Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hot Mexican Babe - Thalia & some bar jokes

Exmi saved Thalia from the zombie plague, for I had no idea who she was. Shortly, she'll be getting the formal invitation. So good news, Exmi, she'll be safe when the zombies come.

The last hot Latina singer I knew of was Selena, and that was only after that crazy lady who ran her fan club killed her. Before that, I knew Yuri. Yuri sang some cute, catchy songs that I probably never heard sober.

I used to go dancing in Mexico. One thing you got to love about Mexico is that they have this concept of keeping the nightclubs open late. Sure, they have it in San Francisco, New York City, and a few other American cities, but so much of America closes at 2 A.M. At 2 A.M. when I was younger, that was when the fun began.

Yuri was the rage there back then. She sang songs that now I'd probably look back at and wonder why I liked them, but as I said, I probably never heard them sober.

As for Thalia, I'll have to pick up one of her albums. If you go to Thalia's site (do a google search then hit "I Feel Lucky"), she has some clips of her music. Not a bad voice. And easy to look at. Would love to see her perform live at the anti-zombie compound. Don't worry, it will have a stage and a PA system.



Speaking of drinking, how about some jokes?

A feminist walks into a bar and asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender tells her he can't serve her.

"Why, is it because I'm a woman?"

"No, because it's past 2 A.M."



A guy's just sitting at a bar with a beer in front of him. Suddenly, the bar brute comes into the bar, sits next to him, and gulps down the guy's beer.

The guy starts crying. The bar brute apologizes and says he can't stand to see another man cry. He even buys him another drink.

The sad guy responds, "it's not that. I'm just having the worst day of my life. I got fired this morning from work, so I come home early and find my wife sleeping with another man. Then I come to this bar and just when I'm going to end it all, you drink my poison."

37 Comments:

Anonymous Michele said...

Rosalyn and I didn't get the first one, but the second one was funny.

11/10/2005 8:38 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Michele - That's okay. My buddy here said it was stupid too.

11/10/2005 8:40 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

That girl certainly never gets called "Fatso" does she?

Okay you asked for it . . .

Where do Vampires learn to suck blood?

Answer - Law School

Ben O.

11/10/2005 10:00 AM  
Blogger Bhakti said...

hahahaha! I love the poison joke--made me laugh!

Okay...here's the only joke I can remember the punchline to:

Who do Polish lesbians have sex with?

Men.


That joke kills me every time!!

11/10/2005 12:27 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Thanks for a bright spot in my otherwise full of annoyances day...

Good job saving the babe! Wow! That's all, just wow!

11/10/2005 1:14 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Curses! I have you AND exmi rushing out of the compound to grab hot babes now....

I shall have to double my efforts...

11/10/2005 1:34 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Staying on theme...I quickly claim Paz Vega and extend a compound invite to her...although, come to think of it, she may be Spanish and not Mexican...oh well, she played a Mexican mom in 'Spanglish' and that's enough for me...

11/10/2005 2:33 PM  
Blogger Slade said...

I have a joke that only the Zombieslayer can truly appreciate coming from me, your favorite feminist:

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

~Because she was a woman


kisses

11/10/2005 2:51 PM  
Blogger Moni said...

heheheh! Can't think of any bar jokes, I'll get back to ya. ;)

11/10/2005 3:43 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

I am sadly lacking the the "bar jokes" department. Good laugh for my Friday. :-)

11/10/2005 4:36 PM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

Oooo hot babe indeed!

LOL @ the jokes!

I'd like to add to the jokes, if acceptable...

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."


Okay that was pretty bad... one more try...

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Crap, I'm on the wrong bus!"


Okay, so they were both bad. Hahaha!

11/10/2005 5:28 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Didn't get the first one either...to a man?

maybe the anaesthetic hasn't worn off yet....Bridg

11/10/2005 7:41 PM  
Blogger Bo Salisbury said...

ZS... where'd you get that photo of michele?

11/10/2005 7:50 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Ben O - Nice. You or I need to do a lawyer joke post.

Bhakti - You got two laughs here. My buddy laughed too.

Shawn - Well, you can thank Exmi.

ZL - I have you AND exmi rushing out of the compound to grab hot babes now....

I had Cultureshocked before, but he retired. :(

Shawn again - Paz Vega, huh? She's Spanish. I do an image search and apparently, she has no problem with walking around nekkid in her movies. Very nice. I think a post on the Cheese is Moldy Milk blog is in order, dontcha think?

11/10/2005 8:05 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Slade - A Helen Keller joke I've never heard before. You're the best, Slade. :)

Hey, I've been busy. That cartoon of you is only half done. :(

Moni - Looking forward to them. Love bar jokes (he says as he takes another swig from his martini).

Notta - As long as I could get you to laugh. That's always a good thing.

Bsoholic - I love that first one. That was awesome. I'll remember that.

Bridget - That's okay, it wasn't that funny. I know the guy who wrote it though. Hope you're feeling better. Dentists scare me.

Bo - Levi's Mom? Well, then we see where Levi gets his looks from. Mrs. Z says he has a nice face.

11/10/2005 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Melanie said...

Zombie,
It must be a family-thing, (Michele's my sis and Rosalyn, my neice)because I didn't get that first joke either. Guess we're kind of thick.

11/10/2005 8:18 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Melanie - All right. That joke struck out. :(
Don't feel bad. Nobody I told it to yet laughed.

11/10/2005 10:07 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Hey Z! You're right, Thalia is quite a catch.

I started a new game if you wanna play: "Oh Great Google" See blog for details. In the interest of protecting your real name, you could play using "Zombies" and then the word of your choice.

