Tuesday, May 03, 2005

French Film

The French like to believe they make better films than Hollywood.  They don't.
Don't feel bad though, French people. You do make better films than the
Brits. "28 Days Later" was the worst horror movie I've ever seen. Ever. It
was so bad that some heckler in the theatre screamed "this movie sucks!" and
everyone laughed. We almost walked out. We should have. And "Lock, Stock,
and Two Smoking Barrels" was a mediocre Tarantino rip-off. That stupid
movie that glorified heroin wasn't that good either. I don't even remember
the title, it was that bad.

The French also make better movies than the Indians. Despite the Indians
making probably more than 10 times more movies a year than the French,
possibly their best film ever, "Monsoon Wedding" was alright. So don't
feel bad, French people, you are #2. We are #1. Sure, 99% of the stuff we
produce is utter crap, but we still put out 3-4 good films a year. You put
out maybe 1.

Here's a rundown of good French film to see. Check out Caro's and Jeunet's
"The City of Lost Children" and "Delicatessen," both brilliant films. The
former is a wonderful dark fantasy and the latter is a wonderful post-
apocalyptic black comedy. Check out "Red." "White" and "Blue" sucked,
despite the hype. "The Year of the Medusa" wasn't too bad. "La Femme
Nikita" was overrated. Feel free to miss it, unless someone else is renting
it with their money and they're supplying the beer and popcorn. "My Wife
is an Actress" is on my top 10 list for worst movies ever. Please, don't see
it. It's so bad it's on par with Highlander 2, as one of the movies I'm trying
to block out of my head. "Manon of the Spring" was alright. The chick in
there was gorgeous. Okay, I'd readily admit, French women are hot. But
their movies just aren't on par with American movies. Sorry French people.

UPDATE: The Brits finally put out a decent film - Shawn of the Dead. I worked
with some liberal ass wipe who was just like that David character. We cheered
when he got hacked to pieces by zombies. See, that's what happens when you
ban guns - you have no way to fight zombies. Losers.


Blogger dave said...

i ordered a turkey sandwich when i was in paris. it was at a cafe that shared a sidewalk with the louvre. it had an egg in it. who puts a fried egg in a turkey sandwich?

the french are dumb, most of them are mean, and their country supports terrorists. parle vous napalm?

5/04/2005 12:09 PM  

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