Poo Poo Muffins

A friend of mine needs to clean his colon. Yeah, I know, you're thinking "groooss," but when you reach into your 30s, you realize that all that beef you've eaten over your lifetime is catching up to you. So he's been trying one of those colon flushing systems and seems to feel it's all for naught. Well, can't help you there. What I can do is tell you about my world famous "poo poo muffins."

No, they do not taste like poo poo, that's the beauty of them. I found the way to make muffins with the maximum amount of fiber and still taste good. They're not like the muffins you get at those stinky hippy stores that taste like health food. These are actually tasty muffins.

Dry ingredients:
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup of either 10-grain, flax seed, or another hi-fiber grain mix
1/2 cup sugar
1 t baking soda
1 t corn starch
1/2 t salt

Wet ingredients:
1 cup milk
2 eggs
4 T butter

Pre-heat the oven to 500 degrees. Combine all the dry ingredients. You might want to add in something yummy like cinammon, chocolate chips, or fresh blueberries. Mix thoroughly.

In a separate container, combine the melted butter (you didn't assume you just stick that butter in whole, did you?), eggs, and milk. You can add something yummy on this end too like vanilla extract or real maple syrup (not the fake corn syrup crap). Now combine the wet ingredients.

After both are stirred separately, pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredient container. Stir for 20 seconds only. Do not overstir. You want them light and fluffy. Stick 'em in muffin tins, then stick 'em in the oven.

As soon as you put them in, turn the oven down to 400 degrees. Cook 22 minutes for Texas sized muffins, 17 minutes for regular. You could tell when they're done simply by putting a knife in the biggest muffin and pulling it out. Enjoy.

The next morning, you should have a nice poo poo.