Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Rule #1 - Men and Women are from Earth

I know a lot of people in blogland are writers. Some have a successful writing career and others struggle to get their work published.

I've seen a lot of writers out there who are really good, and who I wish I could publish myself, had I been running a publishing company. I also see some scam artists who are making a killing.

Ever since I started this blog, it has been for fun. I currently don't have ads on it. It's crossed my mind, but I've decided to keep it ad free unless the ads are for something I'm selling.

Well, I've been writing for awhile now, actually for about ten years, and I think it's about time I started getting paid for it. I initially considered doing an exposé on the Atkins diet, something that has killed people including Fatkins himself, and caused all kinds of kidney and liver problems.

But that would be a lot of work. I'm no dietician and I'd have to hire someone to fact check. Instead, I floated around a few ideas with Mrs. Z about another con artist - the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus guy.

This guy's a straight up con artist and the book would write itself. I'm also thinking of splitting the book in half and doing something on The Rules ladies. Here are two obviously miserable women giving bad advice to lonely women out there, that will only manage to keep them lonely. Although they're not con artists like the Mars guy, they make good butts for jokes.

I'll lace the whole thing with Zombieslayer style humor and keep it lighthearted. It's kind of a justice thing for me. I've known some highly talented but broke writers in my day and it does bother me that they're struggling at dead end jobs while these schmucks are multi-millionaires, and they don't help anyone with their drivel. They prey on loneliness, give you a fake solution that doesn't work, and sucker good people into buying more of their trash.

The Mars guy even has a fake PhD. I don't remember the whole story, but it's either the company was shut down because they're cons, they went bankrupt, or a combination of both. I'll have to verify that for you. In the meantime, notice that he doesn't say where he got the PhD from? That's because he bought the PhD as opposed to earning it like the rest of us have to do.

So for now, I'll float the idea around to some agents. If they think they could successfully pitch it, I'll write the book. If not, I won't and I'll think of something else to rant about. Whatever happens, I'll keep you all informed.


Blogger Vest said...

There is no shortage of Quack Docs, they are among us everywhere. I recall one in England who was unsuccessful in his studies stating his name and letters as PHD M,BB,S. F.R.A.C.GP, Karachi,(F).
Apparently the (F) went unnoticed by his gullible patients for quite awhile.
Anyone ancient enough to remember the Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren song,"Oh Doctor Im in Trouble"
"Oh goodness gracious me"

Does your heart still go boomtidy boomtidy Boom, when singing the song.

1/05/2006 2:01 AM  
Blogger Liquidplastic said...

Well you go Zombie, and as soon as you get in the door with a good agent and a publishing company, try to keep it crack for me.

You see that's the reason why good writers don't get published, because they are not in the know, or the circle, where everyone sound and write alike.

I know this, I would buy your book, because my husband bought that Man from Mars/Women form Venus crap and it didn't do shit for us, so we got a refund!

Have a good day ...

1/05/2006 6:33 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

I'd lump Dr. Phil in there with the others. I think is degree is "real" but he's such a cheeser.

I think it's a great idea.

You know what PhD stands for right? Piled higher and deeper.

1/05/2006 7:01 AM  
Blogger Slade said...

Thank you for the wonderful present (the drawing of scary me)!!! I LOVED it!

I hated that book when it came out--what do you think about that "sex in the city" book called "He's just not that into you"???

1/05/2006 8:05 AM  
Blogger lime said...

there certainly is a proliferation of crap out there.

my personal style over the expose thing would be a totally snarky spoof. but that's just me. mayb ei read to much MAd magazine as a kid. now there's some good reading!

1/05/2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - Wow, BB? FRAC? I hope he didn't treat anyone serious.

Don't remember the song. My memories of Peter Sellers are of one of my fav movies (Dr Strangelove) and the Pink Panther movies.

LP - You see that's the reason why good writers don't get published, because they are not in the know, or the circle, where everyone sound and write alike.

This is the problem with both writers and musicians. There are so many undiscovered people with screaming talent.

Lol about the book. :)

Laura - No, I did not know that. Heh.

I know nothing about Dr. Phil other than he looks cheesy.

Slade - Glad you liked it. :)

I know nothing about the Sex and the City books. Seen a few episodes of the show and some are good, some are hoaky.

1/05/2006 8:36 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Lime - Mad rules! It's too bad the tv show sucks. Their first season was good, but then it just got old.

Yeah, it will be part exposé, part spoof, meant not to be taken too seriously.

1/05/2006 8:39 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Oh yes!
Please lump the Rules ladies in that one. They are making a killing off that trash. Not only that but other cons are making money off similar books such as "He's Just Not That Into You"--saw that writer on Oprah.
Go get 'em Z!

1/05/2006 9:06 AM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

Good luck, hopefully an agent will like the idea and roll with you. It's a great idea for a book.

1/05/2006 9:54 AM  
Blogger thephoenixnyc said...

Write about what you are passionate about. If its an expose on the self-help book industry as you suggest, then go for it.

OPassion takes you as far, and sometimes farther even than talent.

1/05/2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger Miladysa said...

Good luck!

1/05/2006 1:54 PM  
Blogger Moni said...

Alright Zombie! Please do write something professionally, I want to read it.

I've never read any of those "relationship books", aside from the fact that I'm too lazy; I'd rather just stumble through the darkness. At least that way if I fail at a relationship I can only blame myself or the other person. ;)

1/05/2006 3:58 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Zombieslayer, you have got to be one of the coolest guys I've ever 'met'. And ethical.