11/11/2005 4:27 AM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Heads will roll for THAT lapse in intel... problem corrected (grumble grumble)

11/11/2005 5:46 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Zombie, you always know how to pick the hot babes. You are broadening my horizons!

11/11/2005 7:30 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Leslie - I saw that Leslie needs. I thought the one of your hubby was prettey funny. So yeah, I'll definitely check out your game. Funny the things we can do with a search engine. :)

ZL - Heads will roll for THAT lapse in intel... problem corrected (grumble grumble)

Hee hee.

Scott - Well, giving credit where it's due, she was Exmi's find.

11/11/2005 7:51 AM  
Blogger Kris said...

Oh my goodness - forget the jokes - that woman was smoking. Reminds me of my obsession with Jessica Alba . . . ;)

11/11/2005 8:30 AM  
Blogger Levi Nunnink said...

I got the feminist joke. I think it's funny.

I've never heard of Thalia but if she's got a Shakira groove going, I'd probably like her.

11/11/2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger lime said...

lol, one less bar brute at leastxrjdv

11/11/2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger The Wedding Party said...

you need a pic of vida guerra. now, that's a hot piece of ass. emphasis on ASS!

11/11/2005 11:13 AM  
Anonymous Melanie said...

Zombie-
Levi's just trying to act like he's smarter than his mom, sister and aunt by saying he got that joke,and even implies that he lol'd. Please don't encourage this smartie-pants behaviour.

11/11/2005 12:18 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

lol.. hey wasn't this psot a little early? Today is friday... and I do believe that you and I are in the same, well basically the same, time zone, not a couple days appart, or at least you never appeared to me to be posting from China.

She's a hottie... I have to admit I like your taste. I have never been to Mexico, but I have many friends who want me to go.

Personally I have always wanted to drive down the west coast. I am in B.C. so I figured I would just drive to the coast and head down to California, maybe go down further into Mexico... my beemer would love me for it. But I would have trouble narrowing down which four girlfriends of mine would come... they ALL want to.

Meh

11/11/2005 12:49 PM  
Blogger clothosfate said...

by the way slade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

11/11/2005 12:50 PM  
Blogger Capybaras United said...

Hello Zombieslayer,

I've added you to my blogroll right next to your favorite person.

:-)

(on bikebikerevolution, not capybarasunited)

11/11/2005 7:20 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

CU - Cool, I'll check it out tonight. Going to a wedding in an hour. :)

Clothosfate - Yup, we're in the same time zone. But CDs where you live are cheaper than CDs here. :(

Careful driving through Mexico. I had one friend who had his car stolen by the police. I had another friend who had a fight scheduled in Mexico and he got stopped by the police and since he didn't have enough money to bribe them off, he had to go back to Texas and forfeit the fight.

Mexican police in some areas are so corrupt the military has to move in and restore order. You're better off flying in and meeting someone there to take you around. That's what I often did. You'd love Mexico though. Clubs open until four in even the smaller towns. People are wonderful. Cheap booze. And, it's gorgeous.

Melanie - All right. Levi, stop laughing at my jokes. ;)

Wedding - I think Exmi mentioned her too. I'll have to check her out.

Lime - Yup, that guy got no sympathy from me. Stealing another guy's beer is just wrong!

Levi - I'm buying her latest album this weekend and will have a review and an mp3 for you.

Kris - Jessica Alba was already a hot babe on this site. I love Ms Alba too. Wow!

11/12/2005 10:06 AM  
Blogger Bhakti said...

Hi My Beloved Zombie Slayer!
I have nominated you for a Blogger prize! The honors come from Miladysa.blogspot.com

Check out her site to figure out how to download the nomination tiara! (she is from England, you know!).

Lots of laughs and joy,
Bhakti

11/12/2005 4:33 PM  
Blogger Miladysa said...

Congratulations!!! You have been nominated by Bhakti for FBF (Fit Bit Friday) - a weekly award for absolutely fabulous members of the blogging community. Please pop over and collect your Nominee Tiara.

Your supporters will need to pop over too and register their votes.

Good Luck!

11/13/2005 3:29 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Miladysa - Love your taste in architecture. I feel honored in being nominated.

Bhakti - Thanks for the nomination. Wow, can't remember the last time I actually won anything.

11/13/2005 4:48 PM  
Blogger Miladysa said...

Thank you kind Sir!

I took a peek at your profile - "Once Were Warriors" - we are talking about the Maori film here? One of my top ten favourites!

11/13/2005 5:22 PM  
Anonymous snavybaby said...

Dancing!!?? Thought I was gonna teach you?? Hehe!!

Cute jokes!!

11/13/2005 5:39 PM  
Blogger exMI said...

Nope, I didn't mention Vida, I called for Adamari Lopez, a small (4'10", quite attractive, Puerto Rican actress.

11/13/2005 9:32 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Exmi - told you I can't remember anything. Okay, I'll check her out too. Your Thalia was quite a find. Wow!

Snavy - Yes, you better teach me before I make a bigger fool out of myself than I already have. I don't think I've ever been on a dance floor sober, and you know how when you have a good buzz going, you think you can do things you shouldn't be doing? Well, that's me and dancing.

Miladysa - Yes, that's the one. Seen it about ten times and also got one of my film classes to see it. I think I ruffled a few feathers there. That's one disturbing movie.

You have good taste in books. We've had some Harry Potter discussions on this blog before. My wife is more into Rice. I've only read The Witching Hour, which I loved. Never finished the sequel to it though.

11/14/2005 1:17 AM  

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