Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Make martinis, not love

I'm spinning. If I'm slurring my words, I apologize in advance, but it's because my real estate agent made one heck of a martini. He took Beefeater Gin, put two olives in it, and added ice. Wow! That's one strong drink.

Now I'm feeling good while he's flying a helicopter indoors.

Do you think Ron when nobody's looking ever sings Everything She Does in Magic to himself while thinking of Hermoine?

Heh. He just crashed the helicopter into the refridgerator.

I made lemon chicken for dinner. It turned out wonderful. We pigged out.

I guess I should explain to you my situation, for I'm sure you're confused. I'm currently working in the San Francisco Bay Area and go back to Chico (two hours, twenty minutes northeast) where Mrs. Z and Junior live on the weekends. I stay with my real estate agent, a friend of mine I went to high school with, during the week.

Being away from Mrs. Z, Junior, and the dogs isn't easy but my buddy's a cool guy to live with.

Last night, we went to 7-11 to get ice cream after checking out a possible investment property. The lady who worked there was trying to make herself look her best. She was cute, and I noticed she was eyeing one of us. He didn't notice, but I did. He's horrible at reading women, and I'm going to have to teach him a few things.

He knows money though. The guy could take a dollar bill and turn it into a hundred. Believe me, I'm taking notes. It's just weird how one person could be good at one thing and horrible at another.

Am I making any sense? Probably not, but I'm having fun writing. Okay, I need to sober up. You all are the best and I can't wait to meet every single one of you in person.

Tootles.

39 Comments:

Blogger Bhakti said...

OH my goodness, you are SO funny...you can't wait to meet us all in person?? You definitely ARE tanked, Mr.Slayer. Not that we wouldn't all want to meet you, too; but to write that in a post means you are definitely tanked!!! :)

Keep having fun,
It keeps you young.

11/30/2005 8:50 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I, hiccup, love you man!

11/30/2005 8:57 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Scott - Wow, am I that bad?

Bhakti - Heh, the thing is, it was only one drink. a big one though, and not diluted with anything.

11/30/2005 9:19 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe...drunken blog posts are always fun to read. Carolyn over at crazedmomof3.blogspot.com did one last week :)

11/30/2005 10:29 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Bearette - Well, we went for an hour and a half walk and I'm sober now, but that was fun. I'll now check out your buddy's site.

11/30/2005 11:03 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

haw haw... flyin'... i think i had that feelin some months back... it was like eveythin around was movin in circle!! woah!!
one word though 'get free not high'
ohhh! that four:)

11/30/2005 11:23 PM  
Blogger lime said...

lol, that was fun. thanks for clearing it all up though. i was definitely confused. hope your pal was sober. it must be bad to fly drunk.

12/01/2005 3:33 AM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Oh that sounds like a marvellous evening.

Sometimes relationships are the better for having a little distance between you both. But not over the long haul... so what are you gonna do?

My best friend Ozma (the Mexican American) makes a marvellous chicken and yellow rice dinner riddled with green olives. It is to DIE for. When she makes it, the house is filled with people (WHERE do they COME from?) and laughter and sangria. God I love those times.

12/01/2005 6:01 AM  
Blogger mariel said...

i I love martini!!!!! and being tipsy ;)

12/01/2005 6:34 AM  
Blogger scumbag said...

dude, some chick said she wanted to eat me. it may have been sexual, but i'm suspecting zombie.

12/01/2005 7:18 AM  
Blogger PVPeeved said...

Sounds like the glass must have been one of those you can do laps in... I prefer the breaststroke.

Now if I can just turn that into $100.

~PVPeeved

12/01/2005 7:29 AM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

I love drunk postings!!!

I am horrible at reading men! Do men actually read?

12/01/2005 8:28 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Okay that last line was like those beer commercial where the guys are like, "I love you man." Remember those?
Z, you're funny.
Oh yeah, and real estate is where's it's at. My husband and I love that show "Flip This House". We want to be 'flippers'.