Hey was the place that shut down the Japanese Bicycle Tire Company? They sold degrees in the 70s (yes I know that rhymes...).

Please do it.... would definitely buy it and pimp your stuff .....

1/05/2006 4:51 PM  
Blogger Bhakti said...

There is a terrific bit about how misguided this Men are From Mars book is in a book called IF THE BUDDHA DATED: A Handbook For Finding Love On The Spiritual Path.

I know that sounds like a lame title in and of itself, but it actually is a terrific book. It's all about approaching someone from your true essence, and getting rid of the stereotypes and games that people play. The author is Charlotte Kasl, Phd. I recommend that you look at the comments Ms.Kasl makes regarding the Men are From

Good luck in your endeavor!!!
Break a pen!

1/05/2006 5:06 PM  
Blogger marcy_peanut said...

Dr. Phil is actually a terrific doctor. I went to him with marital problems, and not only did he fix them, he also cured me of chronic flatulance. He's a good man. And you know what they say, 'A good man is hard to find'. He also bakes a mean muffin.

1/05/2006 5:09 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Ha, ha - this post reminds me of "Sex and the City" the other night when two of the gals go to a seminar on "love". The "motivational" speaker had an answer for everything and it always directed the problem back to the person asking the question, instead of offering any sort of helpful answers based on any knowledge or insight. I'm with you, though - too many quacks out there. Even though I don't think men and women come from different planets, so to speak, I think there is a need for each sex to "understand" the other one as much as possible. However, if there ever was a full understanding of the opposite sex, that would be the end of my "margarita nights" with my girlfriends and end H's "dinner/drinks with the guys". Isn't half the fun bitching/commisserating about that which we have incomplete knowledge of? On a side note, I'm listening to an audio-book called "Nickel and Dimed" - about not getting by in America. After listening to about half of it, if I ever wrote anything , it would be along those lines. I'm all for experimentation and seeing what it's like in someone else's shoes.

1/05/2006 6:12 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Sadie - The thing about The Rules ladies are they seem to be drastically unhappy. If they're that unhappy, you probably don't want to buy an advice on relationship happiness from them.

Bsoholic - thanks. Yeah, I hope publishers think the same thing.

Phoenix - Probably true about the passion. It's also persistence.

Miladysa - Thanks.

Moni - I've never read a single one. I'd rather learn by doing.

Bridget - Please do pimp my stuff.

Not sure about the degree. It was one of those online degree places. Nothing against online courses, but this one was a scam.

Bhakti - Thanks. I may use that as a reference then.

Marcy - I have no opinion on Dr Phil, other than I wouldn't take advice for hair loss from him. ;)
I'm glad he helped you out. That's cool.

Notta - A little trick I've learned - ask questions. I've always had tight female friends that I could ask anything to and they'd answer. So I did the same for them. And we learned about the opposite sex that way. Ironically, I think I've learned more from female friends about women than from lovers.

1/05/2006 6:48 PM  
Blogger marcy_peanut said...

Did I say Dr. Phil HELPED me? Oh, I mispoke. What I meant to say was that he has very big teeth. Sorry for the confusion.

1/05/2006 6:52 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Marcy - You're awesome. My real estate agent just made us martinis and I got a good laugh out of that. :)

1/05/2006 7:19 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

Wow, what a great idea, I think its awesome that you are going for it!! I wish you all the success!!

It seems that fear and insecurity can easily be used against people... its a weak spot that other people in positions of power tend to abuse and manipulate. I truly appreciate that you are brave and intelligent enough to approach the issue and use your voice. You inspire many people Mr. Zombieslayer, its admirable that you use your power for good.

Did I mention that those are very sexy traits ;)

1/05/2006 8:20 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Clothosfate - Yeah, you did mention before they are sexy traits. Did I mention before that a woman who's sure of herself is sexy?

1/05/2006 8:25 PM  
Blogger Dawner said...

I think you struck some cords with this entry. I really liked it alot. It seems the best things to write about always end up being the ones with so many side to it. Yeah the ad thing, if you hadn't noticed I decided to jump on that train. I really don't know why, but how many of us can say we know why we do half the things we do. Keep writing zombie even when I don't have an entry of my own I am still reading. Later!

1/06/2006 6:40 AM  
Blogger marcy_peanut said...

Oh oh...we're in trouble...the ZombieSlayers drinking the all too potent Realty-Agent martinis!!!!!

1/06/2006 8:12 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Marcy - My real estate agent loves martinis. To unconfuse you, I live with my real estate agent during the week and go home to my family on weekends. I just can't make the salary I make in the San Francisco area in the small town we live in, so that's why I do this. I was making literally less than half the salary in the small town that I'm making now, and that's just because cities pay more money than small towns for doing the same thing.

Dawner - I'm happy to see you back. I'm always worried you're going to retire from blogging on us.

1/06/2006 8:41 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

:) hahahaha, ya I think you might have. We must be some damned sexy people. ;p

1/06/2006 9:52 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

Self help books are a crock as are Tony Robbins and Dr.Phil.

anyone who listens to or reads idiots deserve to lose their money.

1/06/2006 2:35 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

I have to disagree with ya there, just a little dusty. Tony Robbins is about positive thinking, and a type of hypnosis called NLP. I actually am quite familiar with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) and I know that it is amazingly affective. If you are interested, just google it. I am with ya about Dr. Phil though... he's just a cash cow, and full of BS.

1/13/2006 7:51 AM  

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