
Dan kills all the spiders for me when he's home (I shoo the bees out of the house in exchange) and when he's not home, my 8 year old son has been trained well in the art of ridding the home of spiders without freaking mommy out too much.
The worst spiders: The Big Ugly Ones That Make Faces At You or Move When You Go To Squash Them.
Spiders are evil and of the devil.
Congrats on the job situation looking up.
Thanks all.
Yeah, spiders are evil. Certain animals are good like dolphins but spiders, fleas, and ticks are definitely in league with Satan.
Spiders eat bugs. I agree that they belong outside as I HATE cleaning up webs in the house!
I kill any bug in my house EXCEPT spiders...they eat the misquitos...YAY! You got a job! So so glad!
Savage - I'll have one this weekend. I'll give you a call.
Slade and Tshsmom - yeah, I'm aware of that. Kind of a dilemna. They kill bad bugs, but Mrs. Zombieslayer's allergic to them. So because of the latter, the ones outside the house are fine. The ones who make it inside the house get sentenced to death.
409 formula cleaner?
Everyone, behold The SPIDERSLAYER.
congrats on the job.
Congrats on the job, ZS!
And I agree with you and the Mrs. on spiders. The only good spiders are the dead ones. I'm allergice, too, but besides that, they are the only creatures that make me yelp when I see them, that make my heart palpatate and panic rise in my body. I hate them. Really. I. Hate. Them.
haha! i like your spider picture, zombie. i can't wait until you move back down. we'll go hunting evil bugs together.
Haha, this post was too cute!
So here's my recent encounter with the spider we'll call Hairy.
I'm sitting on the floor at the coffee table making birthday cards for my mom with my son when suddenly I feel something in my hair. I thought it was just hair falling out of the clip I had in it, so I just shake my head. Then I feel something on my cheek. I STILL think it's my hair. Then the little bastard was crawling on my arm. I tried not to jump so to not scare my son. I look down and there he goes running under the couch. I tried squashing him with the leg of my son's little chair, but to no avail.
He is a pervert and he violated me. He shall pay. He is now in my jungle.
I wish you luck on your mission. We shall prevail!
Good to hear about the job!
That's a funny story. I hate spiders in my house. It's one thing if they hang out on the porch or in the basement, but sorry buddy - not in my closet.
Love the new Zombie.
Whoops, didn't finish...
My friend Sean is so afraid of spiders he can't even watch them on TV. His version of Hell:
Flying spiders.
I have to agree with him on that one.
I freak when presented with a spider. It's an irrational fear, I know, but I can't help it.
Congratulations on your new job! I'm glad to hear things are looking up. :-)
Post a Comment
<< Home