12/01/2005 9:14 AM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

LOL, you sound like a fun drunk! Great post, and makes more sense than some of my drunken posts.

12/01/2005 9:47 AM  
Blogger sygyzy said...

That's not a martini! It's just gin on the rocks.

12/01/2005 10:51 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Just giving you a hard time Zombie!

12/01/2005 1:08 PM  
Blogger Miladysa said...

I am sure Ron does sing that song but only to himself and not well.

Let us hope that the girl in the 7-11 is making eyes at your friend and not you, I would hate to see the Zombieslayer slain by Mrs Z :)

How's the head?

12/01/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

You're a CUTE drunk!
Did the helicopter live?

12/01/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger Moni said...

***adds another olive to Zombie's martini*** Sliante'!!!!!

12/01/2005 4:39 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I didn't know Zombies were effected by alcohol. How cute!

12/01/2005 4:52 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Sober up?!

For God's sake why?

12/01/2005 5:56 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

I am picturing you slurring your words. :-P At any rate, an entertaining post and I'm glad you have a good friend to live with when you're not with family. :-)

12/01/2005 5:58 PM  
Blogger Truman said...

I totally understand the whole "being good at one thing and horrible at another" thing. For instance: I can NOT draw to save my life, yet I could write a song in around 3 minutes. It's good to see you drunk. Too bad about the helicopter though...

12/01/2005 6:31 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Truman - Man, sometimes I wish I was still in Seattle so I could jam with you and Thom. Yeah, I'll write a song pretty fast, and it took a long time for me to learn to draw. it's definitely not easy.

Notta - Yeah, I'm blessed. he's a pretty good guy.

Joe - so I could get some work done the next day. ;)

PC - I'm the slayer, not the zombie. ;)

Moni - I love olives. :)

Tshsmom - Yup. The helicopter's still alive. I think he realized he had a good buzz and didn't do anything fancy. Still, flying it in the house wasn't the most intelligent thing to do.

Miladysa - Yeah, I hope so too. I could tell by looking at her that she was a nice girl. My buddy needs a nice girl.

Scott - I know. Funny that I've had so many straight male friends who told me that while drunk. Weird how people get all emotional drunk, then the next day they're back to being cold and serious.

Sygyzy - Come up and visit. We have some good pho here, and we could hit Chinatown in S.F.

Bsoholic - Nah, you're hilarious when drinking. Well, maybe you don't make sense, but you're still funny. or at least your posts are.

Sadie - Had no idea you invest in real estate. We're going to have a lot to talk about when we meet.

Yeah, remember those commercials. Bud, right?

Jenbeauty - I couldn't read until I started getting serious with who is now my wife. Guys can read, but it takes them longer to learn to use that skill than women do. Women seem to pick it up faster.

Pvpeeved - It was straight gin with ice and olives. that's it. I had five Sierra Nevada beers on Sunday (watching the football games) and was completely sober. But this gin hit me hard.

Shane - Don't let her bite you. Zombieism is a virus. Pick up the book by Mel Brooks' son. Forgot his first name, but his last name is also Brooks. Ah, that's it, Max Brooks The Zombie Survival Guide. You'll learn everything you'll need to learn about zombies.

Mariel - Me too. :)

Saurkraut - Love Mexican rice. I don't know what they do with the rice, but it's soooo yummy.

As for me and Mrs. Z, she's finishing school, so she'll be up north for a year. No biggie though, because we still spend a lot of quality time with each other.

Lime - No, he had a buzz too. But he knew it, so he didn't fly it upside down or do anything fancy. The helicopter's still alive.

He has two helicopters, a gas one and a battery powered one. his goal is to have a real one, which he probably will within five years.

TC - That Make martinis, not love was from Monty Python. You ever see that show? It was actually "make tea, not love" but I thought it was funny as martini.

12/01/2005 8:21 PM  
Blogger punkbandaid said...

haha late night 7-11 trips.... good memories lol.

