Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Good foreigners vs Bad foreigners

Welcome to America. Feel free to drive around and explore the most beautiful nation on Earth. True, I haven't been to every country yet, but I know enough to know that America has so much land diversity that we blow away everywhere else. We still have open space, and our climate is not too extreme. Sure Siberia (in Russia) has lots more open space, just don't get stuck there during winter time. Just as important, we have more freedom than just about anywhere else. Did you know in Britain, remaining silent is an admission of guilt? Pretty scary, huh? Also, you can't own guns. How do they expect you to defend yourself against zombies? I'd never rely on the government to do anything, except deliver mail. They're pretty good at that. But to defend you against zombies, dream on.

I generally like foreigners. Most are kind, decent folks who just want to know what the talk is all about. Everyone wants to come to America, the land of opportunity. Here it's still possible to go from rags to riches. I personally have gone from the middle to rags (bad economic decisions, happens to the best of us) to on my way to being rich, so I know that if you have the brains, the determination, and a little bit of luck, you can be successful here.

Now, there are people here I don't like. They're what I'll call the bad foreigners. I'm sure you know the type. They're the ones who are here in America working an American job and flying their own flag, which is fine, but instead of being grateful, they bash America. They bash Americans, and they keep bragging about their own stupid country. If your country is so great, why are you here? I'll tell you why you're here. You're here because your country sucks, the people smell bad, and they're ugly. Your government is corrupt, and you couldn't find a decent job there. Your people are not only ugly, but they breed like rabbits. Your environment is all screwed up. You can't swim in your rivers without getting parasites or hepatitis, and you're so over-crowded that when the zombies come, we won't have enough bullets to kill all of them.

So, good foreigners, you know who you are. I invited you over for dinner. We've gone out drinking beers and shared strippers together. I like you.

As for the bad foreigners, when the zombies come, don't expect me to let you in to my anti-zombie compound. Instead, I'll lock up and laugh as they maul you and take you away. I'll probably even videotape it.


Blogger dave said...

zombie, you make me laugh.

5/04/2005 11:50 AM  
Blogger neal said...


12/03/2005 6:06 AM  

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