Sunday, September 18, 2005

Multi-ethnic jokes

All right. After last week's poor showing by the Packers, they better win today or else I'm going to be pissed. That stupid Packers offensive line. They really fema'd that game. Poor Favre got sacked four times and knocked down eight other times.

Well, here are some multi-ethnic jokes for ya. Funniest thing is I heard that second joke from Mohammed Ali (taped, not live). He was at some ceremony and you know how Ali took too many blows to the head? Well, he started rattling off some highly unpolitically correct jokes. I wish the camera zoomed in on his posse. I could just imagine them cringing. Finally, one of his peeps grabbed the mic from him. Too bad he didn't give the guy a right hook to the ribs and continue telling jokes. Ali's still a funny guy, despite his rattled brain.

For my multi-ethnic hot babe, here's Vanity.
She was in a Tales from the Crypt and did a nude scene. My jaw just about dropped. Now I see why Prince did a movie about her. Last I heard though, she was nuts. Oh well.

Now, if only I didn't suffer from C.R.S., I'd remember more than just that one Mr Ali said. Fortunately, I did remember two others. Enjoy.


Why is Sunday morning the best time to go for a ride?
The Christians are in church.
The Jews are counting their money.
The Irish are hung-over.
The Blacks are in jail.
And the Mexicans can't get their cars started.



A Black guy, a Mexican, and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving?

The police.



A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting next to each other in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish guy punches the Chinese guy on the arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor."

"I'm Chinese. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor."

"Ah Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same to me."

A few drinks later, the Chinese guy punches the Jewish guy on the arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"That was for the Titanic."

"But the Titanic hit an iceberg."

"Ah, iceberg, Goldburg, it's all the same to me."

11 Comments:

Blogger Liquidplastic said...

Vanity is not nuts, she's just a religious fanatic now.

I have heard the first joke before, but I loved the last two the most! Keep on keeping on!

9/18/2005 2:35 PM  
Blogger Miranda said...

*grin* I like the police one.

9/18/2005 2:53 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Sorry about the Pack man... It's not going to be a pretty year.

9/18/2005 6:26 PM  
Blogger tenxinchoden said...

Haw Haw!! very funny Zombie...

it reminded me of this teacher i had when in high school...he use to do thin'...

9/18/2005 10:48 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Hahah! You dork.

9/19/2005 6:44 AM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

Good ones! LOL

9/19/2005 6:47 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

My jokes are too racy, and it makes people cringe to hear them. Sorry about the Pack this weekend. I'm a Cowboys fan, but the Pack are my number two team. Maybe not when Favre is gone, I'm not sure. The guy is all class. NFL Primetime says he finished strong in the last game. Maybe they will pick up. The Vikes aren't much to worry about it seems, but I'm not sure about the rest of the division.

9/19/2005 8:31 AM  
Blogger snavy said...

Those were good! Thanks for the chuckle!

9/19/2005 9:04 AM  
Anonymous Michele said...

I like the Mexican one, although I do wonder what makes us prone to crime. I believe the stereo-type about stealing. I often find myself figuring out the best way to lift something, even though I know I won't do it.

9/19/2005 9:07 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Crime has many causes - broken families, class, urban vs rural. You generally don't see criminals with two parents who loved them. You generaly don't see criminals with a college degree either.

The tie with class though is that lower class crimes get prosecuted worse. You rob a store with a gun and you end up in jail for years. You steal the pensions from two thousand of your employees, robbing them with a pen and destroying their future, and you go to a country club prison.

Thanks for the sympathy for my beloved Packers. Geez, even when they retire the late, great Reggie White's number and the Packers can't win. It's sad.

As for Vanity, I still have the hots for her though.

9/19/2005 9:14 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

Tales from the cript: I attended an elderly friends funeral a few months ago, and a strange guy aproached me after I saw my old mate disappear through the hole in the wall to be consumed by the fires of hell. A card was shoved in my hand, he then told me that he could assist me to overcome my grief and to call him if necessary. The card stated,
D READ, After death communications research consultant.

9/23/2005 6:26 PM  

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