12/01/2005 8:28 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

I like you sober, I like you tanked. Was tanked earlier tonight (2 margs, 2 beers) but am much more sober/less fun now.

Love ya too ZS!!

Bridg

12/01/2005 9:28 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Bridget - Love ya too, babe!
Love margaritas. And of course love a good beer too. Sober now. Just heated up some tortellinis and had my marinara (from scratch) over it, but didn't drink as heavily tonight. Still, a wonderful dinner.

Punkbandaid - Oh yeah. Never got kicked out of one because I was always a repeat customer. :)

12/01/2005 9:40 PM  
Blogger Slade said...

I like drunk ZombieSlayer! I should drunk blog some time...sounds like fun!

I nearly peed my pants at the Ron and Hermione thing!! That is a song that makes mr. slade think of me--he always smiles and looks at me when it comes on the radio--how sweet.

12/02/2005 6:49 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Slade - Heh. That's cute about you and Mr. Slade. So you know a little bit of magic along with being a hot English Prof, huh? :)

Yeah, definitely do a drunk post. Just start typing before you sober up.

12/02/2005 8:07 AM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

HAHAHAHA... you are SO cute drunk. I was waiting for you to break out into: "I love you guys" but "You are all the best" is close enough. Sounds like you were having lots of fun, that could be me tomarrow night, i am going out for a friends birthday, so maybe when I come home, if I can still see straight I will do a post... dedicate it to The Zombieslayer

12/02/2005 9:50 AM  
Blogger dave said...

Now I'm feeling good while he's flying a helicopter indoors.

that's the best sentence i've read in a while.

12/02/2005 10:27 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

I hope he wasn't flying the gas chopper in the house!

12/02/2005 6:22 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Tshsmom - No, he flew the electric one in the house. The gas one stinks and even drunk, he wouldn't do that to his beloved house.

Dave - Cool. Good to know I still got it. :)

Clothosfate - I had so much fun writing that post. I didn't bother to edit it, because I knew I could barely write.

Have a wonderful time at the party. I want to party with you crazy Canadians one of these days.

12/03/2005 12:02 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

love this post..your so funny sweetie..and god knows I needed a laugh.

12/03/2005 1:18 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Dusty - Happy to cheer you up, even if only for a laugh or two. Pain sucks. I hope you feel better soon.

12/03/2005 6:30 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Sounds as if those olives were laced with lsd or are you simply an incorrigible drunk occasionally.J K.
My Quack; a local oriental witch doctor and sooth sayer, has ordered me to stay off the turps and has prescribed 500mls of fresh filtered water to be consumed slowly during the early minutes after waking and a trip to the dunny, fruit 15 mins later, then a low carb brekky.
After a long lay in and and a trip to the wotsit and a rub of my eyeballs I sat down at our breakfast table and consumed two cups of coffee with sugar plus eggs bacon mushrooms and tomatoes,with toast, my darling who I am seriously in love with after .5 centuries tells me "I Love you dear but you look fairly disgusting" I replied "I imagine so too, and the contrast makes you more beautiful", from er indoors I get,"Fix the dishes and clean up in the kitchen I'm going out" I reply "yes Sir". vest daily gaggle.

12/05/2005 1:50 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - Heh. No, it wasn't laced, I'm just a cheap date when it comes to liquor. I could hold my beer, but liquor hits me like a ton of bricks.

I hope your Quack knows what he's doing. I've never trusted Quacks. Haven't seen one in years.

I'm very pro-alcohol. I've noticed every person I'm aware of who lived past 115 drank on a daily basis. That Japaneses guy drank Whiskey and Sake, that French lady drank wine, and I forgot what the American drank, but he drank some liquor.

People die of heart disease. That's how the majority of people die. Alcohol (in moderation of course) is the best thing for your heart, besides fish oils.

12/05/2005 10:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

punkbandaid...love your sweet Wobblies...g&h

12/08/2005 2:15 PM  
Blogger mckay said...

martinis: a classy way to chug gin ;-)

1/11/2006 5:20 PM  